Your “S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!!!” Saturday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

Remember the Bay City Rollers?  They were huge for ….  like about two weeks I think, back in the 70s.  I think I was in third grade at the time.  Maybe it was fourth grade.

But anyway, it is Saturday night.  And there’s not much going on.  Let’s do our best to get through this together.

 

Sports 2Nite

MLB

Regional action….

  • Atlanta @ Washington – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX
  • Houston @ NYY – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX
  • ColorAdo @ LAD – 7:00pmEDT – TV: FOX

Full Schedule

NHL Draft

  • Yep, still going on.  And it’s still funny that you can’t pronounce the names – 7:00pm – NHLN

And that’s about it.

I suppose you could tune into ESPN2 at 7:30 and watch a replay of Duke/U*NC from this past March.  But I don’t know why you would.

And moreover, if you do, King Hippo  and I will have to come find you.

No, seriously, we will come find you and hurt you.

And shame your pets.  I mean I’ll try to keep Hippo back, but he’s a mean sumbitch.  I mean just look at this….

That poor puppy will never be the same.

But you’ve been warned.

DAMMIT HIPPO!!!!!!!

OK, Go Try Not To Be Bored

Good Luck.

Imma go get high now.  And probably also drunk.

 

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Please Login to comment
43 Comment threads
83 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
18 Comment authors
Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyMoose -The End Is Well NightheeWeeBabySeamusBrick MeathookUnsurprised Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Apropos of nothing.
comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Just saw one of those late night attorney ads talking about gangrene of the genitals and now I want to hang myself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh you got turned on by that too?” – Michael Hutchence

blaxabbath

I just drove like 35 mins to the north end of town to load up river rock (Free!), 35 mins back, and then unloaded it all to a planter in our backyard.

My wife has the weirdest things she thinks need to be done for the house to sell. I’m like, paint the ugly room, patch/paint any holes, and schedule a good cleaner and landscaper. My wife is suddenly maximum focused on the curtain rod brackets and the miscellaneous planters in the back — like, just really time consuming and/or spendy little to-do’s that aren’t going to matter to the sale at all.

At all.

rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:
It’s weird how no one knows how to dance yet everyone thinks they’re good at sex

Horatio Cornblower

For the record, more than one woman has called me “adequate” at sex.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN is showing the women’s double’s cornhole championship.

Man, the jokes just write themselves.

Horatio Cornblower

“They utilized the sticky bag really well.”

Really?

Horatio Cornblower

Gentlemen, (I believe were currently low on the fairer sex): So here’s how my night went: Trip to the dump. Trip to the gym. Mow lawn which is 3′ because of all the rain. Curse out the sudden rain squall that appears when I’m ten minutes from finishing the lawn. Spend 20 minutes mowing a wet lawn. Friend’s daughter’s graduation party. Beers swapped back and forth among various beer snobs, your truly included. Mrs. Cornblower advises that there are no kids in the house tonight and it would be in my interests to leave the party NOW. Leave the party. Turns out that the lingerie that friends of mine sent Mrs. Cornblower for my birthday fits very well.

/Walk dog/recuperate

HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’, BOYS!?
comment image?w=640

ballsofsteelandfury

Now THAT’S a HELLUVA day!

/slaps Horatio on the ass. Hard!

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, it’s been done.

yeah right

Huzzah!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

15-30 minute wait for carryout? I should wait to order. [Ordered] 26-46 minutes? Damn but ok. [50 minutes later] What. The. Fuck.

yeah right

One of the lost things in this whole Grubhub, Door Dash shit are the restaurants that deliver themselves. We ordered delivery from our local Chinese restaurant and it was here hot and fresh and delicious in 20 minutes.
They know us and we always tip very well so that helps.

ballsofsteelandfury

I only order from restaurants that deliver. Otherwise, I pick up the order. Fuck doordash and grubhub.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This was me picking up

blaxabbath

Seconded.

I’m gonna wait an hour for a delivery where you’re gonna add on $10 in fees? And all so that, when there is an issue, Grubhub shrugs and says it’s the restaurant and the restaurant says Grubhub is just all fucked up.

We have such a tiny kitchen here — I’m so stoked for the real kitchen in our new place.

yeah right

Damn skippy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Awkward boner.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

One 450mg CBD gummy engaged.

Make it so!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Hell yeah!
To answer your question from below, pretty damn good! Cousin got married in Paris last week and I’m waiting for him to come back stateside so we can celebrate!

yeah right

Nice. Eldest granddaughter just got “promoted” from junior high to high school. Had a couple of great weeks back to back exploring downtown LA including an epic pub crawl with the DFO crew. No complaints man.
Good to see you.

WCS

Anyone else remember Pro Beach Hockey? There was a “league” some very 90s names.

The Web Warriors
¡Salsa!

And such and such.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Did the whole team salsa dance every time they scored a goal? That’s some marketable shit right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

USA vs TRI soccer
I want to see this Christian Pulisic dude rip it up

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

This has rapidly turned into an ass kicking by the US.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

Hello boys. I missed you.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

3’s Company
3 Headed Monsters
Aliens
Ball Hogs
Bivouac
Enemies
Ghost Ballers
Killer 3’s
Power
Trilogy
Tri-State
Triplets

These are some of the worst goddamn team names I’ve ever seen.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The Mice
The Jew Bastards
The Boy Fuckers
The [*Redacteds]
The Stuck Pigs

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Let’s be real, Dan Snyder is a hard coke bender away from going full heel and renaming his team the Washington Enemies

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

If he thought he could get the copyright dirt-cheap and then drain the company broke, Dan Snyder would change the team’s name from The Washington [*Redacteds] to The Washington Generals.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anus and Andy
Anus the Menace
Asspocalypto
Babewatch
Backseat Confidential
Ball in the Family
Ball Street
Bareass in the Park
Bat Dude and Throbbin

Beaver and Buttface

Beverly Hills -Ho!
Beverly Hills Cock
Bi-Curious George
Bitanic
Black Cock Down
Boldfinger
Bonfire Of The Panties
Boobarella
Bridge Over the River KY

Buffy Down Under

Buffy the Vampire Layer
Crocodile Blondee

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Saving Ryan’s Privates
Splendor in the Ass

yeah right

Once in Paris, twice in the ass.

Col. Duke LaCross

Splendor in the Ass is fucking hilarious.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I’m currently watching Big 3 basketball on CBS and it’s… sad. I don’t even have a joke, it’s just fucking sad man.

blaxabbath

Is this the LaVar league?

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I guess Ice Cube started it? And he doesn’t want Lavar anywhere near it which goes to show how business savvy Cube is or isn’t depending on your perspective.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I like how ESPN pretended to ban Lavar for a sexual innuendo when they really just no longer gave a shit once Lonzo left the relevance of Los Angeles for NO, and needed an excuse that didn’t involve admitting that part.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

USA! USA! USA!

Do we get a World Cup exemption invite for winning the US Euro’s?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Happy fucking Saturday.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One day closer to fucking Monday.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

nomonkeyfun had the brains to make that Kennedy shot joke.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Original name for a circle jerk?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Impressive; rounds were five minutes in those days.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey! That’s where milk and cheese come from, not eggs! Eggs come out of your ass!

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You need to bone up on your chicken anatomy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Phrasing?

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
[raccoons looking at garbage can blueprints]
“here’s the plan boys…(puffs cigar)…we walk right up to it and knock the son of a bitch over”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

[*Redacteds]

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

In honor of Pride Month and the Stonewall anniversary:

comment image

blaxabbath

Mike Pence *cough*

rockingdog
rockingdog

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That She Blows! is the musical dinner-theater adaptation of Moby Dick.

They always put the male chorus dancer with the strongest back in that one crucial position.

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Better version:

yeah right

Over 7.5 miles for today’s walk and I’m A little creaky.
But!
Still had enough energy to prep 2 dishes for Sunday Gravy.
Now that that’s out of the way let’s go ahead and get crunk.
Howdy everyone!

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Howdy!

yeah right

How you doing SKOL brother?

rockingdog
rockingdog

padres shit the bed. damn.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This dog is patiently and obediently waiting for a treat. “Shit, it’s just an apple,” he seems to be thinking. “Who’s a good boy? You are! Here’s an apple peel!” The dog then walks slowly and dejectedly back to his bed and lies down and decides to die.

comment image

herodotus450
herodotus450

NHL draft is over, buddy! That might be a replay at 7? Is that a thing?