Hey there, folks that like hanging out while watching the football! Hope that your Thanksgiving is going well and that you were exposed to family members for just the right amount of time. (strangling Aunt Lucy for her political views results in very hushed conversation at the dinner table later on) Best to mail her a pipe bomb a few months down the road when everyone has forgotten your expletive-soaked rejoinder to that tired old sack of hatred. Sure she makes a killer tater tot casserole but her view that Bolivians trying to cross into the U.S. should be crucified on telephone poles is as puzzling as it is disgusting.
TO THE GAME!
Potato Skins/Cowfolk:
Here you are, the cream of the crop in the mighty NFC East. Washington sits atop the standings just one game up on the Dallas squadoo. Both are looking behind their backs (as is most of the league) at the hard-charging 3-7 New York Giants. No matter. The Cowboys are grateful that wr Amari Cooper is donning their jersey. Why not have a ‘name’ guy catch 3 balls for 36 yards instead of some practice squad-er at a tenth of the cost. Old Double J does fancy himself as the guy that’s way smarter than you and that catch rate of 50% that Cooper had last year? 50% is a great return on any investment, he’ll tell you what. Because Mr. Smith wanted to challenge bone repair surgeons with their most complex case to date, a young Colt gets a chance behind center for the Potato Skins. He’s been around for 10 years? But what about this narrative I just thought up? Gotdamn it!
As Andy Reid likes to say, ‘save some gravy for me’.
Good god that was bad. Jimmy Buffett you Rosanned the shit out of that one.
Eugh. This means the Cowboys are going to the playoffs, doesn’t it?
Home saints, home iggles, @ humps, home bucs, at Giants.
Yep. They’re playoff bound.
He’s gonna fucking explode when they send him to the tent.
Reed ded
now Dacteds is too
Garbage time TD, Dacteds cover. Garbage time FG, Non-gendered Cowpersons get it.
Oh, Detroit already destroyed my parlays. The cowboys will cover.
My one bet (Johnny Reb) looks shite so far. I have MOAR fake currency available in my account tomorrow am.
world’s slowest 2-minute drill
AP put his helmet back on. I wonder why?
Colt just couldn’t resist that hot triple-team action.
men all over him again there
yes, buy your wife an exercise bike for Xmas. I’m sure that won’t go over in a way that gets you murdered in your sleep.
I mean, if she wants it and is explicit about it, sure, but you better make damn sure you have something else there for her
in the ad, she says “how did you KNOW!” so they are advertising doing this as TOTES SURPRISE idea.
/even if wifey is super explicit, I would fear it’s a test
I recently read a r/relationships post where a girlfriend was upset that her boyfriend started lifting and that he no longer wanted to go out to eat or drink because it interfered with the diet. The irony of this is that he started lifted after they had a conversation about what they found unattractive about each other and she said he’s too skinny. I genuinely hope he left her for someone hotter and fitter lol
eating dinner at my cousin’s place, I go down to the basement and see his teenage so playing call of duty, I sit down by him and start making snide comments, eventually this conversation happens
Him: ugh, these weapons suck, I never get the stingray or anything good.
Me: do you have a butfour?
Him: huh?
Me: a butfour
Him what is that?
Me: , (now somewhat emphatically): Do you have a bufour?
Him: what is a butfour?
Me: …. for pooping silly
a few seconds to by, then he rolls his eyes
Him: i hate you
The criminal mismanagement of both starting RBs has essentially ended my fantasy week on Thursday afternoon. I fucking HATE that.
Vulture Bibbs, AP!
Reminder, we get the Egg Bowl (coo-coo ka-choo) in 20 minutes.
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!
Nice run Zeke. Now get ready to block. A lot.
Another DAK!down would be nice, indeed. At least he’s outscoring the Mighty Chase Daniel now.
Tomasula sighting!
We want Sanchize! We want SANCHIZE!!!
Back to gay porn for young Colt.
Goddamnit, Amari, stop making Dallas fans happy.
I’m done. Love you bastards. See ya tomorrow.
LOL, Fatty Gruden wears granny glasses
McCoy, Vernon Davis, Adrian Peterson? Who’s running this team, a younger, imitation John Gruden?
90% of the ‘Dacteds throws are to the TEs, one might think the Non-gendered Cowpersons would notice that and adjust coverages.
OF COURSE, right after I give up on him, Cooper goes nuts.
I don’t think he’s dropped a ball yet since he came to Dallas.
He might not be in the perfect place, but he’s in a MUCH better place. He may even smile soon.
Fitz foar me. Smgdh
Why spend time bonding with your family when you can be online instead?
*checks Twitter, sees drawing of the Juggernaut’s flaccid dong*
Yes. Yes… Why bond with the family?
I’m not gonna lie. Everyone in the naut family is jealous of the guy.
If you get a chance to buy meat pies from 90 year-old Iris, you really should.
I’ll buy a meat pie from pretty much anybody. I love those things.
Hey, so if any of you see something called a crossaint loaf for sale, BUY IT. It was insanely good.
“Colt McCoy” is the most gay-porno name ever.
Just nothing but fucking in every corner of a barn.
Texas Style YEE HAW ! ! !
#EverthingsBigger
TIME TO ABANDON THE RUN DAK!
New rule: players can dance and celebrate how ever they want after scoring. However, if they do, a poll of all viewers is taken on whether the extra point try should be revoked for a shitty dance. The poll will of course be taken by every viewer’s viewscreen and built in microphone which cannont be turned off, even by inner party members, and is always listening.
Quinn’s mom approved it when he was wearing a sailor suit
The AFC North has always been at war with the NFC East.
Evan Silva talked Trey Quinn up this week. Teammate at SMU of Courtland Sutton. Same school Beasley came from. Silva is a smart motherfucker.
I looked up Eastwood to see how old he actually is. Entry also contains partial list of his spawn. Dude is the Antonio Cromartie of Carmel California.
Well, don’t leave us hangin’. How old and how many?
88 and “undetermined” (though they list seven).
Nice.
Wasn’t the old Ford Edge, back in the early ’90s, those little Mazda pickups that they slapped Ford badges on and sold in N. America?
I enjoy this song that is now being played in ads, since Tame Impala deserves some sweet residuals cash:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ed6UeDp1ek
I’m going to go out on the limb and say Chase Roullier was given the name Chase because his parents wanted him to be the starting QB of the Cowboys or 2nd baseman of the Cardinals.
The fact that he is a center likely means his parents are disappointed in him
Chase Roullier sounds like a pseudonym that Brett Kavanaugh would use while indulging his gambling addiction.
Kavanaugh seems like the sort to unironically use Max Powers as a pseudonym and get annoyed when you don’t think it’s cool.
“No no no, the name is the thing you mustn’t touch.”
I’m going out on a limb and saying this is not a particularly well-played match
DID YOU NOT SEE MONDAY NIGHT????? IT IS THE SAME GAME.
Wow, that Clint Eastwood reimagining of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series looks like it took a lot of liberties.
Looks like another CGI: The Movie. Can’t wait.
Jesus. He overthrew that so badly it was almost intentional grounding.