I’ve been taking you for granted. It’s partly my nature. Ask my wife or ex-girlfriends. Or my employers. The cycle never breaks. In the beginning I will step in to a new project/relationship/environment/habit with the work ethic of a completely earnest Amish man. I become ill with the thought of frittering away idle time. After all, this will be the project that puts me over the top not only with regards to triggering that great skinner box that would be fame and recognition, but also the one that makes me feel as though I am complete as a writer. I’m not just a blogger. I’m an artist. And this project will become my championship trophy. Something that can never expire once minted.

When those accolades down come in the form of hundreds of thousands of voices screaming out in unison that you are the best, I get lazy. I accept my limitations. I joke about each piece being my “big break” while working at half speed. My verbiage goes from “readable” to “kind of monosyllabic even for Bukowski.”

Maybe the problem is that you expect people to appreciate Bukowski references in a Brooklyn Nets blog on what is ostensibly an NFL fan site. 

<Ignore that voice. Just try to be better, Ian.> 

The point is, where at one point I bothered myself with professionalism in spite of my amateur status, last week I found myself simply watching the games and trusting the process, knowing that I could pull something out of my ass when it came time to punch the keys.

But these posts take work. And for as much as I would have liked to punch those keys, the angles weren’t appearing. I found myself becoming bored by my own work, and I apologize for anybody who muscled their way through the effort. Sometimes you aren’t going to have it, but the bottom line is that I didn’t put in the work.

So for now, until I become comfortably complacent once more, I shall do the work. I will write down notes while the memories are still fresh. And I will drink instead of smoke, so that my fingers will be aggressive and ready to punch any key who looks at it the wrong way. That space bar’s checking out your pinkie, bro.

Of course the evergreen angles abound when LeBron’s Lakers come to town. But I will not resort to hackery by comparing him to DeAndre Jordan as sports bloggers live to do, and I will not attempt to troll the reader just because the greatest player of all time in in the building. Shout out to Big Baller Brand.

I will mention that there was a moment eight years ago when I was really sure that LeBron was going to the Nets. It was a really well thought out take rooted in a few things. 1) It would have been kind of cool for LeBron to be a local sports figure, sure, but also 2) the Brooklyn Nets will have an absolutely electric home dynamic. They were about to become the first major professional sports team since the Dodgers left in the fifties. The borough would surely rally around something like that. Let’s not forget that the team was partially (not really) owned by Jay-Z who was 3) LeBron’s good friend. And 4) the Brooklyn Nets had carved out so much goddamn cap space and could have signed Chris Bosh as well.

Absolutely none of this happened. LeBron couldn’t have cared less about dealing with the New York media, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to spend the 2010 season playing in New Jersey. The Nets do not have an absolutely electric anything. Nobody cares about who is a minority owner when deciding where to play. And if anybody was going to get LeBron and Bosh, the Knicks were much higher on the food chain. Anyway, it would have been really cool if he’d gone to Brooklyn instead of Miami, Cleveland or Los Angeles. Not to be.

On to the game.

Jarrett Allen got a block.

Legit. I realize I’m not breaking any news. You’ve all seen the highlight. Pretty cool play. He’s actually a really talented young big man, and I hope he keeps developing. Also, how has LeBron only been blocked on 9 dunk attempts in his entire career? That’s hard to believe. That means that he’s gone multiple seasons without ever having been blocked on a dunk attempt. Crazy.

Equally impressive was D’Angelo Russell absolutely sticking it to his old team with 22 points and 13 assists. Lonzo Ball had a good game before fouling out as well, so I can’t claim that the Lakers absolutely screwed up by giving up on young talent, but he’s not the bust he was when he’d left Hollywood, and I know that the three late in the game felt good. Also fun was listening to Ian Eagle shout “Old school” whenever Jared Dudley made a play. Look, you can’t just scream “He’s usually a boring dude!” so I appreciate the attempt at rebranding. But give it up to Jared. He made plays down the stretch, including a potentially backbreaking three with a minute to go, right before giving a shout out to the alt right movement.

And with that the home crowd of Lakers fans were silenced. The Nets had extended their win streak over a hungry and worthy opponent, and I begin to have some faith that the playoffs might still be in the picture.

What did Spencer Dinwiddie draw on his shoes?

It’s a tribute to L.A.’s hip hop Mt. Rushmore. It does not include Tupac. I’m sure he heard all about that. But also, damn man, the Nets were literally wearing their Notorious B.I.G. inspired jerseys. I know you’re from LA, and you’re playing the Lakers, but I don’t know man. Thematically, that’s a little off. Maybe if you were in LA for the game it might have made a little more sense.

And then came the hangover. The Chicago Bulls are bad, but the 2nd half of a back to back after beating LeBron James is always a sketchy proposition. I wanted to have confidence, look at the schedule and declare “That’s a win.” The Bulls were 7-24 and seemingly on the verge of murdering their new head coach after firing his predecessor. But those second games in as many days are tricky. I didn’t expect for the legs to be there. And they weren’t.

The game was a mess. I’m tempted to write “The less said the better,” but that’s a cop out, and I have to remind myself that people do not read Infinite Nets to review some beautiful machine, but one in which things occasionally fall apart in entirely predictable ways. Keep in mind, the Nets did win this game. So let’s try to find things to talk about.

The floor seemed like it might have been slippery. There was an incident in the first half where a woman sitting court side spilled her drink on the court, and Bulls head coach Jim Boylen being a total cop who realizes those girls wouldn’t be in to him anyway, made sure to make a big deal about everything, pointing them out to the refs. I’d like to say that this was him being funny and play acting the part of the curmudgeon, but by all accounts that have come out recently, he seems like a dick. So I’m 65% certain he was being serious. But that incident aside, I kept seeing the Nets losing control of their dribble, as if the ball had hit one of those infamous dead spots that the Boston Celtics were always known to have kept. Is there moisture from a Blackhawks game still on the court? Did they lube their wood? Or did the Nets just forget how to dribble a basketball? I guess anything is possible. Seemed like a slippery floor though.

Aside from that, and the sheer number of bad shots being taken by Brooklyn (the score at halftime was 40-38, which is pretty low), my mind drifted. The YES broadcast team tried to take solace in the fact that the Nets almost always win when their opponent is held to under 100 points, but often times lose when their opponent scores 110 or more. This does not seem like mind breaking stuff. Typically when you don’t let your opponent score very much, you have a better shot of winning than if you allow a lot of points. But I was never that great with the math. I’d be willing to bet the Nets tend to win more games in which they score a bunch of points as well. But I haven’t personally crunched those numbers.

What did Spencer Dinwiddie draw on his shoes?

Barry. Chicago. I get it. I bet Trump complained about how many shots were taken in Chicago. By the way, did you know they’re going to redesign Air Force One? It won’t look like what Spencer has on his shoe. I never had much of an affinity for the old design, but I trust that the new one will look like absolute hot diarrhea.

They lost. That’s fine. I’m thrilled they were able to get the winning streak to seven games. They’re really still right in the middle of the playoff race. Of course the real season begins on Christmas. That’s the general consensus among NBA heads. The real teams just kind of half ass it for the first two and a half months, and then they turn on the afterburners. It makes sense. The talent gap between the truly good and the mediocre is immense. The Warriors can essentially sleepwalk for months, make the playoffs and know that everything is going to be fine.

I guess that’s for the best. I don’t want the games to matter much right now. There are too many distractions with the holidays on the horizon, and the looming spectrum of us moving. We can’t afford this neighborhood. Or we can, but we can’t actually save any money while setting so much of our paycheck on fire to pay the rent. Bay Ridge is calling, though our demands are sky high. It must be a true two bedroom and not a railroad. It can’t be a walk up. It has to fit in our budget, which is probably lower than it should be, but I insist on saving $500 a month for the added inconvenience of traversing the R train each and every day. I want a dishwasher. My wife wants closet space. They must accept our cat. We don’t want a landlord living below us, because my wife is extremely loud and has never even considered using her indoor voice. The schools must be excellent. The neighborhood should be charming. We don’t want a long walk to the subway. What’s the parking situation? Does the broker give us the creeps? We won’t pay more than one month’s rent as a broker fee. We will not move right away. How old are the appliances? How quiet is that street? I want it quiet, but not too quiet, you know?

So far we’ve had a few options that for whatever reason we didn’t fall in love with, and consequently didn’t take. There is one that fit most of our needs, but the place needs work, and the property manager doesn’t know anything about it’s condition. I’d asked to tour with him and he said that the tenants need to be there to let us in, because apparently he’s the only property manager in America that doesn’t have a spare key. Good to know I’ll apparently have complete freedom once I get in there. I’m told that once the tenants move out in a week we’ll have a chance to really take a look. But I’ve been told things regarding this apartment for over a month, and have grown disillusioned. Meanwhile the broker is telling me that if I just put $100 down for a credit check, he’s sure we’ll find out that they’ll agree to all of our conditions. Hey man, why stop there? Why don’t I just give you my debit card and pin number. You seem like a trustworthy guy.

Another broker told us his fee was 15%. I told him no. He told me he could knock $100 off the rent. I said it was still too much. He told me he could knock $200 off the rent. Wait, why the fuck is the landlord about to knock $200 off the rent? That’s $2,400 a year that they’re just throwing away? And why do you want $400 as a deposit, again? So I give you $400, and then if I don’t pass the credit check you give me back $350? Fuck you. Also, the guy doesn’t make eye contact. But that’s what you get for going through Shifty Eyes Realty.

Never move.

What did Spencer Dinwiddie draw on his shoes?

Oh no. Don’t tell me Spencer is a “If you ever read the comics…” guy. I pray for the Comic Book guy who steps to this guy, with his dedication to the craft. I bet he pulls out deep cut references on everybody. Do not even come to this guy with a What If episode that doesn’t take place in the actual canon of the storyline.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVlGI_XTzH4

The Nets wrap up their week on the antepenultimate* night of the Christmas season against the lowly Phoenix Suns. And to sweeten things, the Suns are playing the second night of a back to back on the road. The Nets aren’t even getting fresh Suns. They’re getting worn out and tired Suns. You really should beat those Suns. They’ve been at home for what feels like the past month, and they’ve just wrapped a fairly soft part of the schedule, so this game represented their last chance to fatten up before setting out on a more challenging run of games. Annoyingly, the game should have been wrapped with five minutes to go and a 20 point lead, and before anybody knew it, the lead was down to 13 with three to go. These are the Suns. You should never let the Suns hang around for a second longer than necessary. In the end they won by eight. Fine. All wins count the same. Though it would have been cool if they could have a night where they dumped them by 35 and gave their deep bench some garbage time minutes.

*I absolutely hate how in the last five years everybody started writing penultimate when they mean next to last. You don’t need to dress up next to last.

The interesting part to me was what came after the game. Back when the Nets beat the Lakers, D’Angelo Russell, who was traded away from the Lakers along with Timofey Mozgov’s contract for Brook Lopez, was asked what it was like beating his old team with an all around great performance and an absolute dagger of a three at the end. D’Angelo, who often said dumb things as a member of the Lakers, answered boringly and extremely diplomatically.

Okay, D’Angelo. We all know it felt good. Now you’re just trolling us with your Derek Jeter impersonation.

Last night, the Nets reporters asked Jared Dudley the same thing about beating the Phoenix Suns. You’ll remember that I lightly dumped on Jared Dudley a few weeks back. 

Well, Jared took the opportunity to keep it very real, first stressing that the Suns are a team that they should beat. Then when asked about the importance of getting a win before beginning a tough stretch Jared quickly mentioned that yeah, sticking it to his old team was a big deal.

“I would say for me personally, any time that you can play the Suns, a team that traded me basically for nothing, a player they didn’t even want, and so for that franchise to be able to come out there and just get two dubs on these guys and get wins, to keep it moving, it feels good. No, it feels good, you know I had a lot of DNPs over there so to come out there and get a couple dagger threes, it feels good for me.”

This is actually not new for Jared Dudley. Here he is a few days ago, just casually lobbing shots at one of the five greatest NBA players of all time.

My man.

I like to think that Spencer Dinwiddie is the IDGAF leader of the team, but Jared Dudley is just calling out everybody. I’m waiting for him to release a diss track on Russell Westbrook.

What did Spencer Dinwiddie draw on his shoes?

Nothing. Okay then.

The Brooklyn Nets are 16-19 and in 9th place in the Eastern Conference.