Your “I Don’t Miss The Electric Company” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!

Niners/Chiefs:

Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.

Cincy/Car:

Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?

Bills/Vikes:

Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.

Den/Bal:

The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?

Ind/Phi:

Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!

NYG/Hou:

Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.

Pack/’Dacted’s:

The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.

Oak/Mia:

Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.

Ten/Jax:

This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.

NO/Atl:

There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)

YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.

 

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Redshirt

We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie!

Sharkbait

Time to make chili. Catch you the the late game

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

The fuck the Packers still have Rodgers in

King Hippo

That is borderline criminal, agreed

Fronkenshteen

Another losing pick.

Gratliff

Wait, was that not Hodor? Jeeeeeeeesus, talk radio is gonna be a problem

King Hippo

Even under normal circumstances, that’s a LONG Hail Mary, and Jacoby has a cannon.

Fronkenshteen

Hate to say it, but nice commentary by Cris Carter there.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Still doesn’t make up for last season of the xfiles

Fronkenshteen

Tough, but fair.

Gratliff

Drew Brees made that turn like a freighter. Fucking terrible defense.

Spur
Spur

Really?? You dont wrap up Brees?

King Hippo

Breesus CHRIST!!

Gratliff

Man, Drew Brees is like 75. Shame on you, Derpy Birds.

Fronkenshteen

Ooh. I’d love one more meaningless FG from Gould.
Also, here’s to Pussymouth. Still quite effective. Probably the best recovery from a ruptured Achilles in modern NFL history.

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

Dalton hurrying to the line to spike it with 3 seconds down by 10

Gratliff

So didn’t they used to not go to commercials on 2 minute and under TO’s? This is fucking ridiculous.

Sharkbait

Make it Michael Thomas!

Fronkenshteen

You I don’t like

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Makie is a Philip Michael Thomas

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

Luck 34 attempts to reach fuckin only 129 yards passing

litre_cola

I scared my son yelling at the Eagle D. Toughen up kid and get used to it.

Fronkenshteen

Just not Thomas, god. Let me get out of this game alive.

King Hippo

I finally looked at my survivor pool, slew of ded Minny, but one JAX (also ded), one KC (likely fine), and one Bearistocrats!

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

a fuck you for runnin that dumb fade, fat humps

Sharkbait

Not a good fantasy day.

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

Whelp

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Sad Hodor

Gratliff

Never doubted them for a minute

Gratliff

DO EEEET

Gratliff

THEY DEED EET

Gratliff

lolfade

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Nice 3584 days since last gruden win graphic

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Janeane Garofalo is ded.

King Hippo

She was still SO BRAVE guys

litre_cola

So much time left in Saints Falcons.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

only the jags can beat new england one week and lose a 9-6 shitfest against the tits the next week

LemonJello
LemonJello

Bortles’ brave band bumbles battle? Bummer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In the red zone with under three minutes left to play and a chance to take the lead? Interception and a long touchdown run!

THAT’S MY FUCKING RAIDERS!

Sharkbait

3-0 Fins? I don’t like this reality

Gratliff

Why is the Eagles-Colts game not on RedZone? It seems like they’re extra bad at picking plays this year

litre_cola

Was just thinking the same thing.

Fronkenshteen

Raiders spit the bit.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Middle of play high five nice fins

King Hippo

Do the Raiders play the Saints? They SHOULD.

Gratliff

Holy shit. 9-6. Who watched that dogshit?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

You know, for being the really nice asshole I am, I really hate losing.
And now I have to depend on Brady and AB to pull me out of this pathetic loss.

/drinks more

litre_cola

OK Saints, fucking do this!!!

Redshirt

Will someone please shoot John Ross and put him out of my misery? The Bengals Color Commentator may do it based on the tone of his voice.

King Hippo

We have GrudenFACE!!

Spur
Spur

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Emo Carr sucks as much as his brother.

litre_cola

What the fuck Philly? Maybe cover someone????

Gratliff

I want Chucky fired by the bye

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Not until he blows the Khalil pick on a Notre Dame qb and an order of chicken wings

Spur
Spur

those Fat Humps are crafty.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH lives in Pennsylvania

Spur
Spur

Did Fin on the field. The Raider Running back trucked him

Gratliff

Sports stat guys are starting to say the Vikes cratering defies known sports science. This makes me very happy.

Spur
Spur

Nice of Matt Ryan to not move out the way of his tackler.