If the London Game had been an early morning affair, yes, I get it. I’d be totally fine with that. But this is ‘our’ NFL, giving us the illusion of choice when there is in fact none or the choices are garbage. (borrowed from that old crank George Carlinski) Why do we put up with this? Or do we? I guess the league’s Downward Dog numbers indicate that we don’t. I mean, not ‘us’, us. We’ll watch a shit game and ask for more so that we can come on here and try to make one another larf their butts off. It’s a pitiful existence, but what else is there?
TO THE GAME!
Broncos/Chargers:
It’s fade time for Courtland Sutton again because he’ll be getting a big, fat dose of Casey Hayward. Not so for Manny though-the gap between the aforementioned cb and the rest of the Chargers is calculated in light years. But will Flacco go for it? He’d better because Denver is staring at going 0-5 for the very first time in ever.
Packers/Cowboys:
Speaking of lockdown dudes, Green Bay’s Jaire Alexander is PFF’s top ranked cb and he’ll be showcasing his wares against Amari today. You might think twice about starting rb Jones this week as he’s had just the one game with over 40 yardos rushing but his arch-nemesis, (not including Matt LaFleur) Jamaal Williams is out this week. ‘Increased touches lead to increased chances’ is what I whisper to my sixteen year old kid from the closet of his bedroom when he has a girlie over but it also holds true in fantasy football.
Get your engines revving, sportsters!
Dak is going to throw an interception right to #55* just so he can take out his knees** on the return.
*Or someone else, but odds are he’s gonna thrown one.
**Or because he’s just not having a very good game tonight
Hell end up throwing an old interception to Aaron Jones somehow
Well, at least I took the over.
See? That’s how you enjoy the NFL; winning money on various bets. Fuck teams
There’s your dagger. Fuck you Dallas.
I guess battering the receiver in the head is no longer pass interference.
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A win was never going to happen. Don’t sweat the details.
I don’t know about ‘never’, but certainly not after the 1st half.
Send his ass to Lubbock for the week. Let him think about what he’s done.
Ladarius asking Dak why Chunky’s doesn’t have Seafood Chowder any more.
HAHAAHA DAKCEPTION
Holy Fuck. Dak this is not how you get paid.
“???” – Kirk Cousins
DAKPICK!
A SERIES OF DAKFORTUNATE EVENTS
Cat fight on the Green Bay sideline
No flag for throwing around Rodgers?
Shhhhh.
3rd and 22 for Rodgers against Dallas? I will bet my children on a 24 yard completion right here.
Good old Jeff Heath
That said, Jimmy Graham took a dive there. Probably something he learned on the basketball court, which I don’t know if you’ve heard, Graham used to play in college.
Big if true
That was some real gritty holding there.
If there’s one franchise besides the Patriots that I wouldn’t mind the refs pulling for the cowboys over….its the packers.
Since i can’t get a decent radio signal (im too cheap for sirius) I’m listening to mlb. Braves just took a 3 to 1 lead in the ninth.
I have no idea who they’re playing. Announcers haven’t said the other teams name
The Brewers? I’m honestly guessing.
Nope. I can hear hippo losing it from here
The Steelers said that Mason Rudolph had “concussion-like symptoms.”
No shit.
he lived?
/why did they let him walk? get the cart. the was rough to watch
The cart was broke.
Which, you’d figure the people in Pittsburgh would want to keep equipment they use regularly well-maintained.
Is being unconscious a “concussion-like symptom”?
He also had “Tweety Bird circulating around his head” symptoms. Sylvester was not available for comment.
“I knew I was out of it because I imagined the cart I was on was being pushed by a team of assistants and that I was being dragged off the field by my teammates”
Viagra wants me so hard!
Rodgers is going to dick the Dallas D. He’s known for doing it.
The only hope is some other Packer player fucks up.
More and more I don’t care who wins these games, I just want to see somebody clock one of the officials.
“Why’s errybody looking at me?”
-Zeke, stuffing his face with lead paint chips
The officials with the bailouts. How much did Jerrah pay them?!
Ref bailing out Dallas
How was that not hands to the face?
The best part is I can feel the anguish of all the Cowboys fans at the game right now. Yesssssssss.
As a Cowboys fan I disagree.
The best part of this game is the cutaways to a miserable Jerry Jones.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DOUBLE LUL
Dak. Why you do this?
Adam gase named new Dallas head coach
Dakpocalypse?
CADAKCLYSM
LUL
Calm down Troy. There is nothing brewing.
I want to see Garrett throw a haymaker at that ref.
My money’s on the lady ref
LAC with some awful clock management inside of 2 minutes left. Onside kick coming up
So glad I faded Jason Garrett in fantasy.
I started him in the DFO league. Should make up for the uh, 70 points I was down with him and Flacco to go.
Odds Ol’DubbleJ fires Garrett and makes himself the head coach?
“YEEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWWW I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY AND CALLING THE PLAYS!”
Please let Garrett be ejected.
Nice catch though.
Jason Garrett not exactly acting like a Princeton man hmmmmm
The eating tonight at Dinner Club will be most subdued, indeed.
“You can take this challenge flag, good sir, and MASTICATE IT.”
Ginger pain.
Garrett rage?
I will be at the game Thursday. BotG?
Yes please
YES
Absolutely.
So today I learned that we should fully fund and reform the mental health industry and strengthen gun laws to prevent the sales of guns to people who shouldn’t have guns for either legal or mental reasons, or else and crazy guy dressed in clown makeup will kill me and everyone I love.
You went to the Bengals game?
No no…he said he learned something.
We’re breaking away from this one sided contest to bring you something a little more evenly contested like the Gulf War.
First Gulf War? Keep an eye out for the Iraqi Ass Map. I understand there’s gold in that thar bunker.
And nu-clue-lar weapons
I won the Cold War and never got credit for it.
That was a good war. Mostly it was the Military getting revenge for the Vietnam War and showing how much technology has advanced since then.
“You don’t want your sons to die on foreign soil? Fine. Watch him kill a building from the comfort of a desk chair.”
Also, the public perception was changed. It went from “Oh, my God. We’re killing civilians.” to “Hey, war is just like a Nintendo game!”
How’s things going in Jerrah World?
Oh.
Did Marinelli start Jones on his fantasy team?
I’m thinking there’s a whole bunch of fans looking to beat the Arlington traffic.
They’ll probably be disappointed when they discover that most of them are white.
Dpi? Even as a packer fan I’d say no
Someone just saw Roots for the first time
“The other night Melania was being a real Kunta Kinte a lot of people were saying bigly.”
“However, Toby is a much more dignified name than Kunta Kinte; that sounds too much like the name of some guy from some shithole country in Afrindia.”
We’ve always been at war with Afrindia
Correction: Someone told him about Roots for the first time.
Maybe a bullet paper on PowerPoint, with some snappy pix of that guy that had a Fram air filter for eyes in Star Trek TNG.
Chinamen built the railroads, them and drunken Irish.
How can a team cross midfield five times in 2.5 quarters and have no points?
Maybe because they put chili on their spaghetti? Just spitballing here-which is also put on the spaghetti.