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Your “Score What [You] Need And Go Pick A Girl Up” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

By the time this post comes live, they’ll be into hour 3 of the Belmont pre-race coverage. So there’ll be plenty of time to still get your bets in. HAIL GAMBLOR!

Tonight’s sports:

  • Horse racing: The Belmont – 4:00PM | NBC
  • AHL:
    • 2018 Calder Cup Finals: Marlies vs. Stars – Game 5 – 8:00PM | TSN2
  •  Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Yankees at Mets – 7:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
    • NCAA Baseball Tournament: Super Regionals
      • Game 1: South Carolina at Arkansas – 6:30PM | ESPN
      • Game 2: Washington at Cal State (Fullerton) – 6:30PM | ESPNU
      • Game 2: Mississippi State at Vanderbilt – 9:30PM | ESPN
      • Game 2: Minnesota at Oregon State – 9:30PM | ESPNU
  • Futbol:
    • MLS: Whitecaps vs. Orlando – 7:00PM | TSN
  • Autocars:
    • Texas Indy 600 – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
  • UFC 225:
    • Prelims: Whittaker vs. Romero 2: From Chicago – 8:00PM | FS1
      • the first fight of the main card is CM Punk vs. some dude who will kill him
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Brocky

Who the fuck is still up? Gotta riddle for ya, what do these things have in common? 3rd year in a row I’ve tried this:

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Mr. Ayo

Two boobs propped up by Sports Illustrated?

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Brocky

I mean, you’re not wrong.

Think less cynical, think more random

glances at calendar

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Mr. Ayo

They share a birthday! Happy birthday you two!

/ You too Peter
// And you as well Kate

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Brocky

Close…..

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuiwIFLKa2I

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, a shot and a beer and then back to X-Files.
Later taters.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe….that’s awesome.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Methinks I need to go to sleep. Night, all.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

After I get my nightly call from California (hehehe) I’ll be right behind you.

Figuratively speaking, of course.
(you can unclench)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

This was also in Carson, between the Ikea and the Target.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s a Titanic “King of the World” joke here, but I’m not drunk enough to craft it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I’M CLIT OF THE WORLD!”

Not good but it will do for now.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

WARNING: Do not spray on penis.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll take ummmm….two scoops, please.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I think that’s William Faulkner

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

William Faulkner

“A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty, and then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t,” once counselled William Faulkner, who fooled with the stuff well before his tender years. Keeping a bottle of whiskey within reaching distance was a key part of the author’s writing process (he also claimed he liked to work at night when he’d get some many ideas he wouldn’t remember them all in the morning) with Jack Daniels the usual label of choice. Take a trip to his hometown of Oxford, Mississippi, and you might even spot a bottle of the stuff on his gravestone.
Drink of choice – Mint Julep

Faulkner was partial to a Mint Julep, serving it with whiskey, sugar, ice and some crushed mint, all in a metal cup. The recipe was left at his Rowan Oak estate.

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JustStopDude

Every time I see a shithead with a confederate flag trying to claim its heritage, I wish they would instead have like an image of Faulkner. Man I love reading his books. They can be depressing as fuck…but when I think about the South and the wealth of its culture…I think of Faulkner as opposed to a failed political state that didn’t last six fucking years.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those types don’t seem like they’d appreciate the greatness of Faulkner, nor his messages.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

His friend, “Suk Mi Kok” is wanted for questioning.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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You can tell a WASP wrote this meme.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

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JustStopDude

Fucking rough week. I got pulled into a meeting some time this week with my boss, his boss, and two people from HR. I had made it known how concerned I was with the number of field engineers that were leaving and my boss said this was just to address my concerns.

My boss asked me to give the names of the people I think were leaving. I told them I would not violate their trust, especially with “those two in the room” and I pointed at the HR people.

My boss and his boss looked at each other and then turned to where I pointed. Then my boss asked me how many people I thought were in the room. I just muttered “oh no…” and started crying. My boss took me to the local hospital for observation.

This has happened to me before with this employer. I’m not worried about losing my job. I got checked out today by my boss who asked if I was able to conduct the training next week with customers. I had to tell him to please just be there first thing to discretely point out who is real.

In a related note…I fucking hate the movie “A Beautiful Mind”.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’d probably like “The Machinist” even less.

/but seriously I am sorry to hear about your situation.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

/but seriously I am sorry to hear about your situation.

This sounds stupid to me but I really don’t know how to put it.

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herodotus450

If I turn out to be a figment of JSD’s mind I’m gonna be pissed. Gonna go masturbate extrahard just in case.

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JustStopDude

The thing that amazes me is how real the delusion gets.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll remind you that you’re talking to a bunch of football fans who think that THIS year is the one that their franchise finally turns the corner.

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JustStopDude

Could be the Browns year!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Browns having a fabulous year and Hue Jackson getting the credit for it would break me.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So you’re saying RGIII isn’t the answer to Ravens’ fans prayers?

Now you fucking tell me!?!?!?

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JustStopDude

No worries. I find the way Hollywood and TV shows mental health issues to be incredibly…insulting. Like the show Monk, the main character’s serious issue is played up for comedy. In reality, he would be crippled by his OCD.

It sucks but it is what it is. I honestly caused this because I got into a paranoid state, stopped sleeping, stopped eating, and I stopped talking to real people.

I made the real big mistake of stop seeing my shrink because I had got about 2 years without any issues.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For what it’s worth, even though we’ve never met I genuinely do care about you. And I know I’m not the only one here who feels that way.

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JustStopDude

I greatly appreciate it.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

None of us are licensed/qualified, but we’re all here for you

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theeWeeBabySeamus

^ What they said.
Please take care of yourself.

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JustStopDude

Oh I appreciate it. The anonymity of the internet makes this a lot easier to talk about than to people in person.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

A couple of the DFO folks know this about me, but it’s not general knowledge, but what the hell…

When I’m overly stressed and/or sleep deprived, I sometimes hear voices. Not the “go murder a bunch of folks and bury them in the backyard” kind, but it still gets distracting.

And occasionally has been quite embarrassing.

Fortunately, it’s never gotten in the way of life in a major way other than the occasional embarrassment.

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JustStopDude

What amazes me is how I can formulate whole identities and shit for people that don’t exist or they do, but I mutate their personas into almost completely different identities.

Like the majority of the field engineers I was convinced were leaving the company were folks I served with in the military. So like they never worked with the company and I haven’t interacted with or contacted them in like a decade. But I was convinced they worked in the office.

I really thought I had a handle on this. I don’t like using medication because I used to use hard drugs before the military. But oh well…only thing to do is get better.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So does that mean at least that corporate-wise things aren’t as precarious as you’d thought?

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JustStopDude

We are going through difficult times, but it is not as dire as I thought…or I think so.

I am still in the phase where I am questioning a lot of what I think has happened over the last couple of weeks.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

FWIW, it sounds like your boss cares. That’s a good thing.

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JustStopDude

My boss is fucking awesome. The first time it happened, he treated it like no big deal.

Kind of how he treated this last episode.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

When dinner is going to the point that the waiter comps one of your meals, but the service and food are both still atrocious, what’s the right move with the tip? Modest tip on revised bill? Slightly below usual tip on original total?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

If he’s just having a bad night but tried, I usually try not to ding them too badly.
If he’s just a huge asshead, let him know with your %.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Very looooooong waits between any attention from the waiter whatsoever was discouraging.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, I’m back, did you guys…

[sees giant pile of ash]

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

[realizes giant pile of ash was just from Marc Trestman’s Windowless Van having emptied his ashtray]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did someone splice Tyler Durden into that gif?

/but seriously that gif is badly produced and wants to give me seizures

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s not acting.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just wait ’til Robert Paulson shows up. He’ll hug you out of it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Mmm…meat loaf.”

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