Your “Oh God – There’s Even Less On” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Glover Quin is retiring after 10 seasons with the Lions & Texans.
    • He started 156 of 159 games, and made 24 interceptions during his career.
    • Despite only playing in Detroit for 6 seasons, Quin finished his career second all time among Lions defensive backs in tackles with 423.
  • In town for the ESPYs, Gronk & TAWMMY had a throwing session, fueling speculation the big man might not be completely done.
    • “I mean I can’t really say how I’m going to feel about it when the games start rolling around and everything.”

I’m sorry.

I looked at tonight’s menu offerings and was, quite frankly, disappointed.

It’s not like there aren’t important things that happened on today’s date in history:

  • 1850 – U.S. President Zachary Taylor dies after eating raw fruit and iced milk.
  • 1868 – The 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified.
  • 1943 – World War II: The Allied invasion of Sicily begins.
  • 1993 – The Parliament of Canada passes the Nunavut Act leading to the 1999 creation of Nunavut.

I mean, I have a couple of tags devoted to such endeavours. However, no matter what I tried,

 

I just couldn’t get anything onto the page that seemed of a verifiable “quality”.

So, please entertain yourselves

while I’m off selling beer.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • All-Star Game: From Cleveland – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
  • NBA Summer League Basketball:
    • Suns vs. Grizzlies – 7:30Pm | TSN4
    • Celtics vs. Nuggets – 8:00PM | ESPN2
    • Knicks vs. Raptors – 9:30PM | TSN4
    • Rockets vs. Kings – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “go home” show before “Extreme Rules” this Sunday

Sorry for the lack of originality today. I’m sure tomorrow will be better.

I suppose we can all agree to disagree.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopyBrick MeathookSonOfSpamUnsurprised Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Raw fruit? If we’re talking Zachary Taylor, we’re talking cherries or GTFO

theeWeeBabySeamus

da Fuq you doing up at this hour?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mainly bitching about my back and drinking

theeWeeBabySeamus

Carry on!!!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Q: Is the pay inequity lawsuit a major scandal within professional soccer?
A: Pay inequity is currently the 14th-most significant ethical scandal in professional soccer.

https://sports.theonion.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-women-s-soccer-equal-pa-1819592556

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I think I’ve lost weight. Something must be wrong. I’m doing everything right.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love watching the Tour De France replays because:

1- the scenery is gorgeous
2- The podium girls are gorgeous.
3- They have five different sets of podium girls, each with different colour dresses.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That’s all the same point, you just kept going into further detail.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Senor Weaselo

Because there are different jerseys!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Let me know if you’ve heard this before, but Brad Hand is struggling.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, they need to pull his ass sooner than later.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaaaaand he gets bailed out. Nice play, flyout to #2.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Oh, struggling…”
-David C.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow. If you’re shifted and on the outfield grass, there is no excuse not to field that ball.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jesus comes to bat for the NL with the bases loaded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jesus can’t make contact with a slider.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or a fastball either. Go have a seat, Jesus.
And shave that shit.

Senor Weaselo

They’re on Jobu’s turf now.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My stomach has been mad at me all day, but I just ate a giant bowl of Caldo de Pollo and I have life again.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

That looks moar harmful than a vegetarian pizza.
(moar on that tomorrow morning)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Mine was gringo level spicy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Senor Weaselo

Jerry Callo just killed that ball.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It being off Giants pitching made it even better.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
my white claw brings all the girls to my bar and they’re like, “it’s seltzer but hard”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

My brother met some Malibu cows this morning.

Meanwhile, I just spend five hours straight writing objections to RFP

theeWeeBabySeamus

Malibu Cows sounds like a euphemism.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

A former girlfriend once told me that she thought I look like John Smoltz.

I always resented that.
I am much uglier than Smoltz.

But now, 30 years later, I have more hair.

I WIN!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You look like that father of my favorite lawyer thot except with lighter hair but much better taste

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Also my father if, again, you were taller and a much bigger asshole.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, I’m honestly not sure how to respond to that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks…I guess?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You’re cool.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Joe Buck makes me hate everything.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Someone is channeling their inner Brockmire tonight?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Inner?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

— co-signed by everyone

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Baseball is so confusing, I have no idea if this game decides the world series home field, or if it can end in a tie.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It can do two things!

Dunstan
Dunstan

If it ends in a tie, then Game 7 would be played on a field in Wichita

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a strange existence when the thing you now look forward to on Tuesday is checking out the grocery store circulars to see who has the best deal on canteloupes.

(It’s Ralph’s, btw)

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

litre_cola

Forgot about this tune. Nice pull.

Senor Weaselo

Rather than get someone in the Rock and Roll Hall (even if it’s a farce) they got whoever the fuck this guy is.

herodotus450
herodotus450

They could’ve gotten one of the Doobie Brothers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

herodotus450
herodotus450

I love spending 5 minutes loading up the dishwasher, and then feeling like I’ve accomplished something. Almost as good a feeling as not loading the dishwasher because it’s too much work and I’ve got hockey articles to read.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Hockey articles? In July? Someone drank his maple syrup this morning.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Watching the Tour de France Replay:

My money’s on the wonky, long-legged nerd!

litre_cola

I watch that with relaxing music playing.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love the fact that you completely ignored the MLB All-Star game.

litre_cola

The what?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It’s like the Pro Bowl, but somehow even less fun.

litre_cola

I would rather watch the legends softball game.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I would rather watch the 2018 congressional softball game