Last season was good. I won’t deny that. My only setback was at the switchyard when I ran into… complications. Ahh, no harm done-to him or me. And that’s important-you’ve got to recognize a dicey situation when you see one and extract yourself as quickly as possible. There’s always another day if you play the cards you’re dealt correctly.

This season has been good so far. There’s plenty of targets out there if you know where to look and if I do one thing well, it’s biding my time. Some of my critics would point out the debacle at the truck stop as a failure on my part but let me respond. If that kid had been ten years older he’d be dust right now. A number of guys in my fan base don’t understand my over-arching rationale. People that make mistakes in their lives over and over again and end up in dire circumstances need to be eliminated from our community so that our community can thrive. It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

That kid. He was in a really bad spot but it wasn’t because of mistakes he made. He was just trying to get by and didn’t have the tools yet. That’s why I gave him an opportunity. And I sincerely hope that he gets by and pulls himself out of his situation. And you should too. Look, I understand the effects of bloodlust just like you do but there must, must be a line. Otherwise we’re just animals.*

Oh, btw, I’ve got a special treat for you next week. See you then.

TO THE GAME!

Eagles/Cowboys:

How bad is the te spot fantasy-wise? Ertz is the 5th ranked dude in PPR averaging 12.6. [starts singing] Where have you gone, Gronk Dimaggio, fantasy players turn their lonely eyes to you… wooo, wooo, wooo. I’m just streaming the spot the rest of the year hoping to get a measley 6 points and make it up somewhere else. As far as the game itself, no matter the victor the NFC East will still be as muddled as a mojito.

*my lawyer has advised me to reiterate that the opinions expressed here are those of a character created by the poster and are not of the poster himself

Go for it!