AFLW Round Seven 2019

This week,

Nice guernsey!
Those are nice too!


Someone fucked up the high ten

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

AFLW Round 7 Recaps

Round 7 began with my Geelong Cats taking on the GWS Giants in Canberra, the Giants’ second home. A win would have put the Cats in the finals.

As is now usual, everything started well as the Cats’s suffocating defense held the Giants to 13 points for the first quarter and 15 points for the half.

The problem, AGAIN, was that the Cats couldn’t score any points. They were held to one behind in the first and one more in the second.

While that meant the game was still within reach, it also meant that the Cats would run out of steam in the second half as the strain was too much.

Sure enough, the Giants broke through on their way to a decisive rout.

Here are the highlights:

GWS Giants 41 Geelong Cats 10

On proper Friday night, the Melbourne Demons hosted the red-hot Adelaide Crows and, quite frankly, got run out of the park.

The Crows held the Demons scoreless for the entire first half! In the meantime, they scored at will.

In the end, the Demons matched the AFLW record for lowest score with one solitary goal and two behinds. Adelaide clinched top spot in Conference A.

Here are the highlights:

Adelaide Crows 68 Melbourne Demons 8

The clash between the Fremantle Dockers and the North Melbourne Tasmanian Kangaroos ended up being an Elimination final after Adelaide’s win. A tie would have sent the Roos to the Preliminary final, so the Dockers had to win.

Luckily, the game was in Perth, where the Dockers and Eagles usually enjoy a nice home-field advantage. Also, the Dockers brought their intensity from the very beginning as they held the Roos scoreless in the first quarter while scoring 13 points.

The dominance continued from there as the Roos were never really able to get on track. After a sterling start, the Roos are now eliminated with Fremantle taking second place in Conference A.

Here are the highlights:

Fremantle Dockers 52 North Melbourne Tasmanian Kangaroos 25

I tuned in to the Collingwood-Brisbane game as I had several rooting interests: 1) This was a win-and-in scenario for the Lions; 2) This was the Pies’ last chance for a win in 2019; and 3) If the Pies somehow won, that would mean that the Cats would somehow back their way into finals.

Something got into the Pies as they started off the game very well and honestly outplayed the Lions for the first two quarters as they built up a 16 point Half Time lead.

The Lions came roaring back (sorry) in the third to narrow the margin, but they will rue their inaccuracy in front of goal. Too many times, they settled for behinds instead of goals and that was that. The Pies won for the first time this season and sent the Lions home and the Cats to the finals.

Here are the highlights:

Collingwood Magpies 25 Brisbane Lions 19

The last game became meaningless, as I mentioned last week, as soon as the Lions lost to the Pies. I did watch the first quarter and I did greatly enjoy the guernseys both teams were wearing for AFLW Pride Day.

In the morning, I saw that the Carlton Blues were able to hold off a furious fourth quarter comeback by the Doggies.

Here are the highlights:

Western Bulldogs 38 Carlton Blues 41

Let’s take a look at the ladders, shall we?



This year, since we have two new teams, the ladder will be split up into TWO ladders, one for each conference. Here are the final Home and Away standings:

Conference A

1Adelaide Crows61024212.9
2Fremantle Dockers61024141.2
3North Melbourne Kangaroos52020123.1
4Melbourne Demons 43016111.2
5Western Bulldogs250875.3

Conference B

1Carlton Blues4301699.6
2Geelong Cats3401265.5
3GWS Giants250870.5
4Brisbane Lions250870.4
5Collingwood Magpies160466.7


Lady Footy Tipping Contest

The Footy Tipping Contest for AFLW is wrapping up! We go through the Grand Final, so there are three games left to tip!

Here are the standings after Round Seven:

Total TipsTotal Margin
1Son of Spam44024179
3Mr. Ayo23522180
4Dolph Ucker45422203
6Joliet Jake Delhomme42520166
8Game Time Decision23116165

Congratulations to SonofSpam, Dolph Ucker, and Joliet Jake Delhomme for getting top scores this week!

Unfortunately, Game Time Decision forgot to put the Footy Tips, so that broke our streak. It’s ok, we’ll get it next week! The results this week mean that the competition is down to four tippers. Remember, boys, that we will tip the Preliminary Finals as well as the Grand Final!



AFLW Preliminary Finals

There are only three games left: Two Preliminary Finals and the Grand Final. Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, March 22, 2019

8:45 PM – Carlton Blues v Fremantle Dockers at Ikon Park

The Dockers have gone further than ever before in their short AFLW history and will have to show the Conference A dominance on the road.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

7:10 PM – Adelaide Crows v Geelong Cats at Adelaide Oval

Geelong lucked into a finals berth and will have to play the game of their lives to prevent the Crows from advancing to the Grand Final once again.


AFL Round 1!

As a reminder, all the games are available to watch on the Watch AFL app. If you are an International Member of one of the AFL clubs, this is included in your membership. If not, you can subscribe directly through the Watch AFL website:

For $150 per year, you get to see live every AFLW game and all AFL games up to and including the Grand Final. You also get full game replays of every game I mentioned in the prior sentence as well as the live feed of the Fox Footy channel from Australia.

Fox Soccer Plus also shows most games live. However, there is an extra charge for that channel and if you’re only interested in AFL, getting the Watch AFL yearly subscription is much cheaper and you get the benefit of replays without having to take the time to record games.

Here is this week’s schedule (all times Pacific):

Thursday, March 21, 2019

1:20 AM (Late Wednesday Night) – Carlton Blues v Richmond Tigers at the MCG

Friday, March 22, 2019

1:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Collingwood Magpies v Geelong Cats at the MCG

7:45 PM – Melbourne Demons v Port Adelaide Power at the MCG

10:35 PM – Adelaide Crows v Hawthorn Hawks at Adelaide Oval

Saturday, March 23, 2019

1:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – Western Bulldogs v Sydney Swans at Marvel Stadium

2:20 AM (Late Friday Night) – Brisbane Lions v West Coast Eagles at The Gabba

7:10 PM – St. Kilda Saints v Gold Coast Suns at Marvel Stadium

9:20 PM – GWS Giants v Essendon Bombers at Spotless Stadium

Sunday, March 24, 2019

12:20 AM (Late Saturday Night) – Fremantle Dockers v North Melbourne Kangaroos at Optus Stadium


That’s all for this week. Please remember that we have a SEPARATE Footy Tipping Contest for the AFL. The link is as follows:

Once again, I will offer a prize to the winner provided we have more than 10 tippers. Games start this week, so make sure you sign up and get your tips in! See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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AFL Beat 2019 Round 1 + AFLW Preliminary Finals – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] you remember from last week, I posted a picture of Carlton’s Tayla Harris with the caption, “Nice guernsey!” […]

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t help but notice that Robert Kraft isn’t on the list of tippers.

No wonder he got busted.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

In U.S. presidential elections, let this simple rule guide you:

Never vote for anybody from New York or Texas

This probably applies to Canadian elections too.


You know, if you’re going to split up my scores then of course I’m going to be last and second-to-last.

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Pretty sure he thinks I’m Blax, just how Trump sees all of us Democrats



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Game Time Decision

i remembered that I needed to put the picks in, but that was Sunday morning, and all the games has played by then
/hangs head in shame
// have this weeks picks in already