Good day, all and sundry! I’m Petronel, and this is my first post. (“Hi, Petronel!”)
Continuing our roundup of SPOOKY NFL STORIES!, here is what 2016 had to offer.
Horatio Cornblower started things off right with The Man with the Golden Arm.
Blaxabbath sent us into the RRRRRRAMMMMMIT! Zone.
Beerguyrob showed us what happens when you abandon TV wrestling for online dating.
BrettFavresColonoscopy went all Poe-faced on us.
Old School Zero exposed us to Obedience training.
Yeah Right uncovered the true cost of curiosity.
InternetDad got straight to the point.
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem exhibited bravery of an uncommon sort by tackling the Blair Walsh Project.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly continued the Kinging.
Entropy wrapped up Halloween 2016 neatly, with true greatness.
Get yer scare on!
I just reread Entropy’s masterpiece and it’s inspired my entry for this year, a little something I like to call: “Fuck It, I’m Out”
One downside of sharing all these is raising expectations and concluding we’ve all lost a step.
Not when you see mine. It’s got Hue Jackson in it so I’m building up expectations in it sky-high so it will be more horrifying when they come crashing down.
Welcome to the writer’s lounge Petronel!
Here’s your DFO branded smoking jacket.
The cognac is on the sideboard.
Excellent! Let’s have a look.
Riding the border between tasteful and pimptastic. Perfect. How about the booze?
Hey, the expensive stuff! (knows jack about cognac, but looking forward to learning)
Our numbers are growing exponentially!!
For variable definitions of “mildly-belligerent”.
Very nice job, Petronel!
We’re not allowed to make “popping cherry” jokes, right?
Right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IqH3uliwJY
[pops another chocolate-covered cherry into his mouth]
– Andy Reid
Because what could possibly go wrong?
(Thanks! Gotten a lot of help along the way.)
“Turns out it was CTE, and since nobody cares about that, the player went home and shut his mouth.” -DTZM
As true today as it ever was.
One of my all-time favorites written here.
Put me on the record: Were Steve Scalise to be shot and killed at any moment, it would be an inarguably objective positive event. Full stop.
“Nobody ever could have predicted that egging our followers on to greater and greater heights of fear and fury would have actually led to them acting out some of their violent fantasies!”
He’ll speak out against it, but doing something like pushing legislation for sensible gun control?
Fuck that.
“Now Billy, we don’t want you eating any more candy. To show you how serious we are, we’re sending you to your room for the next two hours, where you’ll be left alone, unsupervised, with all of your Halloween candy.”
I’m going after The Last Yard this year.
You hear me @entropy? I’M COMING FOR YOUR CROWN!
/is going to fail miserably.
Wait….just wait…. You’re a ‘Niners fan AND A P*TS FAN??????
Oh dear lord, somebody delete her account, quick!!!!!!
(just kidding, dear….nicely done)
I know! The level of potential for douchebaggery is pretty high with that combo. I do what I can to avoid that.
(And, thanks!)
Jesus, if you were a guy the smell of Axe would come through my computer and smother me.
Eeew. Gross boy stuff.