Your “In The Most Delightful Way” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Hi all. After a welcome three-day holiday weekend away from the #content mines, I’m ready to return you to the cromulence of my banality. I golfed & drank on Saturday & saw Deadpool 2 & drank on Monday; in betwixt, I soberly crammed in family time with the extendeds. Thanks to everyone who both covered my arse & made me look bad while doing so.

NFL News:

  • Well, the Eagles are scheduled to visit the White House on June 5th.
    • That falls during team OTAs between June 4-7, so seems designed to induce maximum attendance as an organized team activity.
    • The debate is on about how many players will attend.
  • The NFL spring meetings start today:

  • Per nfl.com, the NFL and the Players Coalition finalized a partnership Monday that dedicates close to $90 million for efforts and programs combating social inequality.
    • Expect the owners to want something back for their expression of generosity & solidarity.
  • From the “aww fuck, he’s coming back, isn’t he?” file, Richie Incognito has been removed from the “reserve/retired” list by the Bills.
    • He wants to try playing somewhere else, so he asked them to change his status.
    • He remains under investigation for an alleged racial slur during the Bills-Jags playoff game.

Finally, Laura Wagner at Deadspin took a run at PFT Commenter today. The story itself is quite a fair read, if also familiar ground. She raises the issue of how can he remain anonymous while profiting off that same privilege, and why do outlets afford him the ability to be hands-off from an otherwise seedy organization like Barstool. Naturally, most critical comments never made it out of the grays – even ones that may have deserved to.

Her twitter, however,

went in the usual direction mouth breathers feel they need to go in when someone DARES upset their apple cart.

at the behest of fine, upstanding members of the internet.

So, just another day in the online paradise, which is why the tag is so appropriate. Feel free to go look for yourself, but I’m not responsible for the bleach your eyes will need.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • no game scheduled. Stupid fucking Jets.
  • Memorial Cup:
    • Acadie-Bathurst vs. Hamilton – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Warriors – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Indians at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rockies at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Fußballfreundlich
    • Los Angeles FC vs. Borussia Dortmund – 10:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Smackdown is moving to FOX next year, after they paid $1.0 billion for 5 years of rights.
        • To quote Deadspin: WWE is cashing in on TV channels’ thirst for live sports TV…its fans enjoy watching programs live. That means it’s relatively DVR-proof.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Alfred Palmer/Office of War Information
1942

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

The important thing is that no one ever really wanted to know who PFTC is because it would ruin the magic for pretty much everyone who ever read and enjoyed his work.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You know your favorite taco shop is good when a girl you haven;t seen in months texts you because of it.

Unsurprised

Nah. She wants your taco.

Wait. That’s not right.

blaxabbath

WHat is the knock on barstool? I mean, any more than the typical east coast bullshit that *everyone* loves and associates with true sports fandom?

And when did deadspin get bad? I don’t really visit it but I thought people liked that one.

Unsurprised

Everything sucks now. Didn’t you get the memo?

Unsurprised

The important thing is that I’ve tried listening to PFTC’s podcast a couple of times and every time I had to stop because it was just terrible and I was afraid the gambling ads were giving me cancer.

Mr. Ayo

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yeah right

Agreed. The article felt pretty unnecessary and pretty petty. I don’t endorse the barstool thing anyway but I just don’t get the point.

Brocky

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve decided I want to retire now.

yeah right

Talk to me in 10 years. I know a guy who can get things and he
has this place in Mexico.

Are you guys accepting 29 year olds? Because I’d really like to get paid and not work for you.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

“Pansy.”

— Action Park

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Warriors are overrated.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nuts to that!”

– Terracotta supplier, circa 209 B.C.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whew!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Andy Reid, going up three steps

Unsurprised

/Calls for a ribs timeout

Senor Weaselo

It’s actually interesting. I mean, not gonna care until there’s a Game 7. Maybe.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I stand corrected, this series is not over.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why Paul didn’t deliberately miss that second free throw – Golden State would have to hit a seventy footer.

WCS

Oh, look! An “exclusive” interview with Kellyanne Conway on my local news!

/changes channel

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why the fuck would anyone talk to, or listen to, that woman? You might as well interview the local crazy cat lady for all the coherent answers you’re gonna get.

Unsurprised

I read that not only is there going to be a Roger Ailes movie, but that goddamn Charlize Theron is playing Megyn Kelly. Everything is fucked, dude.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There has not been a single fourth quarter lead change or tie in these shitty, shitty conference finals. Either conference.

rockingdog

cool fun fact.

Mr. Ayo

There could be one tonight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I said it so the universe would say “Fuck you, Rikki” and give us one.

Mr. Ayo

And there it is. Good job RTD

Senor Weaselo

The Yankees are trying to figure out just how many runs you can spot the other team before they come back. It was 5-0 Dirt Cowboys after 2, it is now 6-4 in the 8th.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Brick Meathook

Here’s me landing the other day. Normally I do better but I was pretty high at the time. I apologize for the footage quality but the photographer I hired is from Guatemala and is very poor and this is the best camera that he can afford, so let’s be supportive and not make fun of his prehistoric equipment or his shoes that are actually old styrofoam coffee cups taped to his feet.
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Brocky

……..john mccain’s dad?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck you Houston I though you were going to make this interesting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– me during every space launch ever (except once)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What do you have against teachers?

ballsofsteelandfury

This is tremendous.

Brocky

And i just realized both of these guys are dead. Cancer fucking sucks

WCS

Steroids and cigarettes, aka, what makes a MAN A MAN.

Unsurprised

That and a pair of testicles.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In tonight’s episode of the cat toys with its prey before killing it, the Houston Rockets will be playing the part of a blind mouse.

rockingdog

this 3rd quarter is gettin crazy.

also it helps i went and smoked a bowl at halftime….hahaha

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– me, playing Golden Axe in an arcade

rockingdog

oh my. this what u referencing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfAeU62EEnk

Unsurprised

Yes.

Spur
Spur

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Spur
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the firemen (women?) just admitted to her colleagues that she’s afraid of fire. And instead of telling her they will miss her because obviously she needs to quit, they all agree to cover for her.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This can only end well.

blaxabbath

Who better to fight fires than someone fearful of them?

I’d make a great Spider-Man.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We are watching the Grey’s Anatomy version of Chicago Fire – it’s truly, magnificently terrible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Suddenly the idea of sister-wives makes sense.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Star Wars Holiday Special bad?

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Harden doesn’t get the call Durant got

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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