INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
ROGER GOODELL: …and so I handed him a six-game suspension! Ha ha ha ha! Isn’t that hilarious?
PRODUCER: [appearing horrified] I’m not sure that skipping a mandatory league seminar to take your mother to a chemotherapy session really qualifies as…
GOODELL: [sips coffee, interrupts] So we’re good to go?
PRODUCER: [checks wristwatch] Yep, just ten seconds and we’re live. Ready?
GOODELL: Damn skippy.
PRODUCER: [counts it off]
GOODELL: Good afternoon, and welcome to “Request Line”! I’m Roger Goodell and…[punches talkback button]…hey, are you hearing anything funny going on?
PRODUCER: Um, no your levels look fine.
GOODELL: Oh, good, cause I thought I was catching some static.
PRODUCER: …
GOODELL: Ha ha, get it? Static? Like the way they always give me a hard time at the draft?
PRODUCER: Oh. Right. Very amusing.
GOODELL: Okay, so as you know the NFL draft is right around the corner, where dreams are made (and then later ground up into dust and mixed with tears to form a fine paste of CTE and permanent debilitating injuries). Every team is under pressure to make the right choice, and they only have a few minutes to make up their minds. In honor of that, today’s theme is “On The Clock” – we’re looking for songs about being under the gun, running out of time, having to make a decision, having to hurry. Looks like we’ve got our first caller. You’ve reached Request Line, what song would you like to hear?
CALLER 1: BOOOOO!
GOODELL: [tries to laugh it off] Ho ho, just like the draft. What can I play for you?
CALLER 1: BOOOOOO!
GOODELL: Okay, okay, very funny. What song would you…
CALLER 1: Baba-BOOOOOOOOOOO-ey!
GOODELL: [hangs up] Well, that got old fast. Let’s try another one. [punches button]
CALLER 2: Hello?
GOODELL: Hello, you’re on the air.
CALLER 2: Oh, cool! So I had a question about the theme.
GOODELL: Shoot.
CALLER 2: So when you say “running out of time” do you mean like real time, or fake time?
GOODELL: Fake time?
CALLER 2: Yeah, fake time like that bullshit number you claimed for running the forty.
GOODELL: Hey now…
CALLER 2: YOU’RE A LIAR AND YOUR FORTY TIME IS A FRAUD!
GOODELL: [hangs up] God damn jackasses.
PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Please don’t swear on the air.
GOODELL: But he just…
PRODUCER: We’re not responsible for the callers. The FCC only fines us when the deejays do it.
GOODELL: Okay, let’s try this one last time. [punches button] Hello, what can I play for you?
CALLER 3: Oh, hi! So I was hoping I could get in a request for a DOUBLE SHOT.
GOODELL: A double shot?
PRODUCER: It’s when you play two songs in a row – basically two requests.
GOODELL: I don’t know…
CALLER 3: But you haven’t even heard my requests yet!
GOODELL: [glances at the PRODUCER, who nods enthusiastically] All right, let’s hear what you’ve got.
CALLER 3: My first request is for “Out of Touch” by Hall and Oates.
GOODELL: [pleasantly surprised] Yeah…yeah, we can play that. Sounds good. And what’s your second request?
CALLER 3: I request that you go fuck yourself.
GOODELL: [hangs up] Why did I even agree to do this?
[…] Request Line: On The Clock – March 30, 2018 […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nW-IPrzM1g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV4oYkIeGJc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0kHg8bHjkY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySO-gryuO-c
A variation on the theme…admittedly.
But it works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmErRm-vApI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CYjC6hnZDk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjuUMA6W9Zs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdLYCjTACpQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL6cT89fWjs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0ArZU2AfMs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsppa3GSFc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f13jrjaekY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S25P8facKxU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rPOg6VnzV8
Can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AJsLkRbQ74
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE3DgcECSn8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwYX52BP2Sk
MY BAD I SHOULD READ CLOSER!
I THOUGHT IT WAS SONGS ABOUT COCKS!!
OH COME ON! THIS IS A DICK JOKE BLOG!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUnO4gK_56g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWJE0x7T4Q
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x23ojb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYwiwbgMusY
So it’s about being on the clock, making a decision?
I got something for that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw
That was actually the general direction I expected this Request Line to take – but I really enjoyed the turn it took into “time to die” territory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv6w254fuRw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xd4UPRi2PY
[pulls cargo shorts up above belly]
“I think I got me a late-rounder that’s gonna blossom into a star!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No
I fucking love this tune.
rocking out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q73Jb8ChjuM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x5PKGH4fqU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inMRsf9bc1w
So, Cyndi Lauper Time After Time isn’t appropriate?
This scene always hits me way up in the feels-Knocking On Heaven’s Door
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjR7_U2u3sM
Coming to the End of the Line (3/5ths of the Wilburys are already there).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM
I don’t think Jeff Lynne has ever truly been alive anyway.
Time running out? This fits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFETrcH1Dks
“Bluetime” is the point in Pac-Man where the ghosts change color (to blue) for a limited time and you can eat them. Hence the idea of being on the clock, with a sense of urgency.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NzL0CN07Jc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZF2Qyhmr3A
Does this make the cut?
/day drink drunk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3CN31N_qiY
I think I can get away with this double shot without RTD banning me permanently.
Let’s find out…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptOOwqjvtbM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhGqugHuAyQ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=bKIzbO5Q1nQ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6ptFKBKYbv0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0mcEw7MAmQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVpZTQO6H3c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qbRHY1l0vc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wMesI8aiw
Did you ever see Clockwatchers? It was a cute little movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujpk_QJPnW8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVXTmav24Wk
I could post a solid quarter of the Hamilton soundtrack but that will get even more stuff thrown at me than the basedball preview yesterday, so here’s just one, now will you put your socks fulla marbles away?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPgE7PNzXag
I’ll stay on topic, you dirty fuckers. Gimme Electric Six.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hytg8uo48_U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblt2EtFfC4