2019 Quotables – Week 6 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Okay. Here you go. Please use the below gifs to produce entertaining commentary.

These are your Week 6 Quotables submissions.


Is being a crash test dummy considered a football move and, if so, that’s should have been ruled a fumble!

This actually feels more appropriate recorded as a video of someone’s tv.

Meet Robert Saleh, the next head coach of YOUR Washington Redskins!

After 5+ seasons, Swagger, a 145 pound Bullmastiff, makes his final run onto the field in Cleveland.

At least no one can accuse the Cardinals of spending too much time choreographing their TD celebrations.

Presented without comment.

I believe this dance is called The Fortnight.

Haven’t seen a 45 seemingly named Stupid screw over someone on his team this bad since whenever the last foreign policy decision Trump made.
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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2019 Quotables – Week 6 (Results) – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] 2019 Quotables – Week 6 (Submissions) – October 15, 2019 […]

yeah right

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“THIS HIT RIGHT HERE? I CALL IT THE JFK!”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Back. And to the left.

BACK. And to the left.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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We’ve reached Condition: MAROON

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I haven’t seen a Cardinal lose his balance and tumble to the ground like that since the last time a cop told Steve Keim to stand on one leg and recite the alphabet backwards.

nomonkeyfun

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Dixon was later heard saying to Stupar, “Ah, don’t want your life.”

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And a reminder: Vote JAMES for this week’s DWTS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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This actually feels more appropriate recorded as a video of someone’s tv.

It adds an air of wistfulness. If you didn’t bother to acknowledge it at the time, it’s gone forever.

Like Chargers fans.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Congratulations! It’s an encephalopathy!

nomonkeyfun

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Meet Robert Saleh, the next head coach of YOUR Washington [*Redacteds]!

“Godammit, no fucking way. What the fuck did I do to deserve that punishment.”

-R. Saleh

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

“Do not go gentle into that good night

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light” – Dylan Thomas

Enrico Pallazzo

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I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT BALLERS IS OVER! MY BOY, THE ROCK, SAVED THE SPORT THOUGH!

Enrico Pallazzo

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The Pope never forgets, bitch.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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I haven’t seen a Giant put his balls in the wrong place this poorly since that time Eli tried to copy his big brother and teabag a rookie at Sleep Away (Training) Camp!

LemonJello
LemonJello

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/femur drums rumble in mono with bursts of static

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“We find this to be offensive. Not to any one tribe, but to football fans in general.”

LemonJello
LemonJello

Alternate: “I call this the Bedsheet Boogie in honor of Aaron Hernandez.”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

HOOOOOLY SHIT!

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“He Shazier-ed the hell out of him on that play! I also seem to have wet my pants.”
-Trent Green to Ian Eagle, on air

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“Who’s leg do I have to hump to get a little privacy so I can poop on this field?”

nomonkeyfun

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And people thought Mike Singletary was unhinged as a coach?

SonOfSpam

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“So I wake up in the hotel room bathroom, and this guy here is taking close-up pictures of my bare feet and sportin a mighty chub,,,and I check for my kidneys and they’re still intact…”

LemonJello
LemonJello

No reason to try to top this one. My only regret is that I have but one +1 to give…

SonOfSpam

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“I am proud to march across this field one last time, but I want everyone to know that I’m not down with the closet case holding my leash. Thank you and woof.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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The Arizona Cardinals have a similar mascot in Steve Keim, affectionately known as “Swigger”.

SonOfSpam

Hey, only WE get to use that word.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Suspending Vontaze Burfict appears to have only made him stronger. He now has the ability to possess the bodies of other linebackers.

Game Time Decision

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Why can’t he miss like that in the bedroom?
-Tiffany Rivers

nomonkeyfun

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Eli is no longer the least accurate Giant.

Game Time Decision

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Purple monkey dishwasher
-Somewhere, Trent Green

Game Time Decision

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non-gendered cow persons playoff chances in GIF form
/ stealing from last week
//ducks

Game Time Decision

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The feeling you get after a bowel movement

Horatio Cornblower

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Fortunately Gumby was physically prepared for hits like this, and his NFL career continued uninterrupted

Horatio Cornblower

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Seems appropriate, as most Cleveland fans run once every 5 years and then quit.

Horatio Cornblower

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I have no idea who this guy is. There is no joke.

Horatio Cornblower

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“Nailed it!”-Blair Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

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I haven’t seen fancy footwork like this from anyone affiliated with the Steelers since Rothlisberger’s attorney retired.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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“Act like you have been there before” implies you have been there before, so definitely not applicable to the *Dacteds.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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“This is the first time I have seen the mindless encouragement display of the brofest kegger performed in a structured environment” – Diane Fossey

Sharkbait

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NFL Fims presents: The Zapruder Film

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“I could have done that for 60 cents on the dollar.”
–Austin Ekeler

Sharkbait

Stupar in a stupor after stupidly getting punted into
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“And now, my impression of FDR”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Why do they keep airing these despicable Trump rallies when we know they’re inciting violence?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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David Tyree’s helmet giveth, and David Tyree’s helmet taketh away

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Shit, even Stretch Armstrong doesn’t bend like that!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If only we could be sure what a “Texan” is so we could decide if it’s off to the glue factory or the slaughterhouse

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If he gets any lower he might find Dan Snyder’s moral compass

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Was the flag for failing to knock him unconscious?”
–Vontaze B.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If that were a true Browns mascot he would have immediately taken a dump on the field

nomonkeyfun

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Jermaine Carter a man who took the ideals of DJ Durkin and ran with them.

nomonkeyfun

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

The answer is always Yakety Sax for any Chargers play.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

These are fine submissions and I wish you all luck. God bless.