2018 Quotables – Conference Finals Weekend (Results)

You guys ready for some PROFESSIONAL BOWL action this weekend?! As someone who didn’t watch the SKILLS SHOWDOWN last night, I know I sure am not! That being said, I’m expecting a plethora of good material for next week, where Quoteables will march on, Hate Week and all. It’s gonna be good.

How’s my weekend going to be, you ask? Aw, that’s nice of you. I am shockingly going to a Beer Fest. Specifically, this Beer Fest, which focuses almost entirely on bourbon barrel aged beers. And they give 5 oz pours per beer, as opposed to the 1-2 oz usually associated with these things. It’s going to be a shit show, but the fact that I know most of 73 breweries that are going and have almost nothing but good things to say about them all, I am pretty excited. As far as it goes, I’m turning 30 in about 3 weeks time, and don’t expect that my liver will allow me to continue to do this in the future, which is probably a good thing. That being said, if I don’t die, there will be a Boots on the Ground report, time and hangover permitting.

Now, for the results, and boy were there some good ones. Enjoy!

“As always the white man profits from black on black violence.” – nomonkeyfun

“Meanwhile, on a couch in rural Tennessee, Bernard Pollard weeps like Iron Eyes Cody at what has become of his beloved National Football League.” – Beerguyrob

““Excellent form! 8.5 teabags out of 10.” – P. Manning” ArmedandHammered

“‘Here you go, Julian. Remember, when you wear these gloves, nothing can touch you, baby!’
– A. Hernandez” – Fronkenshteen

“THIS NICKELL ROBEY-COLEMAN I CALL THIS GUY SPINAL TAP GUITAR AMP BECAUSE HE GOES STRAIGHT TO 11” – SonOfSpam

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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BrettFavresColonoscopyMoose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprisedDon TSonOfSpam Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So many solid entries this week. Well done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How the hell did I miss

““Excellent form! 8.5 teabags out of 10.” – P. Manning” ArmedandHammered

Brilliant!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

FUCK THE P*TS
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Seriously. Fuck ’em sideways until they die.
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Don T

Three weeks, eh? Figures…
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This was a good batch. Kudos to everyone who made the cut.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also, LCSS deserves some kudos for the following quip in the staff lounge:

RIKKI: Has anyone here read the Three Body Problem?

LCSS: Is Three Body Problem an Aaron Hernandez biography?

SonOfSpam

That was ever so good.