Friday Evening Open Thread

Due to extenuating circumstances (“Nailed the Vocab words!” – Blair W.), today’s installment of Sexy Friday is being brought to you by the pervert that brought you AVN Week.

Balls: Why thank you, TWBS, for such a gracious introduction!

TWBS: I’m not here and you are writing this.

Balls: Oh yeah. Hey, that chick we saw at lunch today was pretty cute, right?

TWBS: Again, I’m not here, you are talking to yourself, and you should probably seek professional help.

Balls: Now, that’s not nice!

TWBS: Seriously? You’re gonna keep this up the whole post?

Balls: Fine! I guess not. BE that way!

TWBS:

***

Dr. TWBS always has something to share in these Sexy Friday posts and I’ve often read them, thinking, “What can I, a simple Balls, share with the Commentist Party?”

The answer is, “Not much.”

You guys pretty much know me through my writing. If I come off as a bit of an asshole, a bit of a perv, and a person that loves to push people’s buttons, then that’s pretty close to the real me.

Granted, I do have some redeeming qualities, but very few people ever get to see them. It’s better that way.

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the things that person likes. I’m guessing this post will tell you a lot more about me.

Without further ado, TO THE CHEESECAKE!!

Yum!

Updated for 2019:

Friend and confidant indeed…
Bailey v Jennifer, WHO YA GOT?

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m about to ruin your childhood:

Always remember, beans don’t burn on the grill!
$10 says her name is Moana
With Jello Rohypnol Shots!
Captain Stuck-in? Wait, I had something for this…
FFS, an Asian Mr. Roarke?!?
Honestly, Mrs. Howell in this one…
Rub my lamp, Jeanie!
Ron Jeremy as Larry is genius.
Linda’s never been hotter
DY-NO-MITE!
SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!
I’M COMING ELIZABETH!
I’m surprised they didn’t go with “He’s got a tool for every occasion”. IT’S RIGHT THERE!
Apparently, better than Fuller House
This is tremendous casting
Masturbation is painless.
Nina Hartley as Endora is perfect
Yes, Beaverly Hillbillies exists…
Nanu Nanu
I wonder if they do jumps?
Top 5 cosplay: Sexy Velma
Love the title and subtitle
You should see the stills I found…
Here, the Carlton means something completely different
Coffee Brown is a great porn name.
Schmiel! Schmazel!
Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Totally radical blooper reel, y’all!
Again, Ron Jeremy as Louie DePalma is perfect.
NOOOOOOORM!!!
The sex sound effects better be like the original show

Are there any fond childhood memories I haven’t completely destroyed? Please share in the comments!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Subscribe
Notify of
172 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

He looks like someone pasted googly eyes over him with MS Paint
comment image

Unsurprised

Hey DJ keep playin’ that song all niiiiight and on and on and on …
comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I am home!

Unsurprised

I legit thought of you when I saw this.

Unsurprised

New gif
comment image

Unsurprised

I remade some gifs.
comment image

Unsurprised

This looks better as a video due to length (Phrasing!)
comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Component clips

1.comment image

2.comment image

3.comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit. I’m drunk.

yeah right

Good to hear from another drunken party.

Come on down to San Diego County we’re going to celebrate Low Commander’s birthday with dignity.

And drinks!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I lost the thread on when. I need to juggle trips to SD with work and wedding planning travel.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry I’ve been awol this week. Work sucked. Send in questions to [email protected] and I’ll get the advice mailbag back up and running asap.

yeah right

I’m in my hotel room watching an edited version of Predator and I feel like I should live blog some of it.

Jesse Ventura definitely had time to bleed.

Arnold did ALL the steroids.

As soon as Anna started speaking English they should have given her to the predator.

Did production values mean nothing?

I’m still watching goddamnit.

yeah right

Long Tall Sally she built sweet.

yeah right

Carl Weathers had some dedication but not near the steroid connection as Arnold.

Oh shit.

Max is strawberry preserves.

yeah right

And now Carl “Just call me lefty” has time to bleed too.

yeah right

So we know the line but why did he tell the filthy sandinista to “Get to the choppa?!”

Nothing good can come from this.

yeah right

Ahnold is going to give this filthy alien a himena.

yeah right

Now the predator is freeze drying bits of his kills. Jeffrey Dahmer thinks this is metal as fuck.

yeah right

I’m watching the hacked up version of Predator on AMC and their about midnight ads consist of boner pills and knives.

What is your core audience again AMC?

yeah right

Arnold is lathered in whale blubber and angst.

yeah right

I’m certain the similarities of Arnold covered in muck from head to toe have nothing to do with Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now.

Nope. Strictly coincidence. Move along.

yeah right

The predator in this version looks like a stream lined Chrysler Lebaron nothing like the modern Dodge Chargers that all the noisy kids are driving. Old School.

yeah right

Force Factor commercial just showed a gas handle going into a tank followed by a bursting bottle of bubbly.

I’m missing the connection.

yeah right

Oh shit Arnold’s got a nuclear harpoon.

yeah right

A quick rinse in the pond and he’s sexy as an Austrian steroid abusing motherfucker.

yeah right

Dude! The Predator vapes!

yeah right

He truly is an ugly motherfucker.
With crab claws for jowls.

yeah right

Seriously? He crushed the predator with a rolling pin?

yeah right

Predator is weak as fuck. He just spit in his own face.

yeah right

By the way Mac the line is “Long Tall Sally, she’s built for speed, she’s got everything that Uncle John needs.”

Do some fucking research, Marine!

Unsurprised

He’s Army. He and JV have lighters with the Special Forces insignia.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Faye Reagan was in the wkrp porn parody?

I mean, who are these people?

yeah right

She had to have been Bailey Quarters which in itself is a fantastic porn name.

Unsurprised

I could never dig her for some reason I can’t even remember anymore, which is weird since she hits so many of my buttons. Of course, no Lauren Phillips and to a lesser extent Lena Paul and a few newcomers way further behind her hit those buttons and more. Goddamn redheaded Amazon. Woooo.