Your “I Didn’t Say ‘Dude!’ I Said ‘Dud'” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

It was a fairly good run, wasn’t it? “The Curse of Thursday Night Football” that had descended last year had lost its way for most of 2018. Well, it’s back and it’s taking no prisoners tonight. So shutter your windows, bar the doors and maybe explore other entertainment options. There’s the NHL (It’s the Penguins vs. the Leafs, co-starring a bathtub full of announcer’s saliva!), the NBA (Lebron, he’s a Laker!) and the MLB (Will the Sawkz close out?). NCAA Football (A bunch of states play each other with Stanford thrown in) Hmmm. Somehow I think I’ll end up watching the travesty unfold in Arizona. TO THE GAME!

Broncos/Cards:

These squadoos each have no fear that the phrase ‘playoff contention’ will be linked with them in a serious way this season. It’s full ahead at all possible speed on the rails of mediocrity for these two. There’s a few fellas that might not around for the full ride though. Internet noise says that Arizona OC Mike McCoy (who, in his long and glorious career has never had a top 15 rushing attack, ever) is a distant memory by tomorrow afternoon. Not to be outdone, the buzz surrounding Denver insists that Vance Joseph is walking a tightrope and will be soon taking a fall. Surprisingly, the Cards signing of Kendall Wright-the goal of which was to shore up a very poor passing game-is all for naught just two weeks into his reign. He gone. This is the sort of fallout that occurs when teams have but 3 wins in a combined 12 tries.

Do your best.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How much do you want to bet Bill Bidwill didn’t even care about Rosen as a quarterback and just drafted him because he thought Rosen could help him do his taxes.

WCS

I’d take that bet.

blaxabbath

Bidwill is such a fucking inept NFL owner that he probably thought Rosen was a natural fullback and that he was a steal at 10.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

100%

King Hippo

Think I am winning the internet argument I had this week about being happy Donks got they Chubb on over Rosen…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Goddamn anti-circumcision intactivists.

Spur
Spur
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sans title music
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Redshirt

Denver is on pace to win this game 420-0.

WCS

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What percentage of fantasy teams do you think have someone playing in tonight’s game? 8%?

ballsofsteelandfury

I do. Then again, i’m an idiot.

blaxabbath

I’d play the DEN D if I was on a bye.

Spur
Spur

Col. Duke LaCross

Evil Dave ruled!

blaxabbath

Goddamn I thought kickoff was 5:30 — so three mins before game time and Denver was up 7-0 actually seemed sensible.

Spur
Spur

that might be all the points the Donkeys need.

Spur
Spur

Good Job Foreskin.

Keep the balls high ok?

King Hippo

favourite version of cool-ass intro song:

Redshirt

Welp.

WCS

Sweet mother of fuck, the Cardinals blow.

King Hippo

not like blax ain’t tell us

WCS

At least got Sean Miller and the Wildcats to…. oh, wait…

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

You know a game is gonna be great when they show a graphic of Sad Larry Fitzgerald™ within the first five minutes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Cardinals? What game are you…oh, right, there’s a “football” game on tonight, too.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Odd. Usually the cardinals make the altar boys blow.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

minute touchdown this game going places

Gratliff

Oh cards

King Hippo

who has two thumbs and the Donks D/ST on his bench??

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I stared at them for five minutes yesterday before deciding to stick with the Dolphins D. Stafford is due for a pick-six too right?

King Hippo

It’s always fun to laugh at the fat guy, so hope so!

/at least I cut the Bungles as my 2nd defense for Donks yesterday, just left Shitty Clippers as starters for week (home v. Tits)

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Quality timeout usage.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Quality play from Rosen.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Best part of this time of year: Big games every night
Worst part of this time of year: Joe Buck every night

Redshirt
King Hippo

Tonite’s intro music was TV On the Radio’s “Wolf Like Me” which should be good luck for Bradley Chubb!!

WCS

Also, fuck the Red Sox.

Spur
Spur

Wolf Like Me

King Hippo

was just typing about that, tis a personal Hippo favourite

Gratliff

Today feels like one of those days that exist only to make me wait for next Fridaycomment image

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

got soul calibur VI coming out to hold me over

Spur
Spur

I thought you hated Cowboys?

Gratliff

Which is why I’ll be shooting so many in the dick.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Spur
Spur

I’m going to have to drink to watch this crap.

King Hippo

damn straight u r

Sunday has glorious 9:30 am fixture, so PREPARE YOUR ANUS!!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

most games have had 40K+ watching on twitch this one has 4.5k so far

Spur
Spur

it’s an acquired taste/addiction

Gratliff

One day, Larry Fitzgerald is gonna leave this world, and he’ll lead the Cardinals in receiving for the next 3 years, still without a ring.

King Hippo

Mike McCoy is living proof that white males NEVAR run out of chances.

Gratliff

Captain Pickard officially sucking a dick in Columbus

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Has Bradshaw bloused his pants cuffs? Jebus, what an asshole.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

This man has come on Kate Upton’s ass. Multiple times.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That big-titted gal is dumb as a box of rocks.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And her uncle is an arch-Teabagger asshole congressman. So the chances of Justin becoming the governor of Michigan one day are >0

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

One of the greatest comebacks of all times.

h

ttps://i.pixxxels.cc/SsQPjSTn/Kate-Upton-Leaked-Fappening-New-58-thefappening-us.jpg

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Semi-related

King Hippo

Vance Joseph looks as if he is perpetually smelling a fart, but doesn’t particularly mind.

Gratliff

Apparently the Blue Jackets only score beautiful goals

Spur
Spur

Folks

Gratliff

I have the TNF muted and as I’m looking at my laptop, my eyes are drawn up to the horror that is those fucking cowboy boots

King Hippo

I seriously hate Terry Bradshaw even MOAR than I hate myself. And I wouldn’t say that lightly.

Gratliff

This is a boring, pedestrian goal and I won’t be told otherwise
https://deadspin.com/anthony-duclair-eats-shit-gets-up-scores-amazing-goal-1829854770

King Hippo

It’s almost like two bunches of bottom feeders with no rivalry bona fides give a tin shit about Von saying something as tame as “we’re gonna kick their asses.” It’s not like he promised to skullfuck their mothers afterwards.

litre_cola

Inlaws and my mother are here. At least they brought wine!

King Hippo

I should volunteer to host a holiday gathering, but only if the family brings opiates. Because I am not whispered about enough, see.

Gratliff

Fuck’s sake, more Buck and Troy

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

short of a surgeon general’s warning not much else they can do to stop you watching this game

WCS

Lil’ WCS chose to watch Frozen over this game. She’s only two, but, she’s correct. I don’t like this movie.

Redshirt

Here’s a related website you can read while LWCS and Anna try to stop Winter.

http://www.clevver.com/frozen-inappropriate-memes-sexual-gifs-pictures-jokes/

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wouldn’t spit-roasted be more appropriate?
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King Hippo

Balls on the Fantasy Table, Round 2:

I am currently benching Hopkins (banged up, QB also hurt, awful matchup at JAX with their shutdown corner and pass rush) for Taylor Gabriel (shootout potential at home v. NE, who struggled v. very similar Tyreek Hill last week).

ballsofsteelandfury

Since when am I a Bills fan?

ballsofsteelandfury

Our best will be better than both of these teams combined.

Redshirt

“You pull a golf club out of a Scotsman’s hand, you best be prepared to knock him out with it!”

That’s a line I never expected to hear from DuckTales.

Redshirt

Also Tara Strong and Andrea Libman in full “Twilight Sparkle” and “Fluttershy” voices as purple and pink ponies trying to trick people into the water so they can drown them.

This is a twisted episode.

King Hippo

it’s important to pull in the BDSM demographic ,, ppl forget that

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Scrooge McDuck was a badass. The collected hardcover comics are incredible. Among the apex of all-ages comics along with Bone and a couple others I can’t remember offhand.

blaxabbath

No mention of Von Miller’s “bulletin board material”?

This game will suck and I’m glad I’m already home to avoid the TNF/ASU rush hour gridlock. Also, Rosen better be smart enough to lose this one. Two wins may be too much if they expect to hold off OAK for the top draft pick (which Steve Keim will trade for a bottle of hootch and a NCSU steering wheel cover).

King Hippo

why get the #1? Y’all can’t pick Ryan Finley with Chosen Rosen already in the Promised Land.

Redshirt

Just once I want to go to a televised CNN Town Hall and go, “I’m not part of the audience. I’m lost and I’m from out of town. Can you give me directions to the expressway?” just to see if the candidate will go on autopilot and go “Thank you for being here and thanks for being brave enough to share your story.”

WCS

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. My opponent does not understand why good folks like you get lost, and will continue that agenda if elected. It’s easy to see why a vote for my opponent would keep you from getting home.”

Col. Duke LaCross

Gratliff

Just heard this one and it’s considerably better than Sham Pain, which was easily 5FDP’s worst single to date.

Gratliff

For purposes of comparison, their previous single:

Redshirt

Latest Proof of the Decline of Western Civilization:

I was in the drive thru at McDonalds where there was one lane that had a cone in the middle of it. A driver showed up and rather than wait three cars in line, he drove around the cone nearly jumping the curb and hitting the other lane’s sign. He then got into an argument with the Order Taker when they refused to take their order from a closed lane.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

We have become a nation of Veruca Salts, except the trap door no longer works now that we’ve gotten too fat to fit through it.

Gratliff

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Gratliff

Realizing this doesn’t make alot of sense without his entrance theme

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Wild Horses” started playing in my head seeing this.

King Hippo

D-O-N-K-S!!!

/win, but let David Johnson get untracked, please

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