Well, that was lovely! Would you care for more? TO THE GAMES!
Colts/Chargers:
No pressure, Jacoby. Perhaps it was because he was brought up in the Pats system but Brissett is a very conservative player that rarely throws downfield despite a good arm. Still, the Chargers are ripe for an upset here because of Gordon and his situation, Derwin James not being around and a weak O-line missing left tackle Okung. That’s three difference-makers subtracted from a game. Enticing a gambler even more is the fact that the Colts D unit came together in the 2nd half of the year and the line on this game has blossomed from 3 to 6.5 after a certain retirement.
Bengals/Seahawks:
When I think of superior edge defenders the name Carl Lawson doesn’t come up but his two year win rate of 20.1% is second behind only Joey Bosa. Rb Mixon is the more talented back but Chris Carson will get the better numbers by game’s end here.
Lions/Cards:
Let The Kyler Murray Era begin! (unless Arizona management falls in love with yet another qb in next year’s draft) The preseason game I eyeballed he seemed to be all over the place-like 1 good play, 1 bad, then a head-scratcher but he did end the season with a 65% passing average and a 76 qb rating. I’m guessing that the Lions aren’t going to be remotely ready for what Murray’s legs bring to the table. (table, legs? Woo!)
Giants/Boys:
Here’s the afternoon feature because America’s Turd and New York-area ratings. I’m not complaining however. I wouldn’t even mind Dallas running train on the Giants as long as it means that questions regarding Eli grow louder and speeds his inevitable demise. I WANT NEW THINGS!
Niners/Bucs:
Tampa’s secondary as a whole ranked 28th of 32 teams. Their San Fran counterpart gave up the 2nd-most passing TD’s last year. The over/under is 50. You do the math.
Let’s break that figurative huddle and get out there.
Aw hell. Seattle is done playing around.
Patricia wearing a “1934” hat, which I suppose is his and Stafford’s combined weight.
Average weight
Eli got smoked
Wait, he can do that?
— J. Gordon
Smoked what?
-A Reid
RedZone showing way too much of DET at ARZ.
DET threatening again?
Update: John Ross III sucks as much as John Ross. Maybe even more so.
But does he sucks three times as much?
Yes. At least. At least John Ross shows no potential so he doesn’t make the field.
John Ross III is at least able to catch the ball so he stays on to commit stupid penalties and drop passes.
I need to go Trailer Park Boys Ray and keep some piss jugs around.
One of the worst moments in fantasy football is when you have a player with relatively high projections, then 2 minutes of a game is played and then those projections plummet faster than jay cutler’s blood sugar
Cards radio announcers already blaming the headset to the sideline for Kyler Murray being a shitty NFL quarterback in a JV system on an untalented roster.
Quick adaptation
Kellen Moore might know what he’s doing. Those offensive sets looked modern
TD! Not Witten.
Nice play calling for the Cowpokes.
Stafford reminding us that fatties have no value in our society
“3rd and 22. We’ll see what the SeaHacks can do. SeaHAWKS can do.”
Bengals Play-by-Play Guy may have accidently created a new name for Seattle.
Seconded
More like Air Fail
I’m serious, AZ and MIA might be the worst professional footy sides we’ve seen since the USFL folded.
“HEY! Oh, professional. Carry on.”
-The XFL
hold my beer
-AAFL
Simple Mike is hyping this as the most hyped home opener in years.
I’m going to just start lying all the time Tom everyone. It seems to work for that trust fund [whatever word we use
Instead of fucking retard anymore].
2008 Lions though
Right, gotta bolt lads… Have a good one, failing that two bad blonde ones 😀
If you’re going to have Erin Andrews report , you need to SHOW Erin Andrews reporting
*paging Unsurprised*
Hoping that AZ and MIA play this season, and it gets national TV coverage.
BriskettDown!
Goddamn Atlanta kept me from finally cashing in $1200 on a big, dumb, five-leg parlay for the first time in my life. I wish Sherman would’ve finished the job back in the war.
BrisketDOWN!!
Cowboys D bit so hard on Eli’s fake. This is me laughing. Really?
Eli is not allowed to lie. He’s a good boy.
You can’t spell elite without ELI.
31!t3
JOE FLACCO(esque)!
Eli having issues with the new analog play-clocks Double J had installed
Where’s Mickey? Which hand is which?
Punting from the 5 yard line on their first posession.
Kliff Kingsbury has changes what now?
Ladies and slapdicks.
My kind of night!
Saquon is Saquoning…
There are let’s go cowboys charges happening in the Giants bar. This should be good.
Oh, that’s right. Bengals are part-Brown.
which part?
The mouth because that’s the part that sucks.
“Three fifths?”
-Jerry R.
C’mon Cannonball Breida!
anyone have a good streaming link for NFL games? THe ones in my bookmarks are all shot.
Should be something here
https://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/
Got it. Thank you.
Now I can watch the Cardinals and hate myself.
Shit. I’m sorry.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/jets-fans-call-for-carli-lloyd-after-vedvik-shanks-first-2-kicks/ar-AAGZtNP?ocid=spartanntp
#BFIB get a combined Flaherty/El Gallo shutout, the lead is 4 games, about to be 4.5 WOO!!!!
Big Dick: Nicked
Zeke can afford a bigger bowl now.
DAK DAK DAK DAK!!
Devin Singletary had 4 carries for 70 yards. the Bills are fucking stupid
Reds win with a walkoff hit by a relief pitcher pinch hitting.
Yeah, dirt ball season is over as of today. Focus on what matters.
I had both games on. Its still kosher.
the one who started in CF earlier?
Yup.
I need some good Dak Derp
Not yet. Wait for Jerrah to overpay him, then bring on the derpitude.
Ah! The dulcet tones of Joe Fucking Buck and Troy Dainbramage Aikman.
Oh,hello Erin!
Already sick of these two
Any other team, the commissioner would void the contract and strip the team a 2nd round pick for tampering.
DO EEEEET, ROGER! DOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET… and yes, I’m a Pats fan. I still don’t like AB… (until/unless he does a whole season without drama, 15+ receiving TD’s, 1000+ yards AND plays well enough to get us our 7th SB win)
Yeah, AB is definitely playing chess to the NFL teams’ checkers.
Foles broke his clavicle. Brutal.
Eh, how long is that in recovery time?
4-8 weeks. RIP Duval.
4 first round picks and they can trade back for Lord Bortles
Gosh, now the Jags won’t be Super Bowl favourites!
I wonder if that could have been called a body weight on the QB penalty.
When do they trade for Eli?
Delanie Walker would have been a good FF play today.
Anyone have RGIII in their fantasy leagues? I think he beat Goff.
May Bengals new coach Zac Taylor’s head coaching career start exactly like Dave Shula’s. And then that’s it!
Jets new uniforms really making it happen.
It, of couse, being scoring less than 20 points a game.
Adam Gase is a bug eyed fool who never really was that good in Miami
?ssl=1
gonna drop Rashaad Penny (RB-Seahawks) and add MALCOLM BROWN (RB-Rams)
good idea or bad idea?
I don’t feel like SEA will ever have big RB numbers. Anytime one of their backs starts to be productive, they just PA.
Grab Mattison from the Vikes. He’s real fucking good.
J. E. S. T. S. JESTS JESTS JESTS!
Alright, Gints. Do the damn thing.