Your “NFLN Leaves Canuck Football Watchers Out in the Cold” Sunday Afternoon Open Thread

Perhaps some of you snorted at the headline and said, “How apropos.”. Well, it would only be apropos if the game involved Baltimore. (I like this joke quite a bit) Seriously, the NFL can’t afford to piss off the dozen or so of us Canadians that would have taken the game in. You started it, I’m going to end it with my consumer bucks. I’m never switching to Geico and Bud Lite will never touch my tongue. Nevermind that I wouldn’t do those things anyway, it’s the principle of the thing and now all the NFL executives that lurk on this blog know where I stand.

TO THE GAMES!

Den/KC:

Some hope for the Broncs? They’re the only team to hold the Chiefs in check for 30 minutes or so. Also, said Chiefs are down to their 3-string center so there might be an opportunity for the d-line to get to the qb. Not hope? Keenum has to match Mahomes TD for TD.

Cle/Pit:

Is it too much to ask for these teams to play to a second tie in the same season? Probably, although if you look at the Browns games to date they’ve lost 4 games by a field goal. They’re so close to a) getting over the hump, and b) getting that second tie. (maybe they should play a game in Windsor-that might cinch it)

TB/Cincy:

Open the plenty o’points floodgates! Between these two D’s there are at least 6 starters that are going to be no-shows. Desean Jackson has requested a trade because he thinks he’s the same player he was more than half a decade ago.

NYJ/Chi:

Can’t help but feel that that this game has out-sized importance to both combatants. Each team seems to be headed in the right direction although I think that Hippo jumped on the Bears bandwagon a year early.

Bal/Car:

My under-the-radar, oh-so-sneaky, all-or-nothing fantasy flyer is rook wr D.J. Moore. He has come along slowly but has earned Newton’s trust and is seeing the ball more.

Was/NYG:

This is my official “KILL IT WITH FIRE” pick. I’ll still watch because… Well, just because-I don’t need a reason do I?

Sea/Det:

Tyrone Swoopes, we hardly knew ye. “Who is he?”, you ask. Just the 4th string te of the Squawks, that’s all. His one catch for 23 yards was beauty personified. But don’t worry Mrs. Swoopes, if your son clears waivers he’ll most likely end up back on the practice squad.

Please wash your icky parts before commenting.

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King Hippo

thanks for the Njoku 0, assholes

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why not throw it to Tate today you fat fucking fuck?

theeWeeBabySeamus

There ya go!!!!!
Finally.

King Hippo

LAMAR! in for the Ratbirds.

theeWeeBabySeamus

About goddamned time.

Gratliff

Fucking useless Giants

King Hippo

they don’t deserve an OBJ

Mr. Ayo

He really makes OBJ look great.

King Hippo

Need a breakaway BeatieDOWN, also garbage score from Black Panthers D

King Hippo

MOAR Beatie!!

yeah right

Oh DirecTV you done fucked up now!

King Hippo

Looks like Donks WOO!! will at least get the backdoor cover.

King Hippo

How about some garbage d’Njoku, fucknutses?

King Hippo

We can HAS ManningFace!

Spur

AD whipping that NYG ass.

King Hippo

Beatie was WIDE OPEN, and Red Rocket SCRAMBLES instead?

Mr. Ayo

DICKSON! BEST PUNTER IN THE WORLD!

LemonJello

Norv Turner is still coaching in the National Football League?!?

King Hippo

white male = infinite chances

...

One pock mark = one NFL coaching job.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s got two thumbs and is on the comeback trail?
(it’s me)
I’m coming for ya Dok!!!!!
comment image

Mother Puncher

Cut Williams

King Hippo

wow, Fatty

...

Gotta milk that cash cow until the teet inverts.

herodotus450

Seinfeld and Friends still make like 100 Million a year, just from syndication. I think BB(C) will be ooooooK.

...

Seinfeld residuals are proof money makes you objectively less funny. Jerry Seinfeld can’t even be accidentally funny anymore.

blaxabbath

Is there a chance Eli has mad head injury action going on that the team doesn’t want to report and, being the company man that he is, Eli is just playing with a damaged noggin and keeling his mouth shut?

blaxabbath

Big if true

hippofant

IT’S FITZMAGIC TIIIIIIME

hippofant

Seriously though, if your QB’s going to throw 4 INTs anyways, you might as well get the high variance possibility of Fitzpatrick going off for 6 TDs.

Redshirt

Winston is as bad in person than on TV

blaxabbath

– NAWT Seminole County P.D.

...

Come on. That show “God Friended Me” is an elaborate prank, right?

...

Watching CBS is like mind-melding with the dying brain of a confused homebody Boomer.

blaxabbath

Remember – there is a huge swath of Americans who have convinced themselves they live in two conflicting realities simultaneously and that it’s their choice to experience any world event through the filter of the reality of their choosing.

Mother Puncher

I would be so happy if Fitzy led a comeback against my Bengals

Mother Puncher

Fitzmagic putting his helmet on

LemonJello

Is the game over and he’s riding his Vespa home?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…yours was better.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s the o/u on how long it takes him to get that chin strap around the fucking beard?

Horatio Cornblower

Am I to understand that Big Blue has run 11 straight plays without once giving it to Barkley?

I mean, why? What possible strategy is that?

Mr. Ayo

Eli redemption tour has commenced!

...

The one you least suspect! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

King Hippo

feed teh Beatie man!

Gratliff

All I need is for the Skins to lose here and getting super annoyed at how uniquely awful Eli Manning is right now

Horatio Cornblower

Do the Giants not have another QB? Why is Eli still playing?

The Maestro

They also have something called an “Alex Tanney”, so I guess not.

King Hippo

sounds like a former Vice-President of the CSA or sommet

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goose Island makes a good IPA. I think I’ll have another.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5szRnQmyI4E

The Maestro

One of my faves right now for sure.

LemonJello

I like their 312 Urban Wheat Ale.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, that is good. Haven’t had it since my last trip to California.
I gotta go looking for that now.

...

It’s mass-produced in the same facilities the main Bud beers are, so it shouldn’t be hard to get.

Horatio Cornblower

Ironically, they are owned by Bud’s conglomerate, the same people that push Bud Light “for the rest of us”

That said, Goose Island is good shit.

...

Goose Island sold to ABInbev for $38 million while Ballast Point managed to get *$1 billion* from Constellation Brands. Considering how much I’ve personally paid for the Bourbon County beers (some people buy cases of them!) that was a goddamned steal.

King Hippo

things I thought I’d never live to say – sure glad I picked up the Redacteds D a few weeks ago

...

Who are these weird fitness-focused young urbanites who drink Michelob because calories and not face-puckering IPAs because trendiness?

King Hippo

NO NO NO ded He-mannuel Sanders is the last thing I needs

...

Oh yeah… there’s the Reidian clock management I crave.

hippofant

Steelers all be like, what are penalties, what are rules?

Horatio Cornblower

Did the other team make the mistake of honoring a deceased member with the initials ‘DTF’?

Horatio Cornblower

What do you get when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?

Well, if you’re Washington and the irresistible force is the Giants’ O-line’s desire to move backwards, and the immovable object is Eli in the pocket, you get 5 sacks before the 3rd quarter ends,

Mr. Ayo

With a sprinkling of interceptions.

Mr. Ayo

Help the all you want refs, but #ThePauls gotta Paul.

Petronel

“Excellent Globetrotters ball spin after the play, plus five yards, first down”

The Maestro

Everyone loves it when Khunt gets on top of a man like that!

Horatio Cornblower

C’mon Fox, that graphic is completely inappropriate. You know damn well Eli isn’t allowed to ride roller coasters.

...

“BUT I BROUGHT MY OWN SAWDUST THIS TIME!!”

Mr. Ayo

KHUNT!

King Hippo

give Andy Reid credit for having the guts to PROPERLY go for it, plus a spectacular play call.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think we’ve ever questioned Andy’s gut.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently Tony Romo’s college coach just died. I would imagine that Tony wasn’t asked to be a pallbearer, for fear that he would have fumbled the casket as they approached the burial site.

King Hippo

Guess what “college” that Switzer “graduated” from? 😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

I presume I am probably disqualified from answeringz?

Horatio Cornblower

“NUC! NCU UNC!”

University of North Carolina Class of 2019, chanting in unison.

The Maestro

Clown College?

The Maestro

I revise my original answer. Hollywood Upstairs Medical School!

LemonJello

Upstairs Back Alley Lawyer School?

King Hippo

FUCKING DUMBASSES. And the refs almost fucked up the call!!!

King Hippo

Just don’t look! Just don’t look! – Buster Skrene

Smithchez

It’s his first game back from injury. Don’t worry, he’ll give up many more touchdowns and commit many more penalties once he gets back into the swing of things.

King Hippo

I maintain there are few sights in life more incongruous than Todd Bowles in poofball hat.

blaxabbath

Interesting. While other teams are looking for QBs who can run as well as pass, the Giants are going with a QB that does neither.

King Hippo

Bollo del Verdad es wildcat ahora

King Hippo

Hippo es todos thingos