Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 1 (Kid Stuff)

EXT. NONDESCRIPT BROWNHOUSE, PARK SLOPE – DAY

A young man carrying a duffel bag climbs up the front steps and hesitates for a second, trying to decide whether to use the large brass knocker or the bell.  He eventually presses the bell, and a few moments later…

— [door flies open] —

OLIVIA MANNING: Welcome!  I’m so glad you could make it.  Won’t you come in?

DANIEL JONES: [steps inside] It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Manning.  [glances down] Can I take my shoes off?

OLIVIA: [impressed by his manners] Of course, just leave them on the rack to the left.

DANIEL: Thank you, ma’am.  [notices a pair of muddy sneakers on the rack] Do those belong to Eli?

OLIVIA: [smiles wryly, noticing how clean Daniel’s are by comparison] They sure do.

DANIEL: Those look like some pretty big shoes to fill…

OLIVIA: [gets the joke] Oh, you.  It was wonderful of Don Gettleman to arrange this…I guess you’re a little old to call it a “play date”…

DANIEL: How about “study session”?

OLIVIA: I think that’ll do.  Eli’s upstairs in his room.  I’ll walk you up.

DANIEL reshoulders his duffel bag and follows OLIVIA MANNING up the stairs, taking note of the framed family photographs of the Mannings on the way up. They turn a corner and arrive at the door to ELI’s room, where they are greeted by a gigantic “GO AWAY” sign.

DANIEL: Maybe I should…

OLIVIA: Nonsense, he’s just being a brat.  Eli, knock knock!

ELI: [sullenly] Who’s there?

OLIVIA: It’s…[glances at DANIEL, who holds up a finger]

DANIEL: Daniel.

ELI: Daniel Who?

DANIEL: Daniel at us, we can hear you just fine!

OLIVIA and DANIEL chuckle, and their laughter is joined by the muffled sound of an involuntary guffaw from behind the door, which is quickly cut off.

— [door flies open] —

ELI: [frowning furiously, still trying to pretend he didn’t enjoy the joke] I’m only doing this because Coach made me.

OLIVIA: ELI!  Where are your manners!  Daniel is a guest in our home and I won’t have you behaving this way towards him. Now take those headphones off and you start acting like an adult.

ELI: [sufficiently chastised] Okay, Mom.  Come on in.

DANIEL enters the cluttered room and sets his duffel bag on the ground, carefully avoiding setting it on top of a disassembled Voltron figurine.  ELI grudgingly gestures towards his desk chair, where DANIEL sits down.  ELI flops back on the bed.

DANIEL: [tentatively] So…[glances around the room]…I thought you’d be downstairs.  They told me you were spending the summer in Fort Gryffindor.

ELI: [absently] Huh? Oh, yeah, no, not anymore.  Mom’s – I mean Olivia’s – book club is coming over so she needed the cushions back.

DANIEL: Sweet, some hot cougar action in the house.

ELI: It’s a tiger actually, but…how did you know they were reading The Life of Pi?

DANIEL: [thinks Eli is joking] Ha ha ha.

An uncomfortable silence passes, with DANIEL looking at ELI and ELI staring at the wall in an effort to avoid eye contact.

DANIEL: So…

ELI: [starts fiddling a transformer, doesn’t look up]

DANIEL: …um…have you been to see Infinity War yet?

ELI: [still won’t look at him] No.  I’m only allowed one theater movie a month and I’m saving it for Detective Pikachu.

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah, that should be worth it. Um…so…what were you listening to before I came in?  Some Raffi, maybe a little Baby Shark Dance?

ELI: [finally brightens a bit, glances over] Nah, that’s kid stuff.  [holds up his Walkman] It’s just this band from the nineties.  You probably wouldn’t like them.

DANIEL: Well maybe I would.  You never know, let me give them a try.

ELI: [shrugs] All right.  [hands over the headphones]  Get ready to have your socks rocked off, I guess.

Today’s theme is “Kid Stuff”.  We’re making the mixtape for Eli’s slumber party, so we’re looking for songs about toys, games, etc.  Sorry if this seems vague but I think the theme will emerge more clearly as song choices come in. Have at it!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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scotchnaut

These guys killed it in The Canada back when-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXlNod_Lyk4

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

R-T-DUDE!! I guess I’m doing lists tonight:
1. I picked up a PT job working at a liquor store every Friday and Saturday night so I don’t get home til late.
2. I can’t figure out what my PotW was last time because you didn’t spell it out in the post last week (it wasn’t Guster, which is what I saw posted).
3.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-EWh54G73k

ALXMAC

Oh damn my bad RTD. I knew that you were teasing but I didn’t remember that I had posted anything by Guster in the last 2 weeks. Hell I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday. Cheers Brother!!

yeah right

Very late to the party because working extra hours for free is exciting!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zVpUu58nlY

Brick Meathook
ArmedandHammered

Got to watch some cartoons, even though Jonny Quest gives him nightmares:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40FsKwX-K8U

SonOfSpam

And I don’t think there’s any question Elisha sleeps with a nightlight on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhjSzjoU7OQ

ArmedandHammered

Scary story for after light’s out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtffv9bpB-U

ArmedandHammered

Eli really doesn’t like hangman or tic-tac-toe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFQG6OOQmh8

King Hippo

it’s in teh Constitution suck it libtards!!11

Porky Prime

Not sure how well this fits, but I gotta deliver mail somewhat faster than one letter a minute.

C Yas…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJBleJJZixs&app=desktop

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit, now I have to go masturbate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlJew-Dw87I

SonOfSpam

“Boys, the pizza will be ready in GOOD HEAVENS WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”
“It was Daniel’s idea!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlZlst4NBVw

theeWeeBabySeamus
SonOfSpam

“He’s scary. Where’s Yoshimi???”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc6f_2nPSX8

Porky Prime

“Cooper’s games used to have those! BORRRRRINGGGG.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zknXmwAPdwk&app=desktop

theeWeeBabySeamus

I might take heat for this one. Meh, fuck it….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gRGMOhslq0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where is SoS when you need him?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ90ZqH0PWI

SonOfSpam

“Hey mom, did you know Abba is spelled the same frontwards and backways?”
“For the last time, yes, now shut up Elisha!”

Game Time Decision

double shot, but in name only
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12-KN5UijA

SonOfSpam

“I brought some games over.”
“Better not have any frontiers in them.”
“You are in luck, my friend.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95SWMqzM_Sg

King Hippo

Hippo’s 2nd favourite Metallica song, plus Daniel wants to scare Elisha under the bed so he can bang some late-40s strange…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnKhsTXoKCI

SonOfSpam

It’s probably bad that we have all these Olivia sex jokes, but it’s just gonna keep happening.

SonOfSpam

“Why don’t you boys go outside for a while?”
“BUT MOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!”
“Now, Elisha, go on…get some fresh air. Mommy needs some alone time with her new toy.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-9mvVsfVjg

ThurberHerder
SonOfSpam

“Ok, let’s play army men.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvdLovAaYzM

ThurberHerder

Goddammit I dont even like the song but feel compelled to continue the trend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lexLAjh8fPA

SonOfSpam

“Eli, you gonna invite Abby?”
“NO WAY. All her toys are stupid.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A

Porky Prime
SonOfSpam

“ELISHA!!! How many times have I told you to stay out of mommy’s closet!!!”

Porky Prime
Porky Prime
SonOfSpam

“Robots are too scary…unless you know a tough Asian girl.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzlMeTxVdH8

Porky Prime

This song was a good decade before its time.

SonOfSpam

“Uh, Jerry Sandusky’s at the door holding a big bag of quarters.”

SonOfSpam
King Hippo

WINNER

nomonkeyfun

I think I’ll post this now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoXVYSV4Xcs

nomonkeyfun

Uh-oh. I gotta run before…

comment image

Too late.

SonOfSpam

“Hey Elisha, can I use your crayons?”
“Well…ok, but not Burnt Umber. That’s my special one for drawing poops.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRCA_Fo0rWA

Porky Prime

The Monkees were in full “Fuck the Studio” mode when they recorded this frothy little Harry Nilsson ditty and even had it featured on the TV show…after which time, the studio figured out that the song was about a girl getting gangbanged and then taunted about it.

This is yet another reason the Monkees should be in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS19nOs212I&app=desktop

SonOfSpam

Eli: “Maybe he has his A game, but I have Hungry Hungry Hippos”

nomonkeyfun

I have Hungry Hungry Hippos

And suddenly there were no more percs lefts in the country.

Porky Prime

Aw shucks fellas…

Porky Prime

Going to ruin the good will with a DOUBLE SHOT that has no deeper meaning, it’s just my favorite Monkees song and this one IS straight fluff…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whJVDuyl3xc&app=desktop

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sort of a double….very sort of….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afam2nIae4o

Porky Prime

This went from a possible porno to the beginning of an ABC Afterschool Special. ANYHOO…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0rV88Ev-og&app=desktop

SonOfSpam

If it doesn’t feature Olivia gettin a shocker from Saquon, then I don’t even know who you are any more.