Sorry, I have had techincal dificil in addition to the familial bullshit of Sunday night. The shit rain, it is unceasing.
Week 8 was NFC “Prove It” Week, and we can say for certain that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! and the Saints are for real, and seemingly on collision course. Wait a minute, they play next Sunday at 4:25! If you aren’t blacked out, you get this on Fox, and it will no doubt be worth your time. 8-0 @ 6-1.
A.A. Ron and pals had no intention of making things easy for the new kings of the block, and it was a 58-minute dogfight…until a fumbled kickoff denied a visibly pissed off Rodgers a chance to answer LA’s go-ahead score. This was followed by something remarkable in today’s NFL – a truly professional, selfless act. On 3rd and 11, Todd Gurley broke open on a beautifully designed toss play (great timeout by the OKC bomber, NEVER stop coaching), then pulled up and let himself be tackled at the 3. This in the middle of a 2nd consecutive rightful MVP campaign, with gaudy TD records in his sights. But his side was up 2, with 57 seconds on the clock. Suppose Greg the Leg missed the extra point, or had it blocked? One-score game for A.A. Ron. Even if not, why give the Packers any infintesimal chance whatsoever? Gurley is one of maybe 5 guys who would say “fuck my stats, 100% chance to win beats 98%” and that’s the hallmark of a championship team. Would you be ashamed to give anything less than your all with that guy in your locker room? I sure as fuck would.
That said, Bay of Green is nae totally ded yet, as Minny justified my semi-snub with another Captain Dingleberry-infused home loss, 30-20 to N’Awlins. Yeah, it’s Taysom Hill’s world, and we all just livin’ in it. Sean Payton doesn’t like all that praise going to OKC bomber McVay, I guess, and he’s coaching his arse off. Plus, they just have too many weapons to prepare for. I apologize for missing a large chunk of this game, but watching Cousins’ last, hapless TD drive told me all I needed to know. Captain Dingleberry, ahoooooyyyyyy!!!
The Prophecy lives for our Bearistocrats! – 24-10 winners over the Jest and “bye over tie” fractionally in 1st place. Don’t look now, but Bollo de la Verdad may be maturing before our very eyes. I mean, he will always be stupid – but he is quite athletic and seems open to the excellent coaching he is now getting. Chi**** is deffo an interesting team to watch.
Washington’s Redacteds continue to look like the most likely team to lose to the Black Panthers in the Wild Card round or be obliterated by RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! in the Divisional round. I swear, if Adrian Peterson were white, they’d build a statue for him there. But the defensing unit is the real story in the capital. Los Gigantes have turned into a genre of porn so nasty even the Germans won’t watch. Or at least won’t enjoy.
Philly managed to stay alive at 4-4, beating the Dissatisfied Burlesque Customer Fulham Jaguras, 24-18. Other than the cool scoreline, very forgettable game.
Somehow, the SeaTruthers are 4-3, after smacking down the Cuck Lions 28-14. I don’t think I am ok with this. TRIVIA NOTE: Like all clubs, Seattle requires cut players to turn in their playbooks, but Petey insists that everyone keep their complimentary copy of Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Seriously though, read Josh Marshall’s important summation of what’s going on in this sick fucking country/culture.
Raise yo fist!! 36-21 over the previously-hot Ratbirds is no small beer, and Charlotte’s pride and joy just might be hitting their stride. In Charm City, those flannel-clad shouts for LAMAR! may start getting a little louder.
Fucking Yinzers beat #ThePauls 33-18 because that’s how #ThePauls roll.
Oh noes, we can’t forget Birdcano/Tomsulas! This was a shitshow to end all shitshows, which should by all rights have ended at 5-3 or 3-2. But the 2nd half featured TDs, even a decent comeback winner drive by Chosen Rosen. The last play was fitting, though. 7 seconds on the clock and needing a quick 5-7 yards to make a tying FG plausible…the Tomsulas snapped the ball 10 feet over CJ Cregg’s head. 18-15, fin.
The Humps fat-shamed pre-Vegas 42-28, causing the crowd to boo. Man, when you lose the Black Hole…
Oh yeah, of course the Chefs beat the Donks in Arrowhead. Sun came up this morning, too. Nice of them to get the backdoor cover on a late FG, though. Not that I bet it, but still. ENTROPY!! Kermit the Frog continues to look like the 2nd most promising QB in the NFL, after Baby Buster. Even though he’s on KC, I hope he stays healthy. Fun to watch.
Finally, the Striped Pylons bungled away an 18-point lead to BloodSugarFitzMagic, but pulled the winning FG out of they asses, anyway. 37-34, thanks almost entirely to Beatie Mixon’s first half dominance and Rapey Jameis’ turnovers…constantly. Cincy is such a weird team. They have the components to be good, I just don’t know if they can or will pull them together in time.
See y’all next week. SHALOM!