Infinite Nets Game 79: Four Cigarettes To Go

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
Ian Scott McCormick

How did I do this every night before? Remember that? I did these after every game. That was poorly conceived. Granted, that’s how you become a #thing but still, how does anybody talk this much about basketball. Are there new insights? For one team? Every single game? Frankly, I’m surprised Bill Simmons doesn’t write more about 90210. Am I supposed to write about Ed Davis every night?

I thought that I could push myself to absorb these games, but it’s a lost cause. I can’t experience the game as it was intended. Neither can the Nets from what it seems. The bottom line is that the game simply can’t exist as anything other than ambient noise, briefly punctuated by the under-appreciated Ian Eagle shouting “Major Highlight” whenever somebody makes a layup in transition. Maybe he’s selling it. This is a man who called Game 6 of the 2013 Finals where Ray Allen hoisted up an ice cold corner three. He didn’t call that a Major Highlight. I’m rambling again. Whatever. You work a full shift, take a 70 minute commute back home and get greeted with a child who really wants to play, and your brain will turn into putty.

They lost again. This time by 10. I can’t even get mad. It’s just an inevitability. They’re probably going to lose their next game in Milwaukee as well. And even though you’d think Indiana would just rest their starters for the playoffs, I’m sure they Pacers will try to ugly their way to a win as well. It almost seems destined for it all to come down to the Nets and Heat in the last game, as a sort of play in game for the 8th seed and the right to get waxed by Milwaukee.

It’s the schedule. They’re tired. Sure you could say “The other teams in the East had to play them too,” and you’d be partially correct (There are unbalanced schedules and the Magic and Heat play in an absolute joke of a division), but playing them all at once, after a brutal 7 game west coast swing, you can see that this team is beaten. They’re too young, and it was too much. Break this 13 game stretch into four pieces and scatter them throughout the season, and they’re the 6th seed right now.

Nobody died on the trains in the last two days though. I will say that if the afterlife is a thing, subway jumpers are going to have a hell of a time making their case for heaven. “You jumped in front of a train at 8:30 in the morning? On a Monday? I’m sorry, was this some other religion’s holiday? No, just a regular back to work Monday? Well this will be short.”

And by the way, this is probably burying the lede, but playoffs or not, yesterday was still a great day for the Nets as they had extended their coaching staff and GM Sean Marks, who has been nothing short of an angel for this squad. Sean Marks showed up in February 2016 when this team had nothing of talent and were in draft pick hell. And the Nets are at least somewhat good. Okay, they’re average. Hell, average is at least somewhat good considering what they had going for them. D’Angelo is an actual All-Star. Caris LeVert and Spencer Dinwiddie are exciting. I don’t have to squint my eyes too tightly to see Jarrett Allen becoming an All-Star one day. They’re reasonably entertaining when they aren’t having the weight of the world crush them. And this is their first real year making strides toward anything. That’s a good first year.

Also, the Long Island Nets are going to the G-League finals. That’s…something. I’d imagine the winners get a lifetime supply of Gatorade and maybe even a $75 Dave and Busters Gift Card. A lot of Nets fans are excited about the prospect of seeing Dzanan Musa brought up, so maybe that’s a guy you’ll get to know sooner rather than later. He’s averaging 19.5 PPG a game in the G-League. I have no idea if that means he’s for real but the guy doesn’t turn 20 until next month. What I’m saying is get super horny for Dzanan Musa right now.

The Brooklyn Nets are 39-40 and tied with Orlando for the eighth seed in the Eastern Conference.

Ian Scott McCormick
Ian Scott McCormick
Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
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Ian Scott McCormickBeerguyrobRikki-Tikki-DeadlyLow Commander of the Super SoldiersHoratio Cornblower Recent comment authors
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As of right now they get the Raptors in the first round. That feels like the best option for them, since Toronto still has the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.


All I can think of is one of the opening lines from The Rules of Attraction: “I always knew it was gonna be like this.”

Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching the Yankees disinterestedly getting whipped in Baltimore and would strongly advise you to take the baseball season off.

I am well aware we’re 7 games into a 162 game season and that they’ve had more of their share of injuries but good God do they look completely checked out.


“Cigarettes huh? You getting high?”

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Sounds like the Nets need some motivation. Why don’t they sign THAT guy?!”