Your “There Is Only One Game Today” Sunday Morning/Early Afternoon Multi-Purpose Post

Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!

Den/NYJ:

This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.

Mia/Cin:

Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.

Atl/Pitt:

The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.

NYG/Car:

I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.

Jax/KC:

Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.

GB/Det:

The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.

Bal/Cle:

I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.

Ten/Buf:

If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.

Go Man City!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
745 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
...

Just heard “holding in the end zone” during the Browns-Ravens tiefest and I would have taken that result over a tie for the lol

King Hippo

11-9 HAS TO BE a scorigami

...

An 11-9 final score would also be a Scorigami so we really should have been rooting for that result all along

fleshwound_NPG

“But it didn’t happen.”

– Pete Carrol

...

I’d have probably screamed “BUSH DID IT”

LemonJello

How drunk is Boss Todd making that call deep in their own territory?

King Hippo

JESUS. Just get one first down, somehow, and take your point.

Senor Weaselo

Cleveland will be burning as a result of that no-call. Well, more than usual.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gatoraids

Gah no tie watch. Instead sentenced to Buck world

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

“HIT ME MOTHERFUCKER! PAY MY LOANS!”

LemonJello

Is there a secret codicil to the rules that states “Fuck #thePauls at some point in every game”?

Col. Duke LaCross

Oh wow.

fleshwound_NPG
King Hippo

Just charge the field. DISCO DEMOLITION NIGHT THIS MOFO!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mother Puncher

it’s Cleveland. 10 cent beer night this mofo

Redshirt

OH FUCK YOU EYE CHANNEL!

fleshwound_NPG

Here comes the beer bottles!

Mother Puncher

Can somebody gif Hue saying “just go for it”?

Redshirt

Oh, bless you BLEERGH.

King Hippo

WOW. That is some shit there.

Mr. Ayo

#ThePauls strike again

Redshirt

Baker punt?

Petronel

OK, Brownz kickers (both sides) – your punk card has just been called.

King Hippo

#ThePauls should punt

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

We need a sack here. This is too close.

King Hippo

Gano got me 24 points today.

Mr. Ayo

Et tu, Crosby?

The Maestro

Holy SHIT, Graham Gano.

Senor Weaselo

Wow, that’s good from, well at least 65 which would be the record.

Redshirt

Come on, teams. A ties not bad. No one loses. No one feels bad.

The Maestro

*Pounds clipboard* TIE. TIE. TIE.

*Other Commentists join in* TIE. TIE. TIE.

LemonJello

/whole clubhouse shakes

TIE! TIE! TIE!

Mr. Ayo

lol Gigantes

King Hippo

HOLY MERDE HE MADE IT ANYWAY

King Hippo

why would CAR not do a 4-yard quick out, at least?

LemonJello

Don’t savor the no-fat, wintergreen ice milk just yet, Flaccid…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

Crosby celebrates and tears his ACL.

fleshwound_NPG

Punt time! Tie inbound!

King Hippo

after some checkdowns to Njoku

King Hippo

McCaffrey sucks

blaxabbath

Commentators discussing Matt Patricia’s pencils.

Exhibit 1,000,000 that NFL games are too long.

Redshirt

I misread that first line.

Redshirt

No grounding?! Direction isn’t “on the same field”.

King Hippo

It’s still #ThePauls

LemonJello

LAMAR! time? Nope, just one play.

Redshirt

BLEERGH wants a tie too.

King Hippo

Huzzah BLEERGH!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

Saquan scores TD. Saquan ded.

Redshirt

The mob warned him not to score.

Redshirt

The Safety Gods demand a sacrifice!

LemonJello

comment image

Mother Puncher

Browns punter is fucking pumped

King Hippo

Marquez Valdes-Scantling’s 16.3 was a whopping 2.1 points MOAR than AJ Green would have pocketed. But the smug? Oh, that will carry me well into Tuesday.

Senor Weaselo

Keenumception… Maye he get there? Nope! 103 yards, down at the 1 to end the game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Cortland Sutton – thank you for having some motherfucking pride.

King Hippo

Moose – I admit to not being wild about the pick at the time, but I like how he plays. He does seem to have that intangible “it” factor that a lot of our current crop do not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Saying how picks will turn out is an exercise in futility.

King Hippo

There is much truth to that. One still must TRY, I think, but acknowledge the wide error bars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can; one watches a few college games and teams have scouting departments. I guess why bother.

Senor Weaselo

It is not the longest nonscoring play in NFL history, that’s Percy Harvin taking a kickoff back 104 yards for not a touchdown.

Redshirt

That answers my first question: if time runs out on the first team getting the ball: TIE

Now all I need to know is what happens if time runs out on the second team getting the ball if the first team kicked a field goal. Does the drive continue untimed or does it end with the 1st team getting the win.

Scenario: Browns kick a field goal at 0:12 left in OT. Now what?

Spanky Datass

1.33% chance of a Scorigami in Land of Cleve!

fleshwound_NPG

what would be the scorigami?

Spanky Datass

9 — 9 tie.

Spanky Datass

Or 11 — 9!

Spanky Datass

Oh shit, it just went up to 15.08 %!

Redshirt

Now its 26.26%, What would it be? 15-9? 12-9? 11-9?

Redshirt

Touchdown or Safety or Tie. Maybe, graph is confusing.

Spanky Datass

9 – 9 tie is the Scorigami I’m seein’..

Spanky Datass

11 — 9 too!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Just don’t give up a defensing TD, Elisha. You Rain Man chucklefuck.

Petronel

Ten more minutes of derp? We can only hope.

King Hippo

12-12! The GAWDS demand it.

fleshwound_NPG

if there was no ot in the regular season, cleveland would be 1-1-3

Gratliff

Rodgers is gonna do the fucking baseball scene from Untouchables after the game

Redshirt

Adrestia demands a tie!

Sharkbait

TIE! TIE! TIE!

Dolph Ucker

I know he’s a cancer saint, but Spielman sucks as a color guy. I am stupider for having listened to him.