Business is brisk at The Salvation Army store on Sundays. It wasn’t always this way, hell it wasn’t even open on Sunday before I offered to put in the time. You see, the shop is a nondescript building that faces another nondescript building and they’re separated by an over-sized walkway. The only other business of note open on the sabbath is a bottle store. I happened to grab some vodka before the football games and noticed the large amount of people loading up. Many of them were a certain kind of people. My kind of people.
I suggested to the world-weary and harried spinster that ran things that I could, perhaps, maybe run a Sunday shift. Hell, I could do it on my own-all she had to do was open up for me. Well, it didn’t take long for her, maybe just three weeks, to decide that missing the beginning of Coronation Street wasn’t worth the hassle. So I got the keys just as I had planned. Of course I was the only one working as well. And sales increased overall by 15% because, as I suspected, a part of the demographic that buys alcohol early on Sunday morning also happens to shop at a used goods store. Sometimes a plan is just that easy to put into action and, you know, execute.
A guy by the name of Brad started stopping by and I’d pour him a coffee and we’d chat away. The cashiers desk was elevated so that I could survey the entire store quite easily all while ‘flapping gums’ as they say. Brad’s clothes were worn but not raggedy so I guessed he’d only recently ran into a rough patch. He eventually made it known that he was working in a wrecking yard and busted up his leg in an accident. Some nasty hospital fees (no insurance of course) and a later infection that sent him right back into care for two weeks put an end to him having an address.
“You know what I miss most about having a place?”, he asked one day. “Huh, no idea”. “It’s being able to sit back today with a cold beer and just relax and watch football.” Of course his team was the Browns-it couldn’t have been any other. The gears started doing their calculations…
The following week I closed the store one hour early so that we could catch the 4 o’clock games. There was a dark dive bar that I knew, the sort of place where everyone is a serious drinker and everyone minds their own business or they’re out the door real fast. Brad drank down that first glass from the pitcher in two gulps. Yeah, as I thought, he liked his beer and didn’t get to drink much these days. I offered to buy him a burger or something but he wanted that alcohol to sit on his empty stomach for awhile. He entertained me with stories of Peyton Hillis, Dennis Northcutt (Dennis Northcutt?) and ‘that son of a bitch’ Butch Davis.
By seven it was time to go because he was sloppy and all over the place. I could feel a few eyes looking in our direction and that’s all it took. I insisted that he grab a spot on a park bench and sober up a little before heading to the hostel where he was staying. He was amenable. Things happened fast. I stuffed a rag in his mouth when his head lolled back, punched him hard in the stomach to knock the wind out of him and then I knew he was mine.
Heading back to the car I was worried about all the spatter on my clothes should someone happen by but it was a sleepy Sunday night and there was only dogwalker at a safe, unidentifiable distance. Business is still brisk at the store, might stick around a bit longer. Oh, almost forgot-Goodnight, Brad.
TO THE GAME!
Cowboys/Saints:
Dallas wins 20-10 as OC Kellen Moore continues to weave his magic spells over DAK!, Amari and Zeke.
Have at it gringos!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0
Shoulda thrown it away
I don’t think Payton wanted any part of the long FG
Out of FG range. NICE!
Oh Saints.
da Fuq man? That ain’t no Milkbone!!!!!
I just dragged your fucking ass out of the creek and you give me a fucking lime?
That’s not a booty!
From last timeout – Watch Apple TV’s new show! Black Lady Lawyer!! We are SO bold and progressive!!!
No way it’s better than Human Female Lawyer
they can be on same Apple night, like NBC’s Chi**** trilogy
Malort, a bad makeout sesh, and a thick pizza?
Wait, she can be both!?
but what she REALLY wants is a man and a baby!!!111
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZvjiLbDQq8
This alpaca ad makes me unreasonably angry, mostly because I can absolutely see it happening.
Great. Just Great. i hate New Orleans
New Orleans is a great city. Sean Payton is a scumbag and Brees shills for a Ponzi scheme, so there’s that.
NEW, MIDDLE AGED, AND OLD ORLEANS, ALL OF YOU GO
best case, DAK! gets 90 seconds, no timeouts needing 6
Dallas D is too tired here.
Pfft, heard that before
I think there was a movie about it…
There’s a pill for that now
Curious as to why there has been only one whistleblower against Trump? Curious why Snowden went straight to the press? Think the attempts to ruin the current whistleblower’s life are a fluke? NOPE WE JUST SUCK AND TRY TO KILL ANYONE WHO ATTEMPTS OVERSIGHT https://www.whistleblower.org
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr8CKSWL700
You call it whistleblowing, I call it light treason. Let’s all just take a trip to a secret CIA “retraining center” and talk about it.
May not even get the ball back now.
I dunno, Cris, I’m pretty sure the Saints would take a TD here.
Dallas needs to win so i can post my new booty GIF.
Just post it anyway.
That’s not nearly a strong enough argument to make me want to see Dallas win
She has a good point.
Still willing to see the booty though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJT2Q7EApkY
How the hell is Law and Order: Slightly Rapey Edition still on?
Because Ice-T watches you while you sleep?
Murrica LOVES rape!!
1 out of 2 people enjoy rape
ppl forget that!!!
Sometimes the ratio is higher.
I’m not condoning it by any means.
Just pointing it out.
Cause you touch yourself
So Dallas is betting on Teddy to screw up. Bold Strategy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-010nGM1-A
Let Dak run.
See Dak run.
Run Dak run.
(sorry, I might be a little drunk)
Been watching 60 Minutes during the commercials. The whistleblower is under Federal Protection from Presidential Witness Tampering and Intimidation.
Can you imagine if Obama sent out those tweets
How can it be, the feds all WORK FOAR ME!!! – Herr Fuhrer
Like if he was Thomas Drake or something? This country sucks as far as whistleblower protection
Not surprised they’re under protection. I can only imagine what a MAGA chud would do if they found out who they were
I’m still remembering republicucks getting all bent out of shape because Obama was only a “city planner” before a Senator before the President.
I’m no offensive genius, but I think the Cowboys could really use a TD here.
3 and out works too, I guess.
Hey, at least I didn’t start Teddy Bridgewater.
UP HIGH!!!!!!
(jerks)
Big Sack
Robert Quinn is apparently invisible.
If that’s not a Balls search term…
he quit taking my suggestions after Pissing Abuelas
Took a nap on the couch, looks like a good time to tune in! Go jet lag!
I switched over to The Righteous Gemstones for 40+ minutes and see I missed jack shit.
Al apparently baffled by the concept of wireless communication.
BLEERGH! (redux)
HAIL BLEERGH!
17-15, or 17-18?
At the rate they’re going either one might be a bridge too far.
15-10
But hey, at least neither one let the Browns put 40 on ’em.
BLEERGH!
Defense needs a turnover here
Ending my day drinking with bourbon. I chose wisely
You do realize it’s not still daytime.
KEEP GOING!!!!!!
Go the full loop? That’s just crazy enough to work!
And with what are you starting your night drinking?
GO FOAR IT
Here’s a building that’s next to another building. I think it’s a bank:
yeah, come Q4, make sure you use your full Tavon Austin package
Why would one need a visor on, inside at night?
LADIEZ
Good ole Eli Apple
Fiona, once again a bad, bad girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vyj1C8ogtE
LOL
Still Matt Damon’s finest role.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3pyCGnZzYA
valid point, DAK!’s mechanics are indeed very, very good
Why is it not a penalty no matter what if you make contact with a sliding qb? Have we learned nothign from Trent Green?
-Trent Green
/obligatory
/turns on microwave, pisses pants
Parts of Southern Alberta have a METRE of snow, 170 collisions in Southern Alberta today. These fuckwits will argue it is colder, not that things are changing for the worse. MOAR OIL.
They got a litre of snow. That’s nuts
I think it’s cute that Budwiser is trying to pass of their non-alcoholic “Prohibition Brew” as “beer”. Their regular stuff is barely beer
horse piss, now in non-fermented varietal!
all he did was TOUCH him
– Joe Paterno
no flag?………………ok
GOOD CALL.
Kinda wishing I hadn’t benched Chris Godwin at the last minute today.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Had Decilitre gotten you up Hippo would have given you correct advice.
Hell, I was barely awake, and probably not sober, before kickoff.
James Conner better not fuck up tomorrow night.
Or I will cry.
Oh great, Hilter Mouse Corp. going into the streaming bidness
I’m pretty sure we’re somehow in the streaming business
send Entropy out to collect our revenues
All I heard was “unreleased video… toughest stuff he’s ever done.” Did somebody on the Saints make a sex tape with Tara Reid?
Did we really need the Brees iso-cam in the corner there NBC?
look how he FLEXES HIS THUMB. Such a leader!!
Can I interest you in my NOT pyramid scheme?