Scared you, folks still in the Little Drummer Boy derby, didn’t I? I had to wander into a mall today and it is quite difficult conversing with sales clerks while you have cotton stuffed in your earholes. That’s right, I play to win. I hope the wife is happy with the XXXL pyjamas I bought her…
TO THE GAME!
Chargers/Chiefs:
Here we jizz! Ah… “Is”. Sorry. “Is”. A recent newcomer to the site by the name of Vlad The Impaler asked me the question, What exactly is at stake here? Well, Vladdy, quite a bit. For one thing, the naming rights to Riversbot 9.0. For another, the race to finish more than 10+ wins over the Raiders. This is serious business fellas.
I’m a simple man. While you nerds swallow your ‘next level’ stats like DVOA, WAR, Adjusted Jocks Per Possession, 5th Down Passes Defensed, Time of Possession by Evil Spirits and Missed Tackles by One-Handed Rookie Linebackers, I’m taking a hard look at Points Against and I see that the Bolters are only behind the Ravens, Texans and Titans at 270 in the AFC. It sure do look like Bosa (he wasn’t around for week 1’s 10 point loss) and Company need to find an answer to the equation that Mahomes and Friends have formulated. I say this because Rivers’ TD/Int ratio for his last 4 trips to Arrowhead are sitting at 2/6. “But”, you say, in that nasally voice that I can’t stand, “KC is down to their 3rd string tailback-what about that, Tide Pod for brains?” “Meh”, I reply, “the Chiefs O keeps running (get it?) on all cylinders no matter the circumstance. This is just a plug-in and play scenario”. [scrawls ‘one’ under my name on non-existent blackboard]
Lays Ketchup chips were at one time more ketchupier than they are now. You can’t prove me wrong.
ONE STOP, dickasses
How is there only sixteen total penalties when the referees have throw the flag 20 times in the 4th quarter alone?!
grounding!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V981RXcmH8
Can’t wait to see how Rivers fucks this one up.
Sorry, *Floaty McFloat Face
CONSARNIT!!
The home team is holding onto a one score lead, buried deep in its own territory. Not a good omen when the home stadium plays “Highway to Hell”.
just two first downs, you chucklefucks. AND THE P*TS SHALL BE BONED.
Technically, defensive holding can be called on any play.
— Tonight’s Refs
Saved by the Flag: Rick Monday FanFic
gahhhhhh!!!! damn it RIVERS!!!!
throw a tD pass!!!!
The two seats in the box right in front of the Bengals sideline (Row 1, Seat 1 and 2) for this Sundays game is going for $778 ea. American Dollars. Unless you can throw tomatos at them or reserve the right to jump over the railing and take over as Head Coach, I don’t see it.
That’s pretty good; you should take the money even though it means you have to watch.
farty “marty ball” was overrated
The hell are you talking about?! What about all of those Super Bowls the Chiefs and Bolts played in?
The Browns, too! Don’t forget about the pre-Crisis Browns!
Ooouuu! A new name for Bawlmer: Crisis Era Browns!
AND #ThePauls!
Nice to let them burn 40 more seconds AND help a brutha thread the fantasy needle!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjvVNyBTSP8
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-XNFokmDKrE
let Damien has the touched down PLEAZ
Lookit Andy commit to teh run!
Sitting inches outside the ten describes every douchebro’s frustrated sex life
#26 can play
That’s way over 21.
I’m a little surprised that…. slipped by.
anything with Tim Allen is surely even shittier than Big Bang Theory
Agreed.
Yes, but both are shit.
Except Santa Clause 1 and about 24.3% of 2. Santa Clause 3 didn’t happen, regardless of all evidence to the contrary.
But he proudly represents conservative Hollywood.
“Conservative Hollywood”?
I’ve heard those two words before independently but together its reads as gibberish.
Quit it with your victim-hood shit.
Although most of them suck.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/40-celebrities-who-are-republicans
The only thing I ever saw Tim Allen in was Galaxy Quest and that was pretty good.
Probably not getting those calls against the Patriots or Steelers.
This Andy Reid coached team has the discipline of an Andy Reid coached team
Still better than his parenting.
BOOOM!
BLEERGH BE PRAISED
BLERRGH!!!!!!!!
Well they say keep your eye on the ball.
Cincy is the vortex of hell. You are comprised. KC is Evil.
I thought we were the anus of America?
Also, I’m anti-LA Chargers for them bolting from San Diego.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcMh6GZoFC8
Come on, Tyreek, save that shit for the playoffs.
He did beat the coverage like a pregnant girl friend.
LMAO Tyreek
bahahahaha
DOINK!
It would’ve been better if the ball got wedged in the facemask..
Would that be a catch?
Why for is Mahommes trying to throw left handed?
he’s spawn of the Demon?
Could be.
That defensive holding call was softer than a sculpture of Julius Thomas made out of drier lint.
pretty remarkable defensive adjustment by Clippers du Merde
The commit a penalty on every 3rd down defense? Bold strategy.
Fox couldn’t get the license to the NFL Films footage of Hank Stram???
Too “liberal” for their tastes.
mama mia!!
What are the chances Big Bang Theory is one of Trump’s favorite shows? 95%?
He probably only watches The Apprentice reruns.
No; they play lip service to science; that is a terrible word of the devil in his book.
I said ‘book’; that is the wrong term for him.
Apparently he was unable to grab her pussy.
Both these teams and the Browns need to be in the playoffs.
#ThePauls
I was the VFX compositor on two of these shots.
what about when the guy hits the propeller?
Africa by Pitbull?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhfnTs0RZLs
African pitbulls are great dogs.
It is the South Beach Pitbulls that are small and yappy.
They are the ones on that silly diet.
How does being African impact they racism? Or is they Afrikaans?
the swimming part
They are more inclined to favor the availability of good snacks and disregard race.
Africa by pitbull is what Jeff Sessions calls his dream vacation
how shameful is it that i dont think the remix is that bad?
Gentlemen, I’m home from LAX, Brussels and sweet potatoes are in the oven, and Andy Reid threw a challenge flag. The night is looking up.
Are you home from Brussels or are Brussels in the oven with the sweet potatoes?
Brussels was the name of the call girl.
Yes, I see . . . Carry on then.
I learned very little from Hansel and Gretel
Andy Reid having to only have made three challenges so far this season is a testament to how fortune smiles on the Chiefs in the regular season.
/shut up I know it’s also because they are usually ahead by four touchdowns before something worth challenging ever comes up.
Vance Joseph is one for his last eight.
Vance is basically performance art at this stage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBCrkFB8nvc
It’s way past snoozy time. Can’t believe you guys let me stay up this late. smgdh. I’m gonna be cranky tomorrow.
Nah, I’m gonna say that League MVP is a lot more prestigious than the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award.
h
ttps://thumbs.gfycat.com/PowerfulLoneChrysomelid-size_restricted.gif
Size restricted? WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?
“And what is the nature of the restriction?” – Brett Favre
Big Bang theory is still on tv? Why?
because you touch yourself at night
Can’t do it at night brocky, usually during the family’s nap time is my sweet spot. I will abstain if it makes that show go away.
Millions of people LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it. I am not one of them.
Maybe the forced laugh track makes it hilarious?