Your “Someone’s Going Home 0-2” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Gawd! The hairs on my back are standing at attention! They’re nothing like my ‘cut and run’ nipples, I’ll tell you. I just can’t count on them anymore-well, not past three anyway. It’s the Jizziants vs. the Cowfolk for all the glory. What do these teams have in common? They both think that if they get out of this game with a 1-1 record there’s a clear path to a wild card spot. Shall we pretend to break this game down to all its individual parts and come up with a reasoned argument as to which team will come out with the W? Let’s! TO THE GAME!

Giants/Dallas:

For about 6 or so years in a row the NFL sked-makers have thrown this one up the first week of the year. Major curveball this year-it’s the 2nd week of the season. What a difference seven days makes! I can’t get too angry about the Giants loss last week to a Jags team that seems likely to steamroll themselves right back to the AFC Championship Game. They exposed New York for what it is-a generally upgraded team that still has some worrisome issues. [gives Flowers the stink-eye] Hopefully mistakes will decrease as the year goes on and te Engram has successful Cris Carter hand-transplant surgery. Negotiations are still on-going. The shine has really come off the Dakster hasn’t it? He’s thrown for under 200 yards in 8 of his last 11 games and is far from the difference-maker he seemed to be when he first arrived on the scene. If only coaches didn’t have game film to watch! Darn it all. Dallas fans are warming up the bus and their throwing arms in anticipation of the inevitable.

I’m tired of typing. It’s your turn.

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Alright. Much like Ray Rice, I’m punching out. See you all here for MNF?

Later, Taters!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go Bears!

(They’re going to break our hearts again)

Doktor Zymm

If the Bears can break your heart…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

….it isn’t filled with enough gravy?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

My Bears fan heart has been black and cold for a while and that Satan Pact Making Aaron Rodgers reminded me last week why it’s dead.

Senor Weaselo

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think there’s an echo in here.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Inception
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Alright, you win. I have to eat.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Wakezilla

Alright, who broke DFO?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

Jeff Hardy’s hell in a cell bump looked stupid and I hope he is OK.

The Roman Reigns/Braun match was stupid. I know they mail it in during this quarter, but Holy shit that was a bad Raw ending, let alone a PPV finish

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m a little disappointed the real video is no longer available on youtube, but still a good damn song.
I miss Chris, even tho I never actually met him (came close twice tho).
G’ night, folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Could more to the story, or that’s it, not sure.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The weird part is that the nekkid dude crossing the street isn’t my biggest question.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Who brings all the goats to the YARD?!?!

Petronel

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Wakezilla

“2.4 million relocated as ‘Super typhoon’ Mangkhut hits China”

Super Typhoon? Christ, that sounds terrifying.

Also, tee hee hee…. Mangkhut

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I guess we’ve finally found out why.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, that’s awesome.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That is an impressive cock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Rats.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You could glue one to your face.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The tail makes it cooler.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think she means facial hair, could be face rats tho.

Wakezilla

Well, that’s one way a chicken can fly high

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Showoff!

theeWeeBabySeamus

He gets a lot of pu…..

(never mind)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Plot twist. It’s actually a food cart.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Here’s a hot taek: Gob’s version is better than the Stones’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I really need to reincorporate the word “nimrod” in my daily language.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And listen to less Green Day.

Good lord.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re half correct….

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Admin, can I get moderator privileges to remove this filth?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am your moderator.

And no.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Well that ends that discussion.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

If I was a moderator, this would NAWT be the end of the discussion.

I would have ended it much earlier. And with myself on the banner.

Wakezilla

After a quick google search, I found out that Cassie Brown is 101 years old.

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

In base-4?

Wakezilla

Must have google the wrong Cassie Brown.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

First of all, she would be 99 years old. Second, she’s been dead for 21 years.

Longer than this lass has been alive.

Wakezilla

Good thing I don’t tutor College students in math

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just looking at her, I can count to two. Four if she turns around.

24 if she takes her shoes off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, my ass is half that old and doesn’t look anywhere near that good.
THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, that is Neve Campbell.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Right?

ballsofsteelandfury

I miss KITH…

SonOfSpam

Golly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Just about to ask that.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Good lord.

ballsofsteelandfury

DFO Pizza Parlor…

SonOfSpam

What’s the porn version of “The House With The Clock In Its Walls”?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

“The Horse With The Cock and Balls”?

SonOfSpam

Alternate title: The Ann Coulter Story.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/never gets erect again

SonOfSpam

At our age, probably for the best.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t do beastiality.

For cheap.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Ho with a Cock in her Sugar Walls?

SonOfSpam

How fucking hot was Sheena Easton? (Answer: Quite)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I support this opinion.

ballsofsteelandfury

Immensely.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, this party just went off the rails.

Senor Weaselo

“When you think of Italy, what do you think of?”
“Perillo Tours!”

That is approximately the final thing I think of.

SonOfSpam

I mostly think of dumbass greaseballs in wifebeaters who probably are wifebeaters, but some people are just haters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

My least favorite kind of bush.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Finally some good music around here.

SonOfSpam

Wakezilla

That song is the Mars Attacks of music.

SonOfSpam

Jack Nicholson’s best work.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, and he’s the one who always gave me shit about the stuff I post on Request Line, and he pulls this shit.

Obligatory: DUDE!?!?!?!?!

SonOfSpam

Except…you love this song. It was a gift. Asshole.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, I do not. In spite appearances at times, I do have some standards.

SonOfSpam

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

/breathes

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

theeWeeBabySeamus

I clearly said “SOME” standards.
YMMV.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Does she have all of her permanent teeth yet?

SonOfSpam

/looks at back of hand

Nope.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

SonOfSpam

Rudyard Kipling is really pissed about this song.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So is anyone else who has ears.

Wakezilla

Great song.

Though, this song would get played too much at school dances. It was hard because that meant you had to slow dance, which meant you kept having to tell yourself to not get an erection when dancing with a girl.

Puberty is the worst

SonOfSpam

Just lie on top of her and put your hand over her mouth. Next stop, Supreme Court!

SonOfSpam

Um, hey.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s your opinion.

SonOfSpam

Oh, one of THOSE people.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah, well, it is was it is.

Senor Weaselo

Night Gallery is on, and it’s being narrated by Orson Welles. So there’s that.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Spur
Spur

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Petronel

What’s Up With Those Pillows, Part II

Spur
Spur

Night Folks
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

You need to do an equal opportunity post before leaving.

For tWBS of course.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I gotta have the D.

Wakezilla

Oh,she is quite the cup of tea

Senor Weaselo

She both pops AND locks!

yeah right

Odell just needed a little more pizza and cocaine.

Spur
Spur

On to Sacramento!

Doktor Zymm

If you haven’t, go read A Confederacy of Dunces

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Great read.

/belches

Spur
Spur

Dallas Wins
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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

The spread was DAL minus 3.5 … right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

3 to 4, depending on the service.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nice try, Brett

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahaha….Gigantes gon’ totes kick a FG here and almost cover my predicted 6.5.

But when they do it WON’T COST US $6K THIS TIME YES I’M STILL PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT SHIT.

Spur
Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, seriously Spur, I wasn’t planning to rub one out tonight, but if you keep up with the Sara Jean gifs I can’t make any promises.

Romonobyl

That requires…planning?

theeWeeBabySeamus

And clean towels.

Senor Weaselo

I really don’t remember that scene from Star Wars.

Petronel

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Spur
Spur

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Petronel

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Doktor Zymm

Eli is totally the little girl that Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland for

Romonobyl

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Spur
Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Seems way too annoyed for being at the beach. 2/10, would throw off balcony.

Petronel

She looks like she’s working up the nerve to jump off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it illegal to give her a nudge? Just a little one?

Petronel

That depends – yelled at the cop next door recently?

(iOs autocorrect filled in “GOP” for “cop” as I was typing)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha….touché.
So I guess I should lay low for a coupla days. Good advice.
(you’re funny, btw….you need to write for the blog)

And the dumbass cop is two doors down I’ll have you know!!!!!!!!

Petronel

Hee. No snark or offense (or advice) intended.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No I know. Like I said, you’re funny.
And please do consider writing for us if you’re so inclined. I think you’d be a great addition.

I’ll reach out in a few days and we can talk more about it if that’s ok?

Petronel

Sure…hadn’t really thought about it, but let’s talk. (Except that I can’t figure out how to see PMs any more, so will have to figure that out first presumably.) Gotta go for now – well past my bedtime, and long day at work tomorrow. G’night, all.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No worries. I’ll shoot you an email in a coupla days after this hurricane stops messing up my life.

Sleep well.

Spur
Spur

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Spur
Spur

that’s not good

Doktor Zymm

Oh gigantes, your hope is adorbs

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Cris Collinsworth’s voice is the voice of every man who knows the age of consent laws in every municipality.

Romonobyl

That’s why he loves Bills home games.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

This bar has dogs and I’m petting all of them

Sharkbait

Best bar ever

Senor Weaselo

If you didn’t I would be disappointed!

Senor Weaselo

Touchdown… Giants?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Just in time!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Cris: “Don’t throw fags …”
Oy.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, he’s not wrong. Don’t throw your butts into the forest! Only you can prevent forest fires!

yeah right

I already took a shot when he said “saul” instead of “saw.”

I have to work tomorrow!

Spur
Spur

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Romonobyl

Einstein knew what he was talking about.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So you’re saying he was correct, relatively speaking?
(get it?)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

NERD!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Petronel

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Spur
Spur

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Doktor Zymm

What is he puttng down there?

Spur
Spur

eau de toilette?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Extra cheese. smgdh

Romonobyl

He’s retrieving wrinkled dollar bills. It was a slow night.

yeah right

A twenty for the cab ride home.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Rohypnol.

Spur
Spur

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Petronel

That’s how you protect your skin in a dry climate.

Spur
Spur

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

People gave the Giants shit for passing on a QB in this draft but did you consider they’ll be so shitty this year they’ll get the best QB in next year’s draft? Checkmate motherfuckers

Senor Weaselo

“Oh yeah?”-Arizona Cardinals

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Carson Palmer’s remains will be offered as tribute

yeah right

Ahh, the long con.

Romonobyl

Sun rises, Sean Lee gets injured, sun sets.

Spur
Spur

but now there are backups who can play

Sharkbait

Death, taxes, Sean Lee injuries.

Doktor Zymm

I think this is the least upset I’ve ever been at a cowboy win. And it’s mostly because damn, the NFC East blows this year

theeWeeBabySeamus

Deffo looking like the ‘Dacteds division to lose.
Sorry Philly, you know it’s true.

Doktor Zymm

The Dacteds can only win the division because everyone else blows, it’s sad because it encourages Snyder

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, yeah. But still.

Romonobyl

Eagles are even off to a shaky start. I’m seeing a 6-10 wildcard berth coming up for someone.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

The NFC East aka Satan’s Division being bad is extremely good

yeah right

Eli is a sequin encrusted coin purse.

Spur
Spur

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Spur
Spur

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