Yinzer Morons Bye Week Who Cares

WCS
Launch nukes

WCS

WCS
Launch nukes

Latest posts by WCS (see all)

After six games, does anyone really know what this team is? They’ve been run over by Bawler, tore HOTLANTA apart by the sinew, and tied against the freaking Browns.

THE BEN has either been the probable Hall-Of-Famer he most likely is on good days, and looking more like Nate Peterman on the off ones. It’s like he’s decided to become Eli Manning’s entire career in six weeks. He’s either THE BEN that won two Super Bowls, or, he’s Cliff Stoudt floating picks to the Chiefs (BETTA CALL SOMEBODDDDYYYY).

Le’Veon Bell still hasn’t played a down. James “Don’t Just Say I Beat Cancer” Conner has been brilliant. He’s really been great. He’s not a Lev Bell, David Johnson, or Zeke Elliott, but, he’s still good for four yards, at minimum, and he’s shown the ability to be “the guy.” All of this is based on the concept the offensive line can/will stay healthy. Yeah…. I’m pretty sure every single guy on the o-line has been hurt already. The backups? Hurt too. Good times. We’ll see what happens, but, I’m not positive.

The wideouts? Antonio Brown is still a demi-god on the field, while traumatizing children off it. He bitches and moans whenever he doesn’t get 19 catches for 358 yards and 17 touchdowns in a game. Who is supposed to keep in check? THE BEN. This will work out fine. Juju Smith-Schuter seems like another great find in the draft, a genuinely fun dude who enjoys life on and off the field. Yinzers will break him soon enough. Vance McDonald and Jesse James at tight end (gitity) are fine, but the haven’t blown anyone’s dicks off. The less said about the o-line, the better.

Guys getting hurt on this offense is akin to the Drumpf White House having turmoil. Mike Tomlin, and Herr Hairpiece may say things are fine, but, everyone paying attention knows better.

For defense? Jeebus wept. Artie Burns’ surname is very apt. The secondary is… well, it’s to the Stiller’s standards for the last 25 years. Just. Plain. Shitty. This defense continues to true Yinzer Way since 1993, of BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ and hope to God it does something, so our sorry-ass defensive backs don’t actually have to do anything. I’ve seen some truly shitty secondaries, and this right up with them. It’s either go with the pick, or, let up a 40-yard play. There isn’t much in-between.

Then there’s the special teams. Kicker Chris Boswell has gone from Tiger Woods circa 2000, to, well, modern day Tiger. Yeah, occasionally, things might work out, but…. hold your breath. Jordan Berry punting is the same as some Division III walk-on: sometimes good, most of the time terribad.

To recap, especially  in regards to the upcoming schedule? Who the hell knows. This team could/should/would be 5-1, at best, or 1-4-1 at worst. Nothing about this team makes any sense, and it probably won’t for the rest of the season. Cast your dice, and you’ll probably be right.
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Best caste: 11-4-1

|Worst: 7-8-1

My guess: 10-5-1, strange playoff spot that brings.

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Moose -The End Is Well NighblaxabbathnomonkeyfunSharkbaitKing Hippo Recent comment authors
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King Hippo

I enjoyed this immensely in real time, and glad it got its own video:

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

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Horatio Cornblower

Rikki reacts to the Raiders season so far:

https://t.co/Yw1MC8TYuK

nomonkeyfun

Aaaaand, he gone.

https://twitter.com/AZCardinals/status/1053305915141570560

Left wichdoes know a thing or two about being carried by your players.

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Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Looks like Keenan Thompson in a bad SNL skit.

nomonkeyfun

“Hey. That’s racist. We don’t all look alike.”
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“Um, Omar.”
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“Oh fuck, I forgot about you. Carry on then.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Best caste: 11-4-1

We’ve secretly replaced WCS with award-winning writer Salman Rushdie. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

You have? Where might he be at this time?

Ayatollah Khomeini

Game Time Decision

I’ve got Ben in one of my leagues and am torn between using him and how shitty of a person he is.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, the Tom Brady Conundrum…

Horatio Cornblower

While I dislike the Pats more than the Steelers, Brady is not even in Ben’s league when it comes to being a piece of shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like the difference between an adult Brett Kavanaugh and him as a drunken seventeen year-old. I mean, sure, all the words that come out of his mouth are the self-serving lies of a man who has sold his soul, but it’s certainly preferable to rape.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bridget Moynahan:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you fucking kidding me?!? Tawmy broke up his rich pregnant GF, before either knew she was pregnant. Moynahan is now friends with Brady and Bundchen because of their son. Ben is a rapist, most likely a multiple rapist with his college buddies. That is a fucking criminal. There is no moral equivalence here. In fact there is no equivalence whatsoever.

blaxabbath

Say what you want about “James Connor isn’t David Johnson” but David Johnson isn’t even David Johnson. I’m not say he’s a system guy; but a system can ruin a guy. And by a system, I mean Mike McCoy’s system.

ballsofsteelandfury

I thought McCoy was getting fired last night. What happened?

nomonkeyfun

He answers to the Bidwells. They think that Italy was impressive in WWI.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maybe they are keeping him around long enough to get one last win against the Raiders, as a parting gift.

blaxabbath

No one gets just one win against the Raiders.

King Hippo

they got Johnson in space ONCE last night, he got 9 yards. Then right back to up the middle.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m SO glad I don’t care any more. However, I will fight anyone that disagrees that JuJu is the best player to come out of USC in at least a decade.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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ballsofsteelandfury

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