This is usually the time when some sort of ‘dress rehearsal’ for the regular season takes place with all the stars muddying their unis for the first time. But lo! Some teams have re-thunk this thinking and many of the precious ones will not “have at it”, which kinda makes sense to me. I read somewhere that Coach Nagy ran all his starters against one another in a game simulation and implemented all the new plays that he wouldn’t otherwise reveal (in order to judge their effectiveness) until the regular season began. He then plays the seconds and thirds in the ‘real’ exhibition games so that he has a longer look at the depth at each position. Seems like a smart thing to do…

Updates:

-Zeke has reportedly wandered back Mexico way, making him cerveza non grata  in Cowboyland.

-Pats lb Patty Chung got caught with the coke so he’s gone for awhile. Given the recent news regarding Josh Gordon, the Pats understanding of FIFO inventory management is seriously flawed.

TO THE GAMES!

Jizziants/Cincy:

The Bengali’s have only 6 player rejects from their buddies in New York. They consist of 2 castaway O-lineman, 2 cb’s that couldn’t cut it, a D-line depth fella and something called “Hunter Sharpe”. Good Luvin’! Player to watch for the Jizzers is 5th round pick rook lb Ryan Connelly. Described recently as “smart and tough”, which is code for  ‘pallid dude from Wisconsin’, he’s actually a bit of a speedster. Think deep-discount Luke Kuechly

Bal/Phi:

Reports out of Ravens camp declare that te Mark Andrews will end up being the most likely target to have the ball sail over his head in the red zone this season.

Car/Pats:

Pants wr Curtis Samuel is among the league leaders in ‘yards cushioned by cb’s at 6.7. Stick that up your WAR!

Wash/ATL:

Prediction: Brian Hill will supplant Ito Smith as the #2 rb. Draft accordingly.

Jax/Mia:

Jags fans are dreading the day when their rb Fournette will be forced to miss a game because he had a nightmare that ‘really stuck with me’.

GB/Raiders:

You guys don’t seriously think that Antonio is going to replicate his previous success with Derek Carr behind center, right? The latter’s inadequacy was one of the reasons that Amari Cooper was chased out of town just…last…year.

Whoa! These hot takes really take the wind out of me. Do you have one? Share below.