INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
A well-tanned PRODUCER and a cheerfully lit-up DJ 3000 stroll into the office.
PRODUCER: Well that sure was a relaxing eight week stay in Puerto Vallarta, wouldn’t you say, DJ 3000?
DJ 3000: SI, SI, FUE MUY RELAJENTE.
PRODUCER: We’re back in the States, buddy. Better switch back to English before those human piles of excrement that work for I.C.E. slap a tarriff on you.
DJ 3000: [flips boolean]
PRODUCER: I wonder if anything interesting happened while we were gone…
[CUT TO]
DANIEL JONES in the upper boughs of a tree outside a brownstone in Brooklyn, wearing only a lacy camisole and looking very frightened and very confused.
[CUT BACK]
DJ 3000: SO WHAT IS ON THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY?
PRODUCER: I thought you would know.
DJ 3000: MY CALENDAR HAS NOT SYNCHED YET…AH, THERE IT GOES. IT LOOKS LIKE TODAY OUR HOST IS…
— [door flies open] —
JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Hiya fellas!
PRODUCER: John David Booty. Wow. It’s been awhile.
JOHN DAVID BOOTY: It sure has! Good to see you boys!
DJ 3000: WELCOME. I REMEMBER SEEING YOU PLAY FOR THE [hurriedly looks him up on Wikipedia] MINNESOTA VIKINGS.
PRODUCER: What are you…are you…here to host?
JOHN DAVID BOOTY: That’s right! Me and station management go way back, and I’ve been looking to get myself a few more public speaking gigs, so I thought I’d turn up and show the world what I got!
PRODUCER: Well, that’s…
JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Anyhow, I’m supposed to have a co-host but it doesn’t look like he’s gonna make it – he said his car broke down and he’s having trouble getting a lift.
[CUT TO]
Jason Pierre-Paul standing by the side of the freeway, attempting to hitchhike, looking very frustrated.
[CUT BACK]
DJ 3000: Ninety seconds to air.
PRODUCER: Shit, time is tight. Okay, so…
— [door flies open] —
ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO: ¿Disculpe, DJ 3000 trabaja aquí? [sees him] ¡Aha!
DJ 3000: AHORA NO, ARANTXA.
ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO: ¡Pero nunca dijiste adiós! ¡Y tu nunca pagaste la cuenta en el bar! Era mucho dinero.
PRODUCER: Goddamnit, we’re running out of time. Okay, John, get in there.
The PRODUCER shoves JOHN DAVID BOOTY into the recording booth and starts furiously punching buttons on the console, while DJ 3000 and ARANTXA SÁNCHEZ VICARIO begin arguing furiously in Spanish. He pounds on the glass to get JOHN DAVID BOOTY’s attention, then counts things down with his fingers.
JOHN DAVID BOOTY: Good day, folks! It’s your favorite…[looks at PRODUCER, who shakes his head slowly and holds up five fingers]…fifth-favorite…[looks out at producer, who taps his forehead to acknowledge his own forgetfulness and is now holding up a picture of Todd Marinovich]…sixth-favorite former USC quarterback with you for another edition of Request Line. Today we’re looking for songs whose titles include the full name of a person. Bonus points for songs that have a first, middle and a last name in the title. I’ll get us started with one from Green Day. Lines are open now, so have at it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsLpjfd9J7A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qAg6sI36Rs
This is exactly how I feel right now: Groucho Marx – Lydia the Tattooed Lady
https://youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXV_QjenbDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir3gAak9LkY
One of the catchiest choruses I’ve heard, I almost wonder if the tune was stolen from a church hymn or something
Teenage Wasteland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY5rztWa1TM
Oh man that’s a steal and a half. Nice work.
Helps that no one knows the actual name of the song
Lots of Warren Zevon options: Frank and Jesse James, Mr. Bad Example, or to stretch a point, Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner (you get to take a new name when you die). But I’ll go with:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZS3uDu8jy8
Closing out with a steal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbBr2bgAbcM
Pretty sure this counts as a full name:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GisCRxREDkY
BONUS POINTS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOK7ownE3Hg
I don’t think I saw this one taken hey, and I assume her last name is May
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=fD_6KqP7K0g
Plenty of Dylan covers, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFUmQHjsYzw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-LVXR6rjXs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5hFMy4pTrs
This is some good shit, man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBGkhPx529g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AygowPLl06k
No luck finding JWH, but there’s still plenty of Dylan material to work with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doIMYvZyo_k
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmbwU3J-2kk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS91knuzoOA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMco9jUdwyE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIYjz5ne7R4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPRonG87eKw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oqAU5VxFWs
“Songs with the full names of people? Here’s one.”
-twbs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc
Hey, I’m not the only one who did it.
I have Most Recent Memory Bias Syndrome-how dare you try to shame me!
[calls lawyer]
Then there’s long term memory Bias.
(maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up)
((you got any coke?))
Potato-eating drunk bastards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh5gtGk9XZ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3zFU-G0vOo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgA4-bLcoN8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGZelzeDJyI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXzFCS72QIA
Today we’re looking for songs whose titles include THE FULL NAME OF A PERSON
/just sayin’
(In the South, one name is usually the full name. Two names is hard to remember unless you’re a fancy lad)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP6rnWnvyVE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G68qe1ew5tE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2LC1xrdOaM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxFyu_U2go
Double shot!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hGmqpQ_vkA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg9RyiPKhx8
No, wait, triple!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tvRSFAVAqU
Lots of one word names, but I guess that makes sense as you probably know a lot of Misty’s, Turquoises, Diamonds, etc. from the local club.
OK, settle down over there.
Also….LOL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyCg56ARNtw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQYgIUtB–A
What about pseudonyms?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCTzgATx09o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_m-BjrxmgI
Really?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARzj2AblBWQ
Top ten Beatles song? MAYBE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuS5NuXRb5Y
Damn! I was just scrolling to see if anyone did this. This is “Deacon Jones in the 14th round”-level value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71qaX05-ArM
I think it’s cool that Vampire Weekend has a song on their new name called Unbearably White because it must a tribute to their fans (me included)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG6lTQNW04I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR5XGTpophI
OH SONOFABITCH I FEEL STUPID NOW!!!!!
Errrrr….i mean good call.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVx8L7a3MuE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR2JtsVumFA
You posted the extended version with the awesome guitar solo and not the radio-friendly crap.
*nod of respect*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv33eaygVDQ
Great burlesque name, and still catchy as hell (Blackhawks games notwithstanding)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEXHeTcxQy4