Why don’t teams have V-L-T (or draw) records? How did the short and curt ‘win’ win out? Is it because ‘victory’ is a bit melodramatic? Perhaps. I’d suggest a new word and that is ‘wictory’. It’s new and exciting and just rolls off Elmer Fudd’s tongue. TO THE GAMES!
Ravens/Chiefs:
All corneas should be on this one. There was lots of chatter about Arizony picking up the pace with Kingsbury showing up but the team that is the Hurry Up king so far is Baltimore at an average of 72.5 offensive plays per game. PFF’s highest ranked O player is… tight end Mark Andrews? They’ve remarked that he only plays 55% of the teams snaps and that is a travesty. But perhaps his grade is so high because of his limited participation?
Bengals/Bills:
Well, he’s gone and done it. Thanks to Singletary’s injury Frank Gore is the very first solid RB2 at the age of 36. Why? Because the Bengals are the worst tackling team in the league and Mr. Gore loves to break himself tackles. He’s got to go for at least 80 and a score.
Miami/Dallas:
The Fins are leading the league in fewest points scored, most sacks allowed, most INT’s allowed and most points scored against by opposing D’s. Call a family member rather than watch this Atrocity Exhibition.
Broncs/Pack:
Fantasy owners of Aaron Jones were the opposite of delighted at the news that coach LaFleur wants to up the number of touches that Jamaal Williams gets, creating a potential RBBC. Kudos go out to wr Sanders for his phenomenal recovery.
Falcons/Colts:
We were told that Brissett was a very conservative tosser of the football and this has been proven the first two weeks. No one aside from T.Y. has more than 40 yds. receiving so far. That’s a recipe for a losing record. Am I right, yeah right?
Raiders/Vikes:
Minny’s running game is all roses and pink unicorns but the same certainly can’t be said about Cousins and the passing game. Of the 42 players that have tossed at least one pass so far he ranks dead last. His QBR is a nasty 16.6-for comparison’s sake Mahomes is at 92.9. Sure he’ll get better but he won’t ever be good enough to take the Vikes to a conference championship game.
Jets/Pats:
The spread is 22.5. The Pats D hasn’t given up a TD yet. The Jets are playing their 3rd string qb. Is this what you want NFL? Really? Probably.
Lions/Eagles:
The Eagles secondary as a unit has handed opposing qb’s a 127 qb rating. They’ve just one INT and given up 5 TDs. Start Chubby Bubblegum. Now. By the by, you may want to pick up J.J. Arcega-Whiteside while he’s still cheap.
Did I miss anything? I hope not. There’s also some soccer going on. DAZN tells me that Sassuola/SPAL, Brom/Hudder, HAM/MAN, Lecce/Napoli, Palace/Wolves, Chelsea/Liver and Arse/Aston among many others are on offer this morning.
Have at it.
It’s up. Head on over.
Viagra?
Holy shit the Jets covered! I haven’t been this surprised since South Park covered against Middle Park.
Burrata and heirloom tomato time
Hippo is making sure my post goes up. I’m a gotdamn idiot.
Fuck Kansas City and the shitty officials they rode in on.
/awaits high five from both Hippo and RTD
Entropy, thanks for the Planetary reference, just bought the omnibus in hardcover from Amazon, it was actually on sale for $50.
Its Teddy time in Seattle. Which is your cue to launch the late games thread pls and kthx
All-time Giants great? I am not looking forward to the revisionist Manning felatio
He beat the Patriots twice in the Super Bowl and prevented 19-0. We gotta give him that.
Phil Simms can’t remember anyone better
except the career of Phil Simms.
would have been funny if they called that an Orlovsky
I don’t understand how the Bengals
Taylor has a point. He wasn’t touched down.
Oh Bungles
Its great how the tradition continues without Marvin Lewis
There it is.
y’all’s will to lose was stronger
Bills can still Buffalo this up
No rush, guys. You always got the 5th Quarter to win this thing.
WHERE IS UR GOD NOW, DAKOTA JEEBUS??
he’s still in the Whitehouse unfortunately
I’m very impressed that the Eagles receivers have more drops than the team had passing plays
Antonio Brown is available.
he only drops his pants.
lol what the fuck was that game even
wow, that’s legit
OPI LMAO!!!
OPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck
Frank Gore is The Man For All Seasons.
The fuck with these goddamn drops
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JAWNKINS
that was really some fuckety shit! Fuck Liouns deserve no joy.
the Lions are snake bitten
Really nice of the Eagles D to wait til the last 5 minutes of the fucking game to do a single goddamn thing
This applies to multiple games/fan bases
Hippo calls that day ending in a -y
If that’s not holding, I don’t know what is.