Speaking of which, I think we should all take two years off from our current responsibilities and dig an irrigation ditch in Ghana. WHOSE WITH ME? Nobody? Fine then, I’m not going either.
TO THE GAME!
MOVE BOMBERS/YOUNG SATCHMO’S:
Do you want a super-spooky stat that will soil your undergarments once you hear it? C’mon, at least you’ll have a legit excuse for your skidmark-laden Underoos for the very first time. (Mom is such a bitch!) Okay, here goes-
The last (and first) time that the Saints won it all back in ’09 their only three losses were to the Cowboys, Bucs and Panthers. This year’s three losses have been to those exact three squadoo’s!
[waits patiently while the commentariat changes]
Something that favors them Saints is that they’ve not lost a playoff game at home since ’93. But one troubling thing I mathed is that N.O. put up 40+ points six times this year but the last time they did so was two months ago. Over the last five weeks they’ve averaged a paltry 19 per game.
One Eagler you might want to keep an eye is rook cb Avonte Maddox. He’s played nickel corner, safety and as of a few weeks ago was put at outside corner. I don’t know if he’ll cover fellow rook Tre’Quan Smith or Mike Scott but if either of them venture out into the parking lot, he’ll be there. He’s an ‘outside’ corner, you see…*
*[inner voice] You went ahead and explained your stupid joke! It feels like I don’t know you anymore.
Do that thing where you dribble inanities all over your keyboard. I love that shit!
Wow. I’m in utter shock, of which there apparently is a good kind.
LARGE. RICHARD. NICHOLAS.
Got a double whammy to follow my gastric surgery: diabetic foot ulcer on the left big toe which requires a boot to keep all pressure off it, and posterior tibial tendon dysfunction on the right ankle, which requires an ankle brace and maybe surgery (MRI scheduled for Tuesday). So I can identify and empathize with these big fat guys writhing in pain with leg injuries.
On the bright side, lost 43 lbs. in 32 days.
Shit, hang in there brother. It took a little time, but mine cleared up about 95% of all of the health problems I had going in, including pre-diabetes.
I’ll either muddle through it or power through it somehow. Bright side is work is cool with me working from home as long as the doc says I need to. Though after 5 weeks I am getting a bit of cabin fever.
Game. Over.
Better make sure to put the meat wagon cart on the battery charger at halftime.
there is nothing “performance” about a fucking crossover suv, ford
/Foles throws way out of bounds
Announcer: “There was a miscommunication there”.
Which is probably why he threw it away.
YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!
Oh fuck. It’s gonna be one of these games.
The chili is simmering… Can’t wait to wake up at 3am with severe stomach distress.
Where is “urine” on the Bud Light ingredient list?
Urine has flavor.
Bear Grylls?
Chrissake, are we going to see a rerun of the early game, with the Saints reprising the role of the Chargers and the Iggles that of the Pats? I’m really hoping this one won’t be so fucking boring.
Howdy. Fuck the Pats. Be prepared for a lot of Sunny references.
Eagles imposing their will on New Orleans exactly as we all predicted
The Saints can’t refuse. Because of The Implication.
“Can’t wait to read their will.”
-Saints, 4th quarter
This has nothing to do with anything. You’re welcome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9v4AL3SquY
Everyone but Brees looks like they’ve given up already
Serves em right as someone who had Brees on the fantasy playoffs sobs
Hoo baby, almost again
Heh, just imagine – if Sean Payton wasn’t pulling those stupid “motivational” stunts and instead was focusing on actually preppin’ for the game. Plus after the Minneapolis Miracle I’d probably try to y’know, stop pinching Karma in the butt 😀
on average one home team divisional weekend falls
uh oh gumbo
I find yoir ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I like the commercial where the dad tries to get his daughter laid over the phone
As if any guy is turning her down because dinner wasn’t tasty enough….
“I’m so sorry I ruined dinner” she says tearfully
“Oh, that’s ok, don’t cry” he says understandingly, pushing her head down toward his crotch
The DL talk trying to get the OL to false start is going to be interesting this game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx_G2a2hL6U
He has a wife, you know…
The Superdome is quiet now, except for a few confused voices saying “Gumbo?” to each other.
Biggius. Dickius. Nicholas.
Smallwood with a good hard run…. That game will be one looooong dick joke,eh?
That is carson wentz’s bf, he just cucked him.
BDN!!!
EAGLES BY 100!
BIG.
DICK.
NICK!!!!
Foles completing a pass to Smallwood is a reminder that no matter what your size, you can be a winner!
“Love his motion!”
-The Ocean
Foles . Sproles. Foles to sproles. Sproles hits the hole. Brees. Bees? Beads?
Brees. Throws INTs.
My favorite part of remembering Fuck Da Eagles woman is that it reminds me that Maxim used to be a thing.
It’s not? I think I saw it in an airport kiosk last time I was stateside like 2-3 months ago?
If it still exists, it’s not culturally relevant.
Before porn was easily available and virus free it was the only way to see thousands of mostly naked women online.
I remember paying attention to Maxim when I was younger.
Then at some point I realised they had shit taste in women. Even if their proclivities matched your taste, they were surprisingly awful at finding attractive women and portraying them in an attractive light. (Rub them in oil, adorn them in oddly fabricky swimsuits, shine bright lights upon them from behind the camera, photoshop liberally.)
BIG DICK NICK AND WENDEL SMALLWOOD AND JERRY ITSA’IGHT
Dat wuz kuik 😀
Good carry by Mypenis.
Who let Archie Manning on the field?
That throw was more like Cooper.
Taysom time. Brees sucks.
Lest we forget…
The only edition of Maxim I ever bought. <3
Wat.
what
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
One of the homeless guys!
LET’S GO, HUNG GUNS!
Eagles got this. There wasn’t an upset yet this week.
Let’s go Foals!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khQG7t9pzmo
Who can forget Saints playoff heroes like Darren Sharper
Many many women?
Hank Basket?
saints fans in atlanta during super bowl week would be…interesting.
Basketball playing TEs have evolved into basketball playing QBs. Clearly, Basketball is the sport of choice for all footballers.
Its a good thing they didn’t mix up the smoke machines and flame throwers.
Properly lubricated for what i am about to take.
The Interstate Highway System was proclaimed completed on October 14, 1992 with the completion of I-70 though Glenwood Canyon despite several gaps in the system.
What? You asked for inanities.
And yet I-95 had a gap in it until last year!
Breezewood, PA laughs at your gap!
I like that I have already changed the channel to this game even though there is 3:00 left in Chargers-Patriots.
My kid has been telling me about Black Mirror on Netflix. Think I’ll watch an episode first.
“You won’t like it.”
-D. Trump, Washington, DC.
Fuck it. Eagles by 50. All in. Let’s do this already.