Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!
Den/NYJ:
This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.
Mia/Cin:
Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.
Atl/Pitt:
The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.
NYG/Car:
I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.
Jax/KC:
Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.
GB/Det:
The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.
Bal/Cle:
I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.
Ten/Buf:
If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.
Go Man City!
Just heard “holding in the end zone” during the Browns-Ravens tiefest and I would have taken that result over a tie for the lol
11-9 HAS TO BE a scorigami
An 11-9 final score would also be a Scorigami so we really should have been rooting for that result all along
“But it didn’t happen.”
– Pete Carrol
I’d have probably screamed “BUSH DID IT”
How drunk is Boss Todd making that call deep in their own territory?
JESUS. Just get one first down, somehow, and take your point.
Cleveland will be burning as a result of that no-call. Well, more than usual.
Gah no tie watch. Instead sentenced to Buck world
“HIT ME MOTHERFUCKER! PAY MY LOANS!”
Is there a secret codicil to the rules that states “Fuck #thePauls at some point in every game”?
Oh wow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-teMkx2vgA
Just charge the field. DISCO DEMOLITION NIGHT THIS MOFO!
it’s Cleveland. 10 cent beer night this mofo
OH FUCK YOU EYE CHANNEL!
Here comes the beer bottles!
Can somebody gif Hue saying “just go for it”?
Oh, bless you BLEERGH.
WOW. That is some shit there.
#ThePauls strike again
Baker punt?
OK, Brownz kickers (both sides) – your punk card has just been called.
#ThePauls should punt
We need a sack here. This is too close.
Gano got me 24 points today.
Et tu, Crosby?
Holy SHIT, Graham Gano.
Wow, that’s good from, well at least 65 which would be the record.
Come on, teams. A ties not bad. No one loses. No one feels bad.
*Pounds clipboard* TIE. TIE. TIE.
*Other Commentists join in* TIE. TIE. TIE.
/whole clubhouse shakes
TIE! TIE! TIE!
lol Gigantes
HOLY MERDE HE MADE IT ANYWAY
why would CAR not do a 4-yard quick out, at least?
Don’t savor the no-fat, wintergreen ice milk just yet, Flaccid…
Crosby celebrates and tears his ACL.
Punt time! Tie inbound!
after some checkdowns to Njoku
McCaffrey sucks
Commentators discussing Matt Patricia’s pencils.
Exhibit 1,000,000 that NFL games are too long.
I misread that first line.
No grounding?! Direction isn’t “on the same field”.
It’s still #ThePauls
LAMAR! time? Nope, just one play.
BLEERGH wants a tie too.
Huzzah BLEERGH!!!
Saquan scores TD. Saquan ded.
The mob warned him not to score.
The Safety Gods demand a sacrifice!
Browns punter is fucking pumped
Marquez Valdes-Scantling’s 16.3 was a whopping 2.1 points MOAR than AJ Green would have pocketed. But the smug? Oh, that will carry me well into Tuesday.
Keenumception… Maye he get there? Nope! 103 yards, down at the 1 to end the game.
Cortland Sutton – thank you for having some motherfucking pride.
Moose – I admit to not being wild about the pick at the time, but I like how he plays. He does seem to have that intangible “it” factor that a lot of our current crop do not.
Saying how picks will turn out is an exercise in futility.
There is much truth to that. One still must TRY, I think, but acknowledge the wide error bars.
You can; one watches a few college games and teams have scouting departments. I guess why bother.
It is not the longest nonscoring play in NFL history, that’s Percy Harvin taking a kickoff back 104 yards for not a touchdown.
That answers my first question: if time runs out on the first team getting the ball: TIE
Now all I need to know is what happens if time runs out on the second team getting the ball if the first team kicked a field goal. Does the drive continue untimed or does it end with the 1st team getting the win.
Scenario: Browns kick a field goal at 0:12 left in OT. Now what?
1.33% chance of a Scorigami in Land of Cleve!
what would be the scorigami?
9 — 9 tie.
Or 11 — 9!
Oh shit, it just went up to 15.08 %!
Now its 26.26%, What would it be? 15-9? 12-9? 11-9?
Touchdown or Safety or Tie. Maybe, graph is confusing.
9 – 9 tie is the Scorigami I’m seein’..
11 — 9 too!
Just don’t give up a defensing TD, Elisha. You Rain Man chucklefuck.
Ten more minutes of derp? We can only hope.
12-12! The GAWDS demand it.
if there was no ot in the regular season, cleveland would be 1-1-3
Rodgers is gonna do the fucking baseball scene from Untouchables after the game
Adrestia demands a tie!
TIE! TIE! TIE!
I know he’s a cancer saint, but Spielman sucks as a color guy. I am stupider for having listened to him.