Your “At Least The Clown Shows No Longer Involve This Clown” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • Antonio Brown has now decided to stop taking runs at BIG BEN and instead is now bravely aiming his Twitter cannon at Juju Smith-Schuster.
    • Going so far as to blame Juju for the reason the Steelers “fumbled away” their chance at the playoffs in Week 16 against the Saints.
    • Which has led to a back & forth that demeans them all.

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DEDICATION = HARDWORK + PATIENCE

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Tonight’s sport:

  • NCAA:
    • National Championship Game: Virginia vs. Texas Tech – 9:00PM | CBS / TSN
      • Ralph Sampson in the house!

Although it’s not as cool a story as my brother’s friend who ran a $500 Eagles bet in Week 15 then double-or-nothing all the way to a potential $400,000 payout if they’d beaten the Saints, the largest payout on Texas Tech tonight is a $1500 futures bet from back in November that will pay out $300,000 if they can beat Virginia. (He apparently wanted to bet more than $1500, but the Sportsbook stopped him.)

I can’t say I have any real animus towards either school. I remember Ralph Sampson because any guy my age from the 80s couldn’t forget how tall he was versus the rest of the team, and how Jim Valvano completely owned him in both the 1983 ACC Tournament finals and the Elite Eight. And I’ve been to Lubbock.

The current spread on the game is Virginia by 1.5, with an over/under of 118.5. I’m not Hippo, nor an especially devout worshipee of GAMBLOR, but I’m going to pick Virginia by six & advocate for the under – I just see these two teams taking too much first-half time trying to feel each other out, and that will leave the scoring kinda flat. It won’t be as flat as the Super Bowl or your first girlfriend, but it’ll be close enough to give you flashbacks.

_____________________________

Tonight’s other sports:

  • NHL playoffs start Wednesday, and the NBA took tonight off to watch the game.
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Astros – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Nationals at Phillies – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • after yesterday’s 13.5 hour Wrestlemania, tonight is the annual “brand reset” where new feuds & new wrestlers appear

As stated, NHL playoffs start on Wednesday. I’ll have series breakdowns by conference over the next couple of days. APRIL IS THE START OF TROPHY SEASON!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King HippoBrettFavresColonoscopyBeerguyrobMr. AyoBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Following tonight’s rec league softball performance, I think the lesson is to always drink more beer before playing.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I tried to tell you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think three and some sake was the right amount. I played the best defense I have in years. The ump was complimenting me. It was weird.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now who wants to do the dishes for me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Meanwhile I remain a stupid fucking loser.

Well. Fuck it. Later taters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You are neither stupid nor a loser, dude.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, just saying….
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and he’s humble.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t help it if I was awesome this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like I said.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe.

/Remembers the rest of his life has sucked royally for the past three years

OK, it’s not so fun anymore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

As I’ve already said gents…do as I say, not as I do. When the account began to grow, I wanted to prove I could get it up to 10K. I got very lucky on some stupid bets. But I got it there.
I’m cashing out and will never bet again.

Probably.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Congratulations.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank you good sir.

Col. Duke LaCross

Right on man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

THANKS OBAMA!!

Redshirt

They may be Champions for 2018-19, but this will live forever.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like the Yankees blowing a 3-0 lead to the Red Sox. It’s in the history books, and can never be unwritten.

WCS

So, hey, Seamus, what’s our cut now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll take your wife out for a nice dinner if she’s into it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, she’s into it alright.

WCS

Not incorrect.

Redshirt

Congratulations to Virginia for winning the championship. Congratulations to tWBS for winning money. And congratulations to my bed for zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, you have bees in your bed?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I told you Oprah wasn’t going to just ignore that shit you were talking about her.
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Brocky

Morbid as fuck question: has any professional or college player legit commit suicide after a big loss?

nomonkeyfun

James Dungy after losing his Father’s love.

Redshirt

Oh, come on Texas Tech. Accept your defeat!

Brocky

They’re a Texas team dude. Either they win or blame someone

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Every team that has lost to a 16 seed has won the championship the following year.

nomonkeyfun

Sign this man up to do color next year.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

THIS GUY GUY I CALL HIM GUY BECAUSE HIS NAME IS GUY AND HE’S THE GUY

Redshirt

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m glad that TWBS has won his bet, but the finish of this game left a very bad taste in my mouth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It was an ugly game to be sure.
But I gotz mah moneh!!!!!
And I won the bracket challenge.

I’m kinda happy more tonight than any time for the past coupla months.

I’m back baby!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, that bad taste is now gone, because I realized that a) I don’t give a fuck about Texas Tech and b) my friend TWBS won a bunch of money that I can hit him up to buy me a beer with next time I see him!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh and also Duke lost, and the team that beat Duke didn’t even make it to the final.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, Duke lost.
Now what’s this about free beer?

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Everything is coming up Milhouse!

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shiny Hiney.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Almost life size.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’d eat there.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
WCS

If Texas Tech wins this, that means their last two losses came against WVU. WVU went 16-21 this year.

nomonkeyfun

Did any couches survive?

Redshirt

2019: The year of the Novemdecuple Overtime!

Brocky

……. thats not the first time you’ve used that term ya showoff

Redshirt

At least I didn’t say Viginticentiple.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numeral_prefix

nomonkeyfun

I’ve got bananas. Can anyone spare a cup of flour for some bananacakes.

WCS

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Redshirt

But he still has the ball, though, when the TO was signaled. Shouldn’t that be granted?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Timeouts are granted at the official’s discretion. If they don’t notice until after the ball is passed, too bad.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pass went off that Guy’s ass!

Brocky

Me and my dad just said unbelievable in perfect stereo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sisqo in Hot Tub Time Machine 3: NCAA boogaloo

Brocky

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Redshirt

Its always comforting when there’s 3½ minutes left in the Championship Game and your coach is going “I’m open to suggestions. I got nothing.”

WCS

Oh, the New York Jets Method?

nomonkeyfun

Is that you, Andy R?

Redshirt

tWBS, what did you bet $10Gs on? Is it against the spread or do they simply have to win?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He only bet 1G, and it was on the spread.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Usually when twbs puts $1000 on the spread, she leaves afterward

theeWeeBabySeamus

Usually?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He was too polite to complete the “alive” part.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Redshirt

I suck at gambling so if its TT +1 that means:

VA wins by 2 or more: Bet loses.
VA wins by 1: Bet pushes.
TT wins: Bet wins

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He bet UVa at -1.5. They have to win by 2 or more to pay out for tWBS.

Redshirt

I’m trying to learn spread betting. Ohio, Kentucky and/or Indiana may be getting Sports Betting, and I like to know why I’m losing money when I gamble. Its more fun that way.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Hippo would tell you not to bother and stick with the money lines.

King Hippo

this is indeed what I say, at least for hoopsball

theeWeeBabySeamus

Didn’t bet 10G….1G.
The win puts me above 10 overall for the season (NFL/College Football/College Basketball).

And that’s gonna buy a lot of weed in a coupla months.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yes, it was against the spread. I put it down UVa -1.5. I was sweating it out there for a bit.

Gratliff

Odds Man has let the mask slip, it seems
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Gratliff

That is much larger than anticipated

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOT what she said.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Is that English?

WCS

For what was supposed to be a crapfest, this is pretty goddamned fun.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many beers is too many before softball?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

30?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, Wade

Brocky

May he rest in peace

Brocky

Yes

Col. Duke LaCross

That’s why they make the ball so big.

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ralph Sampson turned into a crack whore so gradually I barely noticed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

As much as I hate it because the money I have riding, this is turning into a really good game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

RIP Nadja Regin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did not know Gregory E. Schiano was an astronaut too!

nomonkeyfun

I thought alcohol was a disinfectant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Niiice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

CBS broadcast with the shoutout to this week’s Request Line.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, aren’t YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU famous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have the sound muted….what did I miss?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

37-29 in the 2nd, I didn’t know college basketball switched to quarters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now, let’s get back to Katy Perry and my $10G payout in about 18 minutes….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The glasses make this classic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I think that was my grandmother.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The Baltimore Orioles scored 12 runs tonight. Topped the A’s 12-4.
It might take them another month to score another 12 runs.
But for now they are back up to .500 at 5-5.

This has been your Baltimore Orioles Update for tonight.

theeWeeBabySeamus