Local mom and pop restaurants win, your toilet takes one for the team. The above pic is the result of a search for ‘crab chili’ which looks exactly like I had envisioned it. Me? I’m staying away from the spread and betting the over on the prop bet of 2.5 Extra-Strength Zantac’s. There’s never been easier money, folks.

Both these teams are undefeated and impressively so. (even though the Bills and Colts were involved, smh) No team’s future success can be measured by a week 1 result, BUT! Week 2? Teams that win in the second week have a 79% chance of getting to the Super Bowl. The teams that do get there are a staggering 68-15 in the season’s final game. Made-up numbers don’t lie, citizens. How will this tilt turn out? In order to suss that we must go, TO THE GAME!

Bally/Cincy:

The Ravens re-vamped their wr spots and brought in Crabtree, Brown and Snead IV. And don’t you know, each of them scored a TD during the eviscerating of the Bills. Kudos to you, GM of the Ravens whose name I’m too lazy to look up! Speaking of wr’s having a heyday, AJ Green has had Baltimore’s breakfast, lunch, dinner and drank their milkshake over the years. Anyone recall his 10 catch, 227 yards outing back in 2015? If qb Dalton gets even a sniff of mention for the Bengalis ‘Ring of Honor’ or whatever they call it (Brown Stain of Excellence? Barely Up to Par Whirlygig sponsored by Les Nessman?) he’ll have to carry Green in on his shoulders during the ceremony in order to yang the yin of Green carrying him for so many years. LAMAR! did some mopping up last week and the rumorfying going on is that he’ll have a special package delivered to Cincy tonight. We shall see.

Let’s make this the most special Thursday night of the year.