INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER sits behind his desk, while a harried-looking DJ3000 escorts a pale-faced and shaking ROOMBA to the exit.
DJ3000: …AND I PROMISE YOU THAT WE WILL NEVER ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.
ROOMBA: [makes sad chiming noise, leaves]
PRODUCER: Man, I’m surprised he didn’t just quit on the spot.
DJ3000: HE’S REALLY WORRIED ABOUT GETTING DISPLACED BY THE 2019 MODELS THAT ARE COMING OUT THIS FALL.
PRODUCER: That’s rough. Good thing technology will never replace us, right buddy?
DJ3000: UM…YEAH. [scans for system updates]
PRODUCER: But seriously I had no idea that Justin Blackmon would make such a mess.
DJ3000: I WAS HOPING HE’D BE FUN.
PRODUCER: Me too. But man, that was just depressing. Hey. So for guys like the Roomba and you, is a show like Battlebots similar to how football is for humans? You know, like gladiator battles? Or it is more like a horror movie?
DJ3000: MAN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ASKING ME ABOUT ROBOT SHIT?
PRODUCER: No, I just meant cause Roomba was…
DJ3000: LIKE JUST BECAUSE I’M A ROBOT YOU THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL ROBOTS.
There is a buzzing noise as the receptionist allows someone into the back offices.
PRODUCER: [with some relief for the distraction from a discussion about robot-human relations] Oh good, that must be today’s host.
— [door flies open] —
TERRELL OWENS: Gentlemen.
PRODUCER: Welcome! Thanks for joining us. You ready to get oriented?
T.O.: Show me the ropes, brother.
The PRODUCER ushers TERRELL OWENS into the studio and takes him through the basics, which he picks up with little difficulty. The PRODUCER emerges and counts things down to begin the show.
PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to yet another edition of Request Line. With me is Terrell Owens of…the Edmonton Eskimos?
T.O.: For now. They have a ten day window to sign me. And then I’m flying, like a bird.
PRODUCER: So you’re still playing football.
T.O.: Oh, absolutely. I’ll play until my arms fall off. Or my legs.
PRODUCER: Congratulations on being perhaps the first football player ever inducted to the Hall of Fame while he’s still on an active roster.
T.O.: Well I appreciate that. I’m not thrilled that they waited this long to call my number, but it’s an honor nonetheless.
PRODUCER: Speaking of which, you publicly said you have no intention of attending the ceremony.
T.O.: Nah.
PRODUCER: But you said that…[reads from a piece of paper]…”At a later date, I will announce where and when I will celebrate my induction.”
T.O.: That’s right, and I’m thrilled to give you the honor of my announcement. I’m going be having my own induction ceremony. But it ain’t gonna be in that backwater nowheresville Canton. It’s going to be in Cleveland, son.
PRODUCER: You mean…
T.O.: That’s right! I’m having my induction ceremony at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
PRODUCER: Oh wow.
T.O.: We’re gonna have a big-ass party, we’re gonna have as much liquor as you can drink, we’re gonna have a big barbecue, we’re gonna have Morris Day and the Time playing…
PRODUCER: That actually sounds like a lot of fun.
T.O.: You wanna come?
PRODUCER: Of course I want to come.
T.O.: Great! It’s $100 per ticket, I’ll put you down for two? I gotta get my deposit in with Morris Day’s people before the 28th or they say they’ll start looking for other bookings…
PRODUCER: Um…
T.O.: Anyhow, let’s get this show on the road. Today’s theme is Rock and/or Roll. I’m talking songs about rocks, and I’m talking songs about rolls, and I’m talking about songs about both. I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from The Jesus and Mary Chain.
—
Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “rock and/or roll” – songs have “rock” or “roll” or both in the title. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tre45on_we@se1”. When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.
Forgot about this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRlmM88zzbY
It’s funny because I was literally thinking of this as a Request Line topic yesterday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApFM8qIo-Ys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf3fK0Kdols
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-KE9lvU810
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUsQj_ha0zU
holy merde – a Moose post ON TOPIC!!
You guys usually do the request lines far better than I, however this one was missed.
That and I tend to chafe and rebel against the authoritarian nature of “themes”
creeping authoritarianism is why The End Is Well Nigh ,, ppl forget that 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL5spALs-eA
Still no linky goodness
Even cheesier than B-52’s 1980 hair!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_niymhcabGQ
/yes, I had this poster in my bedroom during junior high
//no, not proud
Hippo wishes he had been Steve Smith cool. SIGH.
/needs time machine to go back and kill self
The B-52s are fun, intended cheesy, Def Leppard is full 80s cheese factory.
agreed, thus my retroactive shame
I had posters of Bob Lilly, Ed Jones, Bob Hayes, and Tony Dorsett in my room and my uncle’s stolen Playboys in the secret stash place, so we are even.
oh noes, u cheer against Donks in ’77??
I won a case of beer off that game; Donks had NO chance.
We can double that up and I can share in Hippo’s shame…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIan5PvTHlE
Not just leaving this out forevs. I used to manically dance to, and make my oldest kid (as a 1-year old) laugh her ass off to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VCCiY17hKw
Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8195fn_toLQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsS5o6NRRZM
I contend that Quadrophenia is the best album ever produced, and this is its pinnacle. It’s a goddamned masterpiece.
And to anyone who says differently: I WILL FIGHT YOU (at Nintendo).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRF6nmqcbxo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXiQtD5gcHU
Great pick. I wish I had thought of it.
Kidding.
crap, soUrry. It showed as a link for me and not the song, and i was tooooo lazy to click the link until i saw your comment.
/tired now.
hit refresh.
Something went wrong when I put the link in. It still shows up as the link for me, even after closing muh browser.
Put your text BEFORE the link, not after. I was driving somebody crazy with that the other day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezulebF0zdY
“Hey, why you talking about me?”
-A. Cromartie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXiQtD5gcHU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZiKv89fE-k
I can never not think of Clue every time I hear this.
The bit about “the shakes” would have been applicable last week, too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MyJHh451Y4
Double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM-IEMlJyak
Tie to take it down a notch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKlSVNxLB-A
“Hey, it isn’t nice to make fun of others.”
-M. Hutchence
“Wow, look at the size of that cock…and the naked guy’s not exactly small, either.”
Instead of chokin the chicken, the chicken is doin the chokin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrMg3pY7hw
Double shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgcKhqlFz4Q
This is going to be a great playlist. Good luck picking song of the week…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGC3063J-co
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_hiZ19w-3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DgET4Yfwj0
Fuck you. I hate this bastard and his so called music, my ex-wife loved him and played this crap all the time.
I wasn’t even married to her, but I am with you.
I can’t believe it made it this long.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSLid-0cUcI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBZqmJjIDPw
Another from the Led Zeppelin discography:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ledvg7B0Gx0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNHeHXVT2Vg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edMBGJoEIN8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhQz-0QVmQ0
i’m sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIDuh9Z_RWc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrARl0dzd-0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEidbkibsiE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_IWlPHMziU
Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fPf6L0XNvM
Triple shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUXMzkh-jI
Oh man I realize I could have just restricted things to only AC/DC songs about rock and we’d still have enough for a full-sized playlist.
I will stop at 3. This will be an awesome playlist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGfKi6kpdTQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFez84xaR6Q
DOUBLE SHOT OF CRADLE ROCK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCz4CNTLA2s
“That’s great!!”
–Roy Moore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SzrxMNBE2g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoaAb5MnKtY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tJYN-eG1zk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZq3i94mSsQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RxBHRZpIdg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoGHGaN_HQs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-ptLktOjrY
– Eli Manning, when asked by Olivia if he’d like a souvenir from his trip to the National Geology Museum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57nPAqBPGPE
If we double up, it will make it the length of a song from most artists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnzzMZWsx9w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OBs6S1lW_Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BDBzgHXf64
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOSDrT_eDhk
Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXHmWXPwol0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C21PrOKRG8w
MORE HEADS ROLLING.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wix1ofbArYc
THIS GUY TWBS I CALL HIM KING JOFFREY CAUSE HE’S MAKING HEADS ROLL UP IN HERE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auzfTPp4moA
Required:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCN6eRVav5k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXzWlPL_TKw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND7sPNwWko