Your “Free Sometimes Means ‘Awesome'” Saturday Evening Open Thread

So, my brother is at the Notre Dame – USC game in South Bend tonight. Beerbrother was invited to give a speech there yesterday, and instead of a per diem he accepted tickets to the game. I asked him if he spit on the Joe Theismann statue, and he responds that he actually met him…and asked him about his Argos career.

All kidding aside, when in South Bend, you take the tour of the field.

    

The hotel where he’s staying is full of USC fans, so he asked me for the worst thing he could say that would guarantee the most offense. I said to wait in a line for something and then ask, “Is this the line to work a train on Aunt Becky’s daughter? Because, I can pay.”


Sunday broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)

CBS EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█ Houston @ Kansas City – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█ New Orleans @ Jacksonville – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

█ Cincinnati @ Baltimore – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█ NO GAME due to blackout enforced by local home team on FOX

————————————————————

CBS LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Dallas @ NY Jets – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
█ Tennessee @ Denver – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
█ NO GAME due to blackout enforced by local home team on FOX
————————————————————

FOX SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Philadelphia @ Minnesota – Kenny Albert, Charles Davis
█ Seattle @ Cleveland – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston
█ Washington @ Miami – Sam Rosen, Ronde Barber
█ San Francisco @ LA Rams (LATE) – Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth
█ Atlanta @ Arizona (LATE) – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
There appear to be a fair number of lopsided-looking contests tomorrow, so that doesn’t bode well for the viewing experience. As for that Wasington-Miami, WOOF! It might be time for CBS to try that one-off where NBC had no announcers. It was Jets-Dolphins, but Washington is just as suckable.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • ALCS Game 1: Yankees at Astros – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Red Wings – 7:00PM CBC
    • Jets at Black Hawks – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Blues at Habs – 7:00PM | City
    • Flyers at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
    • Falmes at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Mississippi at Missouri – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Southern California at Notre Dame – 7:30PM | NBC
    • Florida at LSU – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Hawaii at Boise State – 10:15PM | ESPN2
    • Washington at Arizona – 11:00PM | FS1
  • CFL:
    • Lions vs. Eskimos – 7:00PM | TSN
  • Rugby World Cup: (weather permitting)
    • Namibia vs. Canada – 11:15PM | TSN / NBCSN
    • USA vs. Tonga – 1:45AM | TSN / NBCSN
    • Wales vs. Uruguay – 4:15AM | TSN / NBCSN
    • Japan vs. Scotland – 6:45AM | TSN / NBCSN

Enjoy your night, folks. Next Saturday I’ll be away in Seattle – because BeerBrother gets to use the box for the Seahawks game. As stated above, when it’s offered, you graciously accept the free thing.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I could draw I’d do one of Trump pissing on a Kurdish flag (do they have a flag?) and another of him hurling a lawyer-looking guy under a bus.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It seems dangerous to include anyone other than Trump in these paintings (i.e. John Bolton) cause they all end up either quitting or getting fired.

Unsurprised

?

If you're down on yourself for not exercising or not eating well or not getting enough sleep or not doing some other thing understood by science to be healthful, you should know I do all of those things and constantly feel like I'm dying

— normal and relaxed (@InternetHippo) October 13, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Four minutes in and the USA isn’t losing yet!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! American Rugby!

WCS

Fuck yeah, Formula One at a somewhat reasonable time.

Mr. Ayo

#BestCoast

WCS

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Brick Meathook

They’re loading that Washington player on the cart and taking him to the cemetery.

Let’s give him a big hand, folks!

SonOfSpam

Dead huskies aren’t much fun.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Has anyone mentioned how much this PG&E thing reeks of 2000 when Enron was blacking out California because it could (and somehow kinda sorta didn’t even make them money)

Gratliff

Flyers shootout losses are so automatic at this point that I don’t even bother watching them

Wakezilla

Venting some frustration:

Why is losing weight harder than gaining weight? It’s such bullshit.

I have an outside shot of meeting my new Year’s resolution goals by the end of December, but with how things are going lately, I’ll probably reach my goal in early-mid February. (I have 28 pounds to go).

I didn’t start taking my weight loss seriously until June because I had more urgent and pressing things to attend that required a more sedentary Wakezilla. Also, I threw out my back 3 times this year, which didn’t help.

Anyway, the past month, I trained like a god damn pro athlete and I lost “just” 10 pounds. ( That’s not a lot when you weigh north of 240). With that said, I have lost a ton of inches.

The thing is, I need surgery and my doctor told me he wouldn’t operate on me until I was at least 220. I have my why and reason, but it is also difficult to go balls to the wall when a lot of movements hurt, which I just fight through the pain.

My current setback is I have a strained hamstring.i suspect it’s from running 7km when it was -8 outside. Lesson learned, just…. Frustrated

Unsurprised

Even if you don’t hit your goal, you’re getting close. I’ve officially regained all the weight I lost last year and almost all of it – the last 40 – was regained in the last six months. I gained weight in summer somehow.

So, at least you’re doing better than me and a lot of other people. But you’re still working to better yourself, and that’s what’s most important.

SonOfSpam

Keep working dude. I’m in the same fat boat. We have to live to see the LA Olympics.

Unsurprised

It’s great that you’ve lost inches and probably gained muscle training, though. That’s really good for the long term. But diet’s at least 75% of losing weight and I know that can be frustrating as Hell. I stress eat and that’s what’s killing me. But you also have to make sure that you don’t wreck yourself worse trying to stay on track. Strained hammies and back going out three times is a lot. I get it, but I pulled a muscle in my back doing squats in August 2009 and I still get reminders of it every so often.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If it’s an option, take up swimming. Risk of injury is basically nonexistent.

Col. Duke LaCross

I would like to take this opportunity to wholly endorse Yeah Right’s Italian Beef Sandwich recipe. Had to crock pot it today because of work, but goddamn, that is outstanding. GREAT HUSTLE.

Unsurprised

It’s a good sandwich, Donny

Unsurprised

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Spur

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Redshirt

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is over. And I didn’t cry once.

Okay, now I’m crying but they showed a scene from “You’re in My Head Like a Catchy Song” with Applejack’s parents. That’s this show’s version to “Seymour waiting for Fry to return”. That one scene where once you know what it is, you’ll tear up when you see it.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck you for reminding me of Seymour. Goddammit.

WCS

He was a good boy.

Brick Meathook

I have no idea what any of this means.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

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Spur

Not according to HBO

Horatio Cornblower

No idea who that is.

Redshirt

That’s sounds like a very specific denial. Why don’t you have a seat over there?

Horatio Cornblower

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Andy Reid calls dibs on the uneaten Baconator.

Unsurprised

Sydney Sweeney. This year’s version of Alexandra Daddario in True Detective.

Spur

Good for LSU

Redshirt

Stomach hurts. Need antiacid. Or liquor. Or a knife.

Horatio Cornblower

Bud Light Platinum’s approach of promoting their beer by basically saying that Bud Light sucks is interesting, to say the least.

Unsurprised

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Horatio Cornblower

Someone clearly sucks at Risk.

Senor Weaselo

All she had was Ukraine.

Horatio Cornblower

Should have gone with Kamchatka. No one ever sees it coming from Kamchatka.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At that. Iceland is where empires are founded.

Brick Meathook

The point is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women. That’s just obvious.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s good philosophizin’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I certainly don’t agree that the meaning of life is to listen to women complain, but to each his own, I guess.

Unsurprised

It’s the refund line for fail children like the Waltons who didn’t earn their degrees

Viva La Tabula Raza

Da fuq yu tawkin bout?
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Horatio Cornblower

Zach Britton makes my balls sweat

Senor Weaselo

Good thing he’s now Zack with a K! Too bad we don’t care.

Horatio Cornblower

He wins a World Series this year I’ll start spelling it with a K.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these and goddamn is it good.
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Spur

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herodotus450

Emory Jones has taken this offense, a little rough around the edges, and really smoothed it out.

Horatio Cornblower

Nice

Horatio Cornblower

This inning is a perfect thing to bring up whenever someone complains about instant replay in baseball. Umpires would have completely changed the tone of the game with awful calls.

Senor Weaselo

And somehow, none of them are Angel Hernandez.

Horatio Cornblower

That fucking guy should be banned.

Senor Weaselo

From baseball. Or judging. Or using his eyes.

Col. Duke LaCross

And Joe West, and Laz Diaz.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

If I were a pitcher and the manager put the shift on I would refuse to throw the ball until he took it off.

herodotus450

What if it was a really nice shift though, like a really nice cotton?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s good hustle.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, I’m not a monster…

herodotus450

Didn’t realize the Yanquis lineup was so stacked that they have Aaron Judge batting 2nd.

Horatio Cornblower

It really is something. And relatively cheap too, although that’s going to be very different over the next couple of years as arbitration kicks in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My drinking goal for the evening is to end up as dazed and insensate as that poor hawk that flew into my glass wall this morning. Let’s begin!

Horatio Cornblower

Um, yeah, sure. “Begin”

SonOfSpam

I’m one strong beer (22 oz) in, and switching to lite beer. I’ll try to keep up.

rockingdog

last funny:
I told my 14yo there’s a muppet who is dealing with drug addiction and he said “they all are. Look at their eyes”

Spur

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herodotus450

LSU must lead the league in injury timeouts by now.

Senor Weaselo

Gleyber Torres for 2 months of Chapman looks better and better.

Horatio Cornblower

Even the Cubs can’t complain.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Damn Comicon nerds.

Horatio Cornblower

She’s a fox.

Literally.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Things not looking so good for Spacemen at this point.

rockingdog

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herodotus450

Famous Bollywood actress Ytur Mim?

WCS

“I’d live to solve, Pat.”

— Bill B., Foxboro, MA

Viva La Tabula Raza

Any female that I meet and take home and have fun with is someone’s mom or even grandmom. I hate it if the lady tries to introduce me to her offspring. “Dude, your mom? Hottest fuck I can remember.” Not a comfortable feeling.

SonOfSpam

Start fucking dudes instead. Problem solved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Barbara Eden was something else back in the day.

“She could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.”
—Larry Hagman

Gratliff

I love that watching CBC from Michigan gets you a picture quality you’d expect watching Pornhub on a TI-86

SonOfSpam

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Hmmmmm, Julie Newmar.

SonOfSpam

I like that she wrote that nice message to Wong Foo.

herodotus450

Someone should tell the refs that Sandusky and Joe Pa don’t work at Penn St anymore, screwing them now doesn’t do anything.

Redshirt

They allowed it to happen. Never forget.

Unsurprised

The university shouldn’t exist.