Your “I Didn’t Say ‘Dude!’ I Said ‘Dud'” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

It was a fairly good run, wasn’t it? “The Curse of Thursday Night Football” that had descended last year had lost its way for most of 2018. Well, it’s back and it’s taking no prisoners tonight. So shutter your windows, bar the doors and maybe explore other entertainment options. There’s the NHL (It’s the Penguins vs. the Leafs, co-starring a bathtub full of announcer’s saliva!), the NBA (Lebron, he’s a Laker!) and the MLB (Will the Sawkz close out?). NCAA Football (A bunch of states play each other with Stanford thrown in) Hmmm. Somehow I think I’ll end up watching the travesty unfold in Arizona. TO THE GAME!

Broncos/Cards:

These squadoos each have no fear that the phrase ‘playoff contention’ will be linked with them in a serious way this season. It’s full ahead at all possible speed on the rails of mediocrity for these two. There’s a few fellas that might not around for the full ride though. Internet noise says that Arizona OC Mike McCoy (who, in his long and glorious career has never had a top 15 rushing attack, ever) is a distant memory by tomorrow afternoon. Not to be outdone, the buzz surrounding Denver insists that Vance Joseph is walking a tightrope and will be soon taking a fall. Surprisingly, the Cards signing of Kendall Wright-the goal of which was to shore up a very poor passing game-is all for naught just two weeks into his reign. He gone. This is the sort of fallout that occurs when teams have but 3 wins in a combined 12 tries.

Do your best.

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Spur
Spur

now Freeman gives a shit about scoring TDs. What an asshole,

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay I’ve been insisting that the Raiders are the worst team in the NFL but they have got nothing on the Arizona Cardinals.

blaxabbath

No way this team beats the 2017 Browns.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Usually when a black guy drives that fast through Arizona, they ask for your papers!

King Hippo

35-3. Just lovely!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Cross dressing Charlie makes total sense.

King Hippo

he identifies as a woman…when he poops

Gratliff

No one is this bad at anything

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people, I’m on I-95, Padre Weaselo’s driving my car because after looking for parking for 40 minutes this morning I almost went crazy. Approximately Senorita Weaselo got a recap of it and hasn’t told me to stay away just yet, so I’m doing okay. Anything interesting happen?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Lenny Dykstra’s going to be living with Buddy soon! Now to hide the copper buttplugs…

Redshirt

Gratliff

He should’ve just stuck with car washes. Fucking putz. comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Buddy’s shack out back is its own republic!

Col. Duke LaCross

How’s the slot? 90-degrees?

Spur
Spur

hit’em with the hine

Col. Duke LaCross

Hello Robin…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

HOO HOO KRISTIN

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

THIS GAME I CALL IT A TRAVELING DONKEY SHOW BECAUSE THESE HORSES ARE GIVING IT HARD TO ARIZONIANS

King Hippo

about time Buddy had the banner back…

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Also Tide ads are becoming a new cancer.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dilly dilly!

Spur
Spur

Pete Carroll tried to tell us.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Idea for a rule change: Each team gets 5 punts per game that they can use like timeouts. Once they run out then they have to go for it. There would be even more fun scoring on botched field position, Andy Reid would have another thing on his plate to mismanage, and we’d get to see the occasional shitty team make a rare gritty comeback instead of just punting fifty times in a game.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Limit it to 4 and I’m in.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Fuck it, let’s make it 3. Even good teams will have to go for it then.

Romonobyl

I’m still in favor of some sort of ten run rule.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How about a catch that the punts cannot be returned (nor fair caught). That way you’d get to see some 80 yard punts and stuff.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also that would mean you’d see more fake punts and quick kicks.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I see nothing wrong with this.

King Hippo

Deep slant to Sanders after the break!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Damn …
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Romonobyl

There’s a far randier short out there “inspired” by this movie, not like I’ve actually seen it or anything.

Petronel

Benwickere!

Me: It’s almost Dickensian.

Mr. Nel: Need defensive trickery? Call Benwickere!

Petronel

Both of us in unison: Budda Baker and Benwickere, Attorneys At Law!

(We’re both really tired.)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe

theeWeeBabySeamus

@RockingDog,
Is there a specific model of camera you need? I might be able to find it for you, refurbished, cheaper than new.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also, if you want a toe, he can get you a toe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, settle down, Walter.

Spur
Spur

@RockingDog
I do tasteful nude modeling. let me know.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I guess he’s napping now.
But try here. They ship fast and I’ve bought refurbished cameras and lenses from them and have never been disappointed.
https://www.cameta.com/refurbished.cfm

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Me during the beans-heavy portion of my summer diet.
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Spur
Spur

and you people mock me for watching the NBA.

Gratliff

Prefer wrestling for my scripted athletics

King Hippo

yup, the NBA is less-honest about it pro rasslin’

King Hippo

I would watch re-runs of this over the NBA finals.

litre_cola

Kind of have to agree with Hippo here, except now that DFO has the Nets beat covered I will be paying attention.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Economy Dennis is extremely cringeworthy.

King Hippo

let us know when you get to soy boy beta cuck!!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Just got there. Fantastic.

King Hippo

that whole 7-8 minute sequence was just jaw-dropping. PEAK SUNNY

rockingdog
rockingdog

trying to understand why this is a funny:
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know whether to be horrified or delighted.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Because they’re in Bosch’s Hell?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

As are the rest of us.

Spur
Spur

I think we’re ALL in hell now. It’s the only way to explain things.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fun fact: Bosch’s “The Harrowing of Hell” is owned by the Indianapolis Museum of Art.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess it’s because I’ve been in South Texas for over 40 years, but it really annoys me when white people say “Porto Rico.” It’s Puerto, pronounced “pwayr-toe.”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Fucking Gringos…

/Has a skin tone that makes Andy Dalton look well tanned

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re not wrong. You’re almost transparent, in fact.
😛

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

We prefer bioluminescent.

Romonobyl

True, also nobody outside of the Coastal Bend can make a breakfast taco worth a shit. I got one here in Virginia yesterday, the damned thing was packed with so much cilantro that I wanted to light one end of it then pass it to the guy sitting next to me.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Would examine Rosen for a lobotomy

King Hippo

We might see the Giraffe!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

How is there still 10 mins left in the 2nd?
Holy shit.

rockingdog
rockingdog

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rockingdog
rockingdog

gang hey im taking a photography class for school. Its 8 weeks long. Think I can buy a digital camera then use it for my class then return it after im done? this is a thing that normal people do, right?
these cameras are like $300… yikes!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

30 days is the usual return policy… So if you do it twice, you should be fine!

I’d recommend different stores.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha. Or that.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I witnessed Papa Commander return a used toothbrush to Costco, successfully. I was raised for this question.

blaxabbath

Costco will take back anything at any time.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I was reading a great thread about Costco returns. The contender for biggest pieces of shit are the multiple people who’d brought in the fully consumed except for the bones of the rotisserie chicken. Also, people who brought in just a bit of a big-ass pie. So long as there’s an identifiable amount of the product, or packaging, Costco will accept anything for return. They do keep track and apparently they won’t renew memberships for egregious offenders.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No.

But if you take care of it, you can probably sell it used for about 2/3’s value. Just don’t get it wet and don’t drop it.

King Hippo

When was the last time an NFL squadron hit 70?

blaxabbath

Rosen’s gonna end up the night with three pick-sixes, two more ints, three sacks, a concussion, and a botched circumcision.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Mazel tov!

Romonobyl

Guess he didn’t “make the cut”.

WCS

There’s still over ten minutes left in the half.

Petronel

At this rate we’ll be done around, what, 11:35 or so?

WCS

West Coast time.

rockingdog
rockingdog

yea ill take redsox vs astros over that shitty thursday night NFL game!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Arizona should just start taking knees

Spur
Spur

the ASU game is down the street.

Spur
Spur

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Romonobyl

This Texan (not by birth) has spent the last week in Virginia Beach, two weeks to go. Stuck in a hotel room watching mediocre footballing, at least Sunday had a good game with ‘murica’s team beating a team that just owned the Patriots. I go to great personal lengths to make Cowboy’s victories seem abnormally significant.

King Hippo

Have you been quarantined? This is actually ideal beach weather on the East Coast, if you hate ppl like I does.

Romonobyl

Pretty chilly for the beach right now…don’t want any shrinkage issues whilst sporting my snazzy board shorts.

King Hippo

Crazy Eyez having trouble reading the play sheet, I bet.

blaxabbath

Wonder how much ARI will have to give up to get Derek Andersen from BUF…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love how many empty seats there are behind home plate in Houston.

litre_cola

You mean asshat Marlins man didn’t show?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He probably up on the concourse signing autographs for the troops.

King Hippo

ah mean, they’s FOOTBAW on teevee

Spur
Spur

blaxabbath

DEN should have put Kirk DOWN on that fair catch.

Romonobyl

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King Hippo

BEST football video game ever!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

By the time this loaded on my screen, it already had 2 likes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

I don’t remember that video game

theeWeeBabySeamus

The guy trying to steer it, then just bailing out still cracks me up.

“Meh, fuck it”

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Beat me to it.

blaxabbath

When was this?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Redshirt

I’m getting 93-02 Bengals flashbacks here, guys. That’s a place I don’t want to revisit.

I mean I saw a guy False Start by falling on his face. The RB was in a two point stance, he started falling forward and because he didn’t want to get flagged, he held the stance until he hit the ground.

I’m not making that up. That actually happened and I don’t want to go back there!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Do you still poke a Lee Suggs voodoo doll?

blaxabbath

No joke, I was damn near inserting DEN’s D this week and I thought, “no no, Rosen isn’t going to let this offense get absolutely embarrassed this week.”

King Hippo

I almost started AZ in one league, and actually had them ahead of Shitty Clippers in waiver priority in other (just didn’t get them).

King Hippo

Dirty motherfucker

litre_cola

He falled down Hippo

Gratliff

Fucking wow

Beerguyrob

It’ll all be worth it if they bring in Herm Edwards for the postgame presser.

WCS

ASU’s right down the street.

Beerguyrob

Shit, they might hire him at halftime.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Rosen? This looks like TEBOW TIME.

/give him a call he’s waiting by the phone

Game Time Decision

A friend saw him playing triple A based ball this summer

King Hippo

/except only one of them is going to HAYYYYELLLL

King Hippo

//Teebs for being a Homer Sexual ,, obvs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damn, every time the baseball game goes to commercial I find that Denver has scored another touchdown.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Could be Kansas City.

Gratliff

Getting murdered by cougars in 4k is gonna be so funcomment image

Gratliff

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

As long as you don’t have to blow one up with a stick of dynamite in this one to advance a quest, I will be very happy.

Game Time Decision

Sit down, turn the game on and youngest asks for math help,with rates. Every time I look up from a question Denver had scored.

/wrote game over as an answer

Redshirt

Why is the NFL team playing against a FCS team?

WCS

I think the Cardinals are NAIA.

Spur
Spur

That’s not Our Lady of the Lake’s uniforms?

King Hippo

Nice extended Sparky cheerleaders shot, I flip over and He-mannuel Sanders is going in for 7.

HIPPO SMIRE

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I’m catching up on Sunny. I assume I’m not missing much with this game?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It’s 28-3 at the beginning of the 2nd qtr. You’re making the right choice.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It starts strong and keeps up the pace. I like what they did with last nights.

King Hippo

it’s a truly magnificent season (as much as I am enjoying this snuff film)

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

It’s been fantastic so far.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Spur
Spur

i bet Buck hits Troy at during halftime.

Game Time Decision

Would rather watch that then the game

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They just crawled into the booth from the world’s saddest gangbang.