Your “And Then There Were Just Three” Late NFL Games Open Thread

After the ten game ‘splosion of earlier today we have but three ‘options’ (depending on where you are living) this afternoon. I’m not a fan of this illusion of choice. (h/t, George Carlin) TO THE GAMES!

Chargers/Rammers:

The Battle of Los Angeles (or The Great Los Angeles Air Raid) was started by a very provocative (wait for it) weather balloon that had ill intentions towards the denizens of the heretofore mentioned city. It might have been aliens. Thank gawd there were some trigger-happy artillery folks that told that alien balloon that ‘these colors don’t run’. Perhaps history can repeat itself in this here encounter by qb’s Goff and Rivers throwing all kinds of projectiles at opposing defenses. Yeah, I need wr Cook to put up some points-what of it?

Bears/Cards:

Which Khalil Mack will show up for this game? Is it going to be the unblockable maniac that collapses pockets at will? Or will it be the unholy terror that single-handedly changes the Cards offensive game plan? Which Truth Biscuit will decide to play? The one that under/over-throws his open wr’s? Or will it be the fella that misreads the D on a regular basis?

Cowboys/Seahawks:

This here is the “Stop laughing-We’re Still Relevant, Dammit!” Bowl which is sponsored by the good folks at Blackberry and Kodak. DAK! had a temporary reprieve from the boo-birds courtesy of a porous Giants D last week. Will a headed-south-in-the-standings Seattle team stand up and be counted?

Let’s do that thing that we like to do. Ewwww, not that!

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King Hippo

I got the spread up to +322 before I bet it.

Wakezilla

Stillers shopping Bell around. Early reports are calling him a rental player, but, wouldn’t Bell not report to the new team if he’s just a rental player?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG
Wakezilla

That’s gotta hoyt!

Senor Weaselo

Also Gruden: “It’s hard to find a good pass rusher.”

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

A new show where Americans are in trouble because of somebody who might not be qualified to do their job? Is this “The Residents” or “The President”? Am I right folks?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Mitch is a 1st place quarterback

Spur
Spur

Let’s all come together and root for Brady’s decapitation.

blaxabbath

And also with you.

Doktor Zymm

I’m really rooting for a slow and painful decline ending with the team and entire NE area rejecting him

Senor Weaselo

I’m much more a Dementor’s Kiss kinda person…
/Whaddaya mean they don’t exist?
//Whaddaya mean Brady has no soul—actually that makes sense.

Brocky
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s a smart defensive call by the Bears.

blaxabbath

Rosen doesn’t seem too upset. This is probably a good thing; he understands the odds he walked in to.

Still, if someone else doesn’t bring this up on the Cardinal Talk post-game show, I’m gonna call up myself and get the hysteria going.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

not sure why you would call a blitz on a hail mary play with mack on the edge, but aw fuck it

Doktor Zymm

Is beating the Cardinals by 2 really something to be proud of?

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

in the context of they only bothered to play 2 quarters….SORTA

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Repeat after me: 8-8. 8-8. 8-8

Brocky

Yes.

I’m tired of this bullshit “Chicago isn’t allowed to be proud of anything” narrative

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prediction: bullshit personal foul roughing call moves Cardinals into field goal range.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You shut your whore mouth

Brocky

….how do I delete someone else’s comment…

yeah right

Congrats Tiger.
Welcome back.

Spur
Spur

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rosen needs to turn into Aaron Rodgers for just this one play.

King Hippo

They don’t have to put in someone else, HODOR!

King Hippo

He at least has the arm to reach the end zone.

blaxabbath

No way Mack gives Rosen even time for this Hail Mary to develop.

King Hippo

you called it

blaxabbath

Breadfort watches his career end to the scramble of a GLOBALIST!

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

niners trade for him, just watch

Brocky

Damn it

King Hippo

Two plays, kid.

Spur
Spur

Dak sucks. Just say it Troy.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

like I said earlier, wasn’t worried too much because cards always come up clutch and fuck the dog

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hope it’s not too late for Rosen to atone for that throw

King Hippo

Nope! Time to see just how Chosen!!

Spur
Spur

Chiefs and Rams Superbowl is too GREAT to happen.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

thx, cards…as usual

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Good night Pokes!

King Hippo

Crazy Eyez with his best Mean Girlz face on the sidelines

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What about Cade McNown?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Cursed post

Spur
Spur

Seriously, get Earl Thomas on the Cowboys jet home. I’m sure Double J can pull some strings and give Pete Carroll a visit to the Area 51.

blaxabbath

Rosen Time!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Folks, I’ve drinks

King Hippo

who said stop?

Doktor Zymm

That was neat!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sober. Boo.

Gratliff

Knew those tip ups were coming back to haunt Dak

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

EARL FUCKING THOMAS FOLKS!

King Hippo

Announcer: Baptism by fire

Me: Anti-Semite!!!

Spur
Spur

weak roughing call on Seattle

Spur
Spur

Cowboys grow balls and go for it on 4th down

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

Taco Update:

Pork fell apart after 50 minutes in instapot. Pulled it aside and let the remaining liquid reduce for another 20 minutes
Bit the bullet and ran out for tortillas and cilantro. Combined reduction into bowl with pork. Forbade wife from using salsa. Everything worked out well

Lessons Learned:

Instapot makes great pulled pork
I should use blender more often for marinades and sauces
Corn tortillas only taste better at fancy restaurants. Should have gone with flour.

9/10. Good job team. You all deserve credit for this too.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

My pleasure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s an almost Sukkot miracle! Josh Rosen into the game.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

GO FOR IT, PUSSIES!

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