There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!

Niners/Chiefs:

Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.

Cincy/Car:

Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?

Bills/Vikes:

Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.

Den/Bal:

The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?

Ind/Phi:

Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!

NYG/Hou:

Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.

Pack/’Dacted’s:

The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.

Oak/Mia:

Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.

Ten/Jax:

This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.

NO/Atl:

There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)

YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.