There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!
Niners/Chiefs:
Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.
Cincy/Car:
Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?
Bills/Vikes:
Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.
Den/Bal:
The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?
Ind/Phi:
Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!
NYG/Hou:
Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.
Pack/’Dacted’s:
The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.
Oak/Mia:
Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.
Ten/Jax:
This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.
NO/Atl:
There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)
YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.
We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie! We-want-a-tie!
Time to make chili. Catch you the the late game
The fuck the Packers still have Rodgers in
That is borderline criminal, agreed
Another losing pick.
Wait, was that not Hodor? Jeeeeeeeesus, talk radio is gonna be a problem
Even under normal circumstances, that’s a LONG Hail Mary, and Jacoby has a cannon.
Hate to say it, but nice commentary by Cris Carter there.
Still doesn’t make up for last season of the xfiles
Tough, but fair.
Drew Brees made that turn like a freighter. Fucking terrible defense.
Really?? You dont wrap up Brees?
Breesus CHRIST!!
Man, Drew Brees is like 75. Shame on you, Derpy Birds.
Ooh. I’d love one more meaningless FG from Gould.
Also, here’s to Pussymouth. Still quite effective. Probably the best recovery from a ruptured Achilles in modern NFL history.
Dalton hurrying to the line to spike it with 3 seconds down by 10
So didn’t they used to not go to commercials on 2 minute and under TO’s? This is fucking ridiculous.
Make it Michael Thomas!
You I don’t like
Makie is a Philip Michael Thomas
Luck 34 attempts to reach fuckin only 129 yards passing
I scared my son yelling at the Eagle D. Toughen up kid and get used to it.
Just not Thomas, god. Let me get out of this game alive.
I finally looked at my survivor pool, slew of ded Minny, but one JAX (also ded), one KC (likely fine), and one Bearistocrats!
a fuck you for runnin that dumb fade, fat humps
Not a good fantasy day.
Whelp
Sad Hodor
Never doubted them for a minute
DO EEEET
THEY DEED EET
lolfade
Nice 3584 days since last gruden win graphic
Janeane Garofalo is ded.
She was still SO BRAVE guys
So much time left in Saints Falcons.
Enough for Ridley to get another? Whooooo!!!
only the jags can beat new england one week and lose a 9-6 shitfest against the tits the next week
Bortles’ brave band bumbles battle? Bummer.
In the red zone with under three minutes left to play and a chance to take the lead? Interception and a long touchdown run!
THAT’S MY FUCKING RAIDERS!
T’udder thread is a go.
3-0 Fins? I don’t like this reality
Why is the Eagles-Colts game not on RedZone? It seems like they’re extra bad at picking plays this year
Was just thinking the same thing.
Raiders spit the bit.
Middle of play high five nice fins
Do the Raiders play the Saints? They SHOULD.
Holy shit. 9-6. Who watched that dogshit?
You know, for being the really nice asshole I am, I really hate losing.
And now I have to depend on Brady and AB to pull me out of this pathetic loss.
/drinks more
OK Saints, fucking do this!!!
Will someone please shoot John Ross and put him out of my misery? The Bengals Color Commentator may do it based on the tone of his voice.
We have GrudenFACE!!
Emo Carr sucks as much as his brother.
What the fuck Philly? Maybe cover someone????
I want Chucky fired by the bye
Not until he blows the Khalil pick on a Notre Dame qb and an order of chicken wings
those Fat Humps are crafty.
BLEERGH lives in Pennsylvania
Did Fin on the field. The Raider Running back trucked him
Sports stat guys are starting to say the Vikes cratering defies known sports science. This makes me very happy.
Nice of Matt Ryan to not move out the way of his tackler.