I’m glad that the NFL heard my wailings and gnashing of teeth last week and ended up scheduling a morning game. And by ‘heard’, I mean ‘went about their business and did what they were going to do anyway’. They’re quite gifted in that regard.

So, you see the the banner pic. That is A Full English Breakfast and according to my minutes-long research, dates back to the 12th or 113th century, was likely fried in mud and has a number of slight variations across the once-mighty U.K. Much like a game, let’s break ‘er down.

Eggs: Well yeah, of course. This is par for the course. Sunnyside, over-easy, scrambled-I’ll take what you got and ask for more.

Bacon: Mmmm, nothing wrong at all here. As far as pig conduits are concerned, this is the best. A wee bit crispy please!

Sausages: Tread carefully here-I’ve had some nasty versions of these over the years and now I just pass.

Black Pudding: Oatmeal and pork blood can’t be made edible in my opinion and yet the Brits keep banging away at, eight frickin’ centuries and counting now.

Beans: I never think to add beans to brekkie but this is a good idea. Protein-rich and something I loved to pile onto toast as a kid, I prefer mine delicately sweetened with maple sugar. Next!

Toast: A venerable addition to any morning breakfast across the civilized world, get at it quick before it goes cold and/or mushy. A finer conveyor of anything else on the plate, its crunchiness offsets some of the more water soluble items. Speaking of…

Roasted Tomatoes: Just stop it. I’ve never had a good one, ever. It’s bad enough that all tomatoes (outside of your lovely garden of course) now have lost any semblance of flavor, the amount of liquid in this ‘fruit’ guarantees that it will lose its structure immediately when you knife into it.

Mushrooms: A tolerable pass. I prefer mine in a creamy soup or beside or on top of a lovely steak but that’s just me.

TO THE GAME!

Panthers/Bucs:

It’s just hard to predict how teams will react to conditions, the flight, the food, the strange accents, driving on the wrong side of the road, the buses with the extra story, the shouts of ‘guv’na’ everywhere, the fact that kickers of the ball are so revered, the fog, and so many other variables. I provide last week’s game as my primary evidence. The defense rests, yer onour.

Isn’t time you had tea? Type away, gents and lady folk.