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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
Week 10. I still have no idea what the deal with 75% of the NFL team is this year (usually I’m around 50%, honestly). Not that this should really matter for this weekly hit piece but I do try to spread around the attention. But when there’s about four really good teams, five atrocious teams, and a big blob of ‘potential’ in-between — I don’t know, here’s a guy hitting the uprights like one-half dozen times?
Nah. Please see below instead.
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The last time I saw a pile-driver like that Steve Austin broke his neck.
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I haven’t seen Tennessee’s field lines fuck up the other team like this since that play-off game against the Bills.
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This hit was so hard it raised Ben’s reading level to 4th grade.
By the way, not sure why I bothered with this one, since LemonJello locked this one up and salted it away with that Shazier’s toes comment.
Nah, man, you gotta stay in the game. You never know when LemonJello is gonna get popped for a PED violation.
KNOWN AS “HOMER SIMPSON SYNDROME”
…
YOUR BRAIN IS CUSHIONED BY A LAYER OF FLUID ONE-EIGHTH OF AN INCH THICKER THAN NORMAL. IT’S ALMOST AS IF YOU’RE WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET INSIDE YOUR HEAD. WHY, I COULD WALLOP YOU ALL DAY WITH THIS SURGICAL 2×4 WITHOUT EVER KNOCKING YOU DOWN, BUT I HAVE OTHER APPOINTMENTS.
THIS PLAY HERE I CALL IT THE TUNA NET BECAUSE IT WRECKS DOLPHINS AND WE ALL HAVE TO PRETEND TO CARE
“YEAH, FUCK YOU! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?”
–a strawberry
Now everything’s gone grey
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“You know what. I’m actually happy these fuckers left. Oh, yeahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!”
Look, when I want to test if Marvin Lewis knows the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground, I don’t expect some furry to fuck it.
I like to think of this as a metaphor for stumbling towards the end of one’s career.
This game is like that last furry convention where I went into that room labeled BDSM which I thought meant Bengal’s Depression Support for Mascots and was asked top or bottom and I thought they meant bunk beds so I said bottom.
Wow. That was a very… specific reference.
Church camp as a child was very traumatic…….
I thought the Pathers bye was week 4.
Also pictured is all of DFO when trying to watch that “game”.
/through gritted teeth
“Don’t fucking touch me, Buck.”
And when I wake up, this will have all been nothing but a dream…
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“If I really wanted to assault a Texan, you wouldn’t have to wait 13 months to realize it.”
When you’re told that Cardinals and Raiders play each other this weekend.
“Hey look – a tiger enthusiastically going face first on the turf.”
– Unsatisfied Lindsey Vonn
“A black man with something vaguely gun-shaped in his hands? I see he likes to live dangerously.”
“Well, you know, Dan, every player out here was a Communications major in college so he knows what he’s doing there.”
EAGLES FAN 1: Ha ha, look at Dak eat shit!
EAGLES FAN 2: [cannot respond because mouth is full of horse manure]
These Eagles, I call them George W. Bush, because they make a flashy show of support for the troops while failing to achieve the primary objective
/mission accomplished
“See why I only want to pay them 3/5 their salary!?”
“We both know that’s not why, Mr. Richardson.”
https://reddit.app.link/iKSzGKtIOR
“This guy isn’t even good at missing kicks the right way”
–Blair Walsh
Now that’s what I call “battery” right, Eagles fans? Zeke? Nigel Bradham?
“TRIGGERED!”
/pisses pants
/curls up in fetal position
-T. Green
Displaying this kind of football competence is a sure-fire way to get either cut or traded from Jon Gruden’s Raiders.
The coaching staff wasn’t sure that recreating a photo from the flight deck of the Akagi off Midway Island was an appropriate Veteran’s Day tribute, but the league allowed it.
This hit was so brutal, Ryan Shazier felt it in his toes.
oh, outstanding!
Yeah, that gets a handshake.
That’s a candidate for Quotable Of The Year.
Jesus Christ
Good God, man.
THAT COMMENT HAD A FAMILY!
I haven’t seen a ham go down that hard since last Easter.
Andy Reid at Easter Brunch is the eighth wonder of the modern world.
“Usually, when a guy gets blown up that badly, he’s wearing a Semtex suit with Primacord trim.”
“I heard ‘Pollard! Pollard’s coming!’ from the sideline and my knee just gave out on me.”
“Somebody, anybody, give me the Harambe treatment, please! I can’t take much more of this.”
Blacks…saluting troops??
*Fox News explodes*
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/The NFL fines Vets $1,000 each for this service to them.
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“Hey, Who Dey, you’ve just been traded to the Jets.”
“Dear God, please anything but that.”
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“He finishes that well in the bedroom too.”
-G. Bundchen
“Why the fuck do you think I was glad he dumped me for you.”
-B. Moynahan
Kids this is what happens when one takes too many pills to try to dull the pain of what you are about to witness, again.
– King Hippo
You know it’s a bad hit when the other teams trainer rushes out to you.
Was the secret theme of this week’s offerings,”Hello Darkness, My Old Friend”?
Apparently the Bengals mascot received advance notice of Hue Jackson’s hiring.
If the ball wasn’t so inflated, I could run with it.
-T. Brady
Based on the number of fat white assholes screaming at a black man who earns a lot more money than they do I would have assumed this footage was of Don Lemon covering a Trump rally.
Hurt less than hit car with out helmet. Bike go Vroom vroom. Owwie spots fine. Ben get Choco-taco now?
-Ben
“My husband can not [expletive] catch the ball and run with the ball at the same time!”
“Perhaps senpai will notice me when he sees what I have done to this Dolphin.”
I haven’t seen a charger get hurled to the ground with such fury since the last time one of BFC’s flights got delayed.
I also relocated that Charger to Los Angeles, whether or not it was wanted there.
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Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left.
shit, HARF and to the left. HARF into the left is probably better. My comedic timing sucks.
It’s not cheating to use the edit button.
In an NFL First, a player films his own penalty.
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