If you didn’t watch the footy yesterday morning this headline means nothing to you. Sher Kahn’s mustache was repeatedly shown watching his squadoo and at one point it appeared as though he jolted awake. Way to represent, owner. Ah, he was probably under the strain of trying to think of how he could double his fortune. I’ll let him be.
Some other group of kids I’ll leave be are the godawful Left Coasters we have in our midst. After much soul-searching I’ve come to believe that most of the fellas that don’t sprinkle edible gold flakes on their morning oatmeal aren’t such bad guys after all. Sure they’re different but it’s important to remain as inclusive as possible during these oh-so-divisive times. A wise man once said “KILL THEM ALL!” and although I will take that under advisement if I’m ever diagnosed as having terminal cancer, it’ll remain in my back pocket for now.
TO THE GAME!
Philly/Jax:
Have you ever seen legit Super Bowl contenders flame out as quickly as these two? Both are just treading water at 3-4 and still convinced that, “WE CAN TURN THIS THING AROUND!”. The loser of this tete-a-tete will be saying the exact same thing next week and a local media that loves themselves those precious cliches will gobble it up. Some defensive backs for the Jags had themselves a $64,000 party and were arrested but not charged after a kerfuffle with security. According to Ian Rapoport, Barry Church, Ronnie Harrison, DJ Hayden and Jarrod Wilson had interactions with various bobbies and were subsequently let go. Fantasy-wise I’m sitting Alshon for this one and inserting Tre’Quan because they rhyme. Don’t do what scotchnaut does.
It’s Bloody Mary (Bloody Caesars up here) time! Hint: throw a touch of horseradish in there-it’ll put a bit of skip into your diddly!
Just NINE MINUTES until I can bitch about the Everton XI!!
You can start early. We don’t mind.
Yeah. Because you’ve always held back until the start time before.
Wait, Bortles only missed one throw and has 60 fucking yards? You have to about try for that level of ineffectiveness.
[whistles in appreciation]
– Alex Smith
“Remember: Goedert rhymes with Joe Dirt.”
-David Spade’s underpaid publicist
Underpaid? Dude should be busking for work.
And Arsenal takes the lead, on one of the more blatant uncalled handballs I’ve ever seen.
You’re just salty, ’cause it’s true… Well, damn it, I know my lads and I’ll take charity and ref myopia whenever I can!
nice home field advantage Palace lets y’all have too
“Nice palace ya got ‘ere. Be a shame if anything were tae happen tae’t.”
/I’ve been reading ‘Cockney For Dummies’
Oh, I’m an Arsenal fan, and have been ever since Hippo made us pick Premier teams a couple of years back. But my dude might as well have just grabbed that ball and thrown it on goal.
That said, yes, my Gunners need every break they can get.
I’m a fan since ’96-ish, because I saw a gun on the crest and thought it was good… Purrrty sure that lil’ choice gave me ulcer, but damn it if it’s not worth it. Also lol at BBC
GOAL – Crystal Palace 1-2 Arsenal
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (56 mins)
Was that handball?!
Hard to say for sure..
Hard?! Fuck’s sake I’m biased as hell and the only more blatant handball was a certain pudgy Argentinian cokehead
Chelsea with a strike Kershaw would be proud of.
If it was in the post-season that strike would have landed 420′ away.
wrong TE, you right-wing evangelical fucktard fuck
That isn’t Ertz but I will take it.
I woke up and turned on the TV literally as that play was snapped. It was clearly because of me.
Keep doing that.
#GoldenGod
/also, when I finished Bojack s5, Netflix recommended “F is for Family” – should I?
I really like it, but I’m also a diehard Bill Burr fan, so it’s possible I enjoy it more
Calais!
First name? Caloo.
Fuck that guy.
Best way to get you kid buried in the sandbox like a cat turd: heavy doses of Calliou and/or Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.
Daniel Tiger is an affront to every child who grew up with Mr. Rogers.
A coupla moar turnovers like that and I might have a shot at staying within 10 pts of Dok this week.
Imma still lose to her, don’t get me wrong. But I’d rather at least it be respectable.
Jesus, that Arsenal free kick!
/is watching the wrong footy
//regrets nothing
wearing LOLfins colours, it’s easy to get confused
I’m not a fan of this particular kit.
And playing good, which is REALLY unnatural too, mate..
They should update Gruden’s Bridgestone commercial to show him removing all 4 tires from the car & just driving down the road on rims sending up showers of sparks with that stupid fucking smirk on his face.
But after he wrecks this car, he’s gonna get a chance to buy four brand new tires at a much lower price!
On my fantasy squad, under Derrick Henry it says “No Game”. I’m sure it’s because of the bye but damn that is goddamn harsh/true otherwise.
G’morn everybody.
How’s the game across the pond going so far?
/turns on teevee box
//goes back to bed
I get sick like once or twice a year at most. That is pretty amazing considering the amount of traveling I do and the fact I am constantly flipping my sleep schedule.
But when I do get sick…its always fucking bronchitis. I got it now and had it since Thursday. I think I am getting MAYBE three hours a sleep in a go because I keep waking up to hack up green and pink shit from my lungs.
I got a doctor’s visit in the morning. I can’t fucking wait so I can just sleep through the fucking night.
How has your back been lately?
Alright.
My money league opponent left Deshaun and his 41 points on the bench. Tee hee!
/he’s still favoured to win by 10
Will Fuller died too late for Hippo
Fulham supporters (other than DFO’s own) really could use this Jaguras result
Yeah bit of a pickle for me on this one.
I hope the final score of this game is 15-12.
69 All
I have Meet the Press on. They just said, “We don’t want to blame the baby boomers.”
I don’t care what the questions is; the answer is that the fault is almost surely that the baby boomers are at fault.
“Who’s in charge? Well, let’s make sure to not blame them!”
“Won’t somebody think to blame the children?”
Dayum
Come on you cowards go for it!
Trump at his Inauguration: “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.”
::Mass shootings at schools, churches, concerts, synogogues, etc::
Trump: “There’s no nothing. It’s nothing.”
If Trump makes a promise and nobody is around to hear it, when he inevitably fails to deliver does that mean he broke it?
Democrats broke it.
Oh I thought it was the fake news media who broke it by reporting his failure.
It was the deep state media.
the Ancient Alien Astrounaut Commie Lizard People conspiracy funded by George Soros did it, actually.. the Democrats are just unwitting pawns
Obama’s fault. Kenya. Muslims. Immigrants. Abortionists. Democrats.
How many announcers are doing this game?????
Calais looks gassed.
– Gunnery sergeant, circa 1915
I ain’t as funny as youze guys, but I’m a damn good set-up man!
“Wasn’t me!”
-Adolf H.
Heh, the BBC is gushing about my Gooners starting to dominate the game, so … anyone else putting fifty quid on Crystal Palace, or is it just me?
EPL is stupid and I hate it. The English Championship, now that is where it is at……
GOAL – Crystal Palace 1-0 Arsenal
Luka Milivojevic (Pen)
I hate it when I’m right (at least I put it for a HT result 😀 )
Ginger Hammer sighting!
Dak’s acting makes Donovan McNabb look like Daniel Day Lewis.
Worst athlete actor since Rick Mirer.
You know who can fuck themselves? NFL talking heads who talk about “swagger”.
Fronk you just need more swagger. Don’t be afraid it isn’t like herpes.
and BORT! gon’ BORT! nil-nil draw FOAR the crown, guv’nuh
D-Jax wants out of Jameistown. Shocking.
I made a comment about this in the next intro. He’s not half the speedster he used to be.
Dakota Jeebus gon’ Dakota Jeebus.
what’s going on with this alternate Gooner kit?
Only thing that could get me to watch this game is if a soccer game was happening simultaneously on the same field.
This is a wonderful idea that needs to happen.
Chelski off the post now. As future Hippo sexbot #3 Lana Rhoades would say…it’s comin’
/and similarly, 30 seconds later, IT COMES
Did you courtesy tap 1st?
“Avonte Maddox” is the name you want to touch, but you mustn’t touch
?the wheels on the Bort go ‘round and ‘round…?
Can’t watch the game. Don’t have NFL Network and they aren’t letting it air on YouTube Premium. Good work, NFL. You have one game being played and I cannot watch it.
Not that an Eagles/Jaguars game is all that enticing, but I would have watched.
This. What the fuck else you gonna do on a Sunday morning, go to HAH! church?
Definitely not going to synagogue for a while.
Seriously, someone might gun you dow….
/nah, just joshin’ I’mma White Protestant, something would change if that ever happened to us
Not if the Saudis or Russians did it.
call the bobbies (not like last night’s booby bobbies), Joe Hart actually made a well-decent save!
Maybe you should stop drinkin’ mate, yer starting to speak gibberish.. Joe Hart making a save?!
Mornin. I have to say this drinking in moderation has something to it. I don’t feel like death, I don’t have crippling depression and now I am ready for a 10-7 wire hanger aBortle.
Are you getting the game on the tube?
I have Dazn for red zone and ow Champions League futbol as they got the rights from Sportsnet and TSN.
Go Calais Campbell. Fuck ‘em up kid.
He should really be on the first French NFL team, not English.
Kelce broke his dick?
Hey! NFLN isn’t playing the game? Where it being shown?
I just checked and it’s on NFLN in the States. Maybe this is a Trump plan to piss Canadia off?
This is the worst thing to happen to anyone since tWBS chased a mouse with a broom in his garage.
Hungover. Badly. Waking up for this one isn’t the first poor decision I’ve made this weekend.
Get some menudo.
And that’s why you should never stop drinking during a sports-laden weekend
SO EXCITE!!
I’m betting you’ve got Burnley/Chelsea on another monitor somewhere within eyeball sight.
And a tablet with the Arsenal game on as well… While waiting to see if Leicester’s is ded or very ded on yer mobile…
It’s a little weird they haven’t confirmed the death yet, right?
Given that it’s a private helo, yeah, it’s kinda weird, as the biggest “problem” is notifying next of kin is usually what delays things. It may sound callous, but it may be that they don’t know who else was in there, so they may be trying to ID the rest, so they don’t look like they’re neglecting the “normal” people that also died. Hell, a friend of mine from flight school was ID’d publically like 4 hours after he crashed (pilot error, he hit a power line)
Chelski in their banana kit, such a fashion risk
Oh, ok…
/Tosses “Lock them up” signs into burning barrel that I use to heat my hovel
Whole GOT DAMN left coast is nothing but caravaners. Maybe not this caravan but some kind of caravan! Yessir, not like us FINE ‘MERICANS in duh Carolinins. Been calling this same plat of land ours for two hundrin’ years and the bloodline still as pure today as when my great-great-granddaddy married HIS cousin folk on them generations back. Now let’s mail some bombs, shoot some joos, and build that wall!
Crap — is JAGIT/PHI only an NFLN broadcast?
Seems like it. And they aren’t even doing a pre-game show. wtf? Not that I’d watch it but that seems… odd.
So, this is all a big misunderstanding! The players went here:
http://www.thelondonreign.com
And since the club’s motto is #Makeitreign, you could see how they were confused and thought they were going to a strip club instead of an artsy fartsy “show” club. I can see them drunkenly saying ,”I AIN’T PAYING FOR SHIT UNTIL I SEE A TITTY!”
Is that a fucking BURGER as a garnish?
Tis but a wee slider.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vnYc8RBg5U
Still
I’m with you-I just needed an excuse to play T-Rex.
J-A-G-S
JAGS JAGS JAGS!
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