Your “Vengeance Written In My Eyes” Saturday Evening Open Thread

It was a pretty good week – it hasn’t rained in Vancouver in almost two weeks. The view across the water at the big city has been really, really nice.

Also, I figured out the proper pizza : alcohol ratio at night in order to keep me pleasant at work the next day. Sometimes, it’s the small victories that are the sweetest.

It did kind of suck that Le’Veon ruined my pieces by not actually returning, but that’s the capricious nature of blogging. Oh well – TO THE ALCOHOL GAMES!


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Brewers – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
      • Game 7, Bay-Bay!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSTyAiCaoG8

  •  NHL:
    • Blues at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC / NHLN
    • Habs at Sens – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / City
    • Bruins at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet / City
    • Preds at Oilers – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • Mississippi State at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • UCF at East Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Fresno State at New Mexico – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Ohio State at Purdue – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Oregon at Washington State – 7:30PM | FOX
    • Arizona at UCLA – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • CFL:
    • Roughriders at Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Raptors at Wizards – 7:00PM | TSN2

Get a good night’s sleep – the London game is at 10:00AM Eastern. DON’T FORGET TO IRISH THOSE COFFEES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Please crush Boston.
Go Dodgers in six.

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to Xenu’s ears

Redshirt

Well, credit the Buckeyes for not snapping the ball and going for a meaningless touchdown. Of course, knowing how today went, Purdue probably would picked it off and ran it back for a score.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh, silly, that never happens.

Brocky

Mildly related rant: why the fuck is it that I seem to know a dozen packers fans off the top of my head but not a single one of them roots for the brewers?

WCS

Because all those Packers fans live in Florida or California. And they can’t name any other quarterbacks besides Farve and Rodgers.

Horatio Cornblower

MAJKOWSKI!!!

Brick Meathook

Kershaw’s got a balky windup

Brocky

I would make a comment about there being riots in lafayette tonight.

but as usual, all the purdue kids went to IU for the weekend for the kickass party atmosphere, so it’ll be a quiet night on campus.

Brick Meathook

Purdue students have homework to do.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll be very happy when these Talibeards go out of style again.
They look like shit and they look like the wearer just doesn’t give a fuck about how they look.

YOU’RE ON FUCKING TV ASSHOLES BUY A FUCKING RAZOR.

Mr. Ayo

Kershaw klosing keeps knight knots keyed

theeWeeBabySeamus

Buh Bye Brewers.

King Hippo

alrighty, who would the ppls LIKE in the playoffs that will get fucked over in favour of a THEEEE side that lost to Purdue by 4 goddamned TDs?

ah say Oklahoma

Horatio Cornblower

“We want Bama”

Alabama would run a worse train on Purdue than they did on the Scottsboro Boys.

Brocky

watching Alabama run on train on Notre Dame was honest to god the most cathartic moment of my life.

if that happened to purdue… omg…

King Hippo

Likely have to settle for Bama rogering ND once again

Horatio Cornblower

If that happens I will be taking a large sum of money to the casino this time.

Hey, Redishirt, gimme back that $2.32!

Brocky

the fighting Irish couldn’t win a playoff game if the opponent was on a scissor lift during a windstorm

Horatio Cornblower

One of my (many) regrets in life is not going to down to the casino sports book and putting the kids’ college fund on Alabama to cover what I think was a 10 point spread.

Christ, there could have been $400 in there by now!

Redshirt

In one night, we’ve gone from will they be undefeated in the playoffs. Now we’re wondering if OSU will even be the Top 20 after this egg laying.

Redshirt

Urban: “Okay, okay, I get it. Next time I’ll believe the victim.”

WCS

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Brick Meathook

I always wondered why they took him to the don’s house and then let him bleed all over that nice tile floor. That must have taken months to clean.

Horatio Cornblower

it was worth it. Tommy was a fucking asshole.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

From what I’ve read the guy he was based on in real life was even worse.

Brick Meathook

Yeah, but why do it there? They could have whacked him in a car. I guess this method was more cinematic, Mr. Scorsese.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Now that’s slicing the gut and fucking the wound.

King Hippo

tOSU is losing as badly as Illinois did LMAO

Mr. Ayo

Too bad Horatio is dead, because he would have really enjoyed that.

Horatio Cornblower

-gurgles happily-
-leg twitch-

litre_cola

Oh there will be babies in 9 months in the West Lafayette area.

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

there really is a maximal amount of cancer kid, ABC. You passed it about 90 minutes ago. We are all shifting uncomfortably on our couches now.

herodotus450

Maybe they know they won’t be able to show him next year…

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, man.

King Hippo

YES, I laughed quite a bit at that

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or next week, way dude looked.

Horatio Cornblower

You know what? We should all go out as happy as that kid is going to. Vaya con Dios, Tyler.

King Hippo

yeah, he’s a Purdue fan, he knows what next week brings…

Viva La Tabula Raza

No doubt. It’s like when Warren Zevon came out and said he wanted his cancer to wait to kill him until after the next Bond film came out. He got his wish, but unfortunately that Bond movie was Die Another Day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Righty/lefty….two run single to right. Just watch…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well never mind because this asshole can’t throw strikes.

Mr. Ayo

You should totes start betting again. You’re due!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am o fer due.

This is why I don’t bet baseball or hockey.

Being right doesn’t matter.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But I was right that the Brewers couldn’t muster a comeback.

Redshirt

This game is making me root for cancer. This game must end.

Horatio Cornblower

Those goal posts are fucking toast.

WCS

SAFETY DUNCE?!

litre_cola

Oh this is fantastic to watch. Those special teams were special.

Horatio Cornblower

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-breathes-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-breathes-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-forgets to breath-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-turns blue-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-dies with no regrets-

King Hippo

can you do it again for that kickoff return??

Horatio Cornblower

No. I’m dead.

Jesus, pay attention.

King Hippo

ah read lots of apocalyptic fiction, some of it has unded in it smh

Redshirt

/ rummages through pockets

Horatio Cornblower

I hope you make good use of the $2.32, a parking receipt and, for some reason, a mint that I apparently swiped from the restaurant at lunch and then forgot about.

Redshirt

Reporter: “After talking to several members of the jury, they believed the defendants story that he stopped for lunch due to the contents of his wallet and couldn’t have comment the murders.”

I can think of some good use for them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Those mints are free, so you’re not really stealing them, but it’s fun to pretend.

Redshirt

Buckeyes Offense & Fans: “You know. We’ve come back before. Two touchdowns. We still have a chance. All we need is for OH, WHAT THE HELL, DEFENSE?!”

Mr. Ayo

That was some great form tackling technique there.

WCS

You’ll still make the Playoff.

litre_cola

12 for 170 and 2 td’s is a tidy evening.

Horatio Cornblower

I hope this kid with cancer outlives Urban Meyer.

King Hippo

He’s sure outlived his defensing unit…

King Hippo

Name one mascot rapier than Purdue Pete YOU CAN’T!!!

litre_cola

Google the Edmonton Oilers mascot. Looks like an alley cat with herpes, a meth addiction and no money. That will rape you.

King Hippo

Well, 2 b fair, a resourceful alley cat needs no moneys ,, ppl forget that

Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

Steely McBeam maybe.

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

He’s not so much “rapey” as he is “domestic abuse”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Rapier?comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Milwaukee. You’re ded now.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah. “Now”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fair point.

Redshirt

I’m not comfortable hating a kid fighting cancer, but fate has put me in this role.

King Hippo

it keeps harshing my buzz, for sure

Horatio Cornblower

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“Forget it, Redshirt; it’s Lafayette”

Brocky

if the kid likes purdue he fucking deserves it

Horatio Cornblower

Why would you chant “overrated” at the #2 team while you’re beating them? Don’t you want them to be correctly rated, so as to make your victory more impressive?

Think this shit through, Boilermakers!
/looks up how to make a boilermaker
//continues drinking Buffalo Trace straight, with a water back.

WCS

Methinks there will be some burninating in West Lafayette, Humphillve tonight.
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Brocky

yeah, but it would happen anyways.

Horatio Cornblower

Had to chime in here to mock Urban Meyer. Fuck that guy, and fuck the OSU.

King Hippo

Is it wrong to hope he dies on the pitch tonight? Because I hope he dies on the pitch tonight. And that Purdue Pete violates his corpse.

King Hippo

Wazzu has some underrated cheerleaders

litre_cola

Ever been to Pullman in the summer? You will not see them there.

King Hippo

yeah, I reckoned they were imports

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll be goddamned, Purdue just might pull this shit off.

King Hippo

/pre-emptively angry about tOSU getting into the playoffs anyway

litre_cola

Yes, but Purdue is the preferred Indiana university.

King Hippo

oh, fo sho. Purdue and Wazzu are two of my most favourite of Wolven sister city-types

King Hippo

Oregon State is probably the very bestest

Viva La Tabula Raza

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herodotus450

“What’re you gonna do, put in Michigan!?”

King Hippo

OKLAHOMA!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

WHY THE FUCK WON’T BELLINGER TUCK HIS FUCKING SHIRT IN FFS??????????

theeWeeBabySeamus

Machado gonna single to left center.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Machado gonna strike out on a shitty pitch, is what I meant to say.

King Hippo

lucky I had my 2-lime alkie fizzy water rage nap from 5-7:45

King Hippo

damn it, you talk baseball events like it was actual competitive event, screwed up my channel flippies. Had to remember what my channels was.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Like that’s my fault that your pill addled brain hit the wrong button?

King Hippo

Moustache Man TD pass!! GET FUCKED, Ducks!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Someone tell this asshole to button up his jersey.
And maybe consider getting a shave.

Mr. Ayo

RESPECT THE GAME! smgdh

Fronkenshteen

No haz CBS. How to be streaming London game? Does YouTube work?

King Hippo

I think this might be the yahoo streaming one?

Spanky Datass

If you are willing to wade through teh reddit, a stream can be found … but that can be an hella slog.
/watched parts of CFL game on reddit tonight
//has headache

King Hippo

That Wazzu WR will have all teh Paloose Poon ™ he can handle tonite!!

Mr. Ayo

And meth! Should be a fun night.

King Hippo

too bad he ain’t likely to remember it ,, smh

King Hippo

I also want to know how Oh-ray-GAWNE ended up with MOAR greasy mullets than I have ever seen even in a country Southern high school game.

Redshirt

If I believed in fate, I would bet money on the Bengals with UC and OSU’s undefeated seasons being sent to the Graveyard as a sacrifice. But I keep remembering that God hates all sports teams I like and enjoys teaching me lessons like how to live with disappointment and ulcers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fielder’s choice, 6-4 to end the inning. You heard it here first.
Just watch….

Mr. Ayo

So close!

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is why I don’t bet anymore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never mind. I didn’t expect the imbecile would awing at something that bad.
2-3 on the K. Jeebus.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuckin’ ‘ell, Purdue.

Mr. Ayo

Should Urban Meyer resign?

I say YES

King Hippo

at least one historically ugly sister engineering school didn’t shit the pitch today!

litre_cola

If we were a beisbol site Yasiel Pug would be the best. Laziness, flashes of energy, needy endearing he has it all!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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litre_cola

I have been so pleased dog sitting Mexipug, he is just as goofy as Oxipug was but with more energy and better breathing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I never told you that one of my “specialties” became soft palate surgery with the surgical laser. Reducing the the apnea, improving the breathing.

Or maybe I did tell you. Shit I can’t remember now.

litre_cola

That will happen. The weed brain thing, not the pug breathing, wait, yeah, all of those things.

Redshirt

(goes to Angry Dome)
(sees its occupied)
(takes number)
(sits down quietly; eye twitching)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit stop throwing this guy fastballs. Give him a fucking slider and he’ll K.

theeWeeBabySeamus

fucking told ya so.