Your “You’ll Watch ‘The Battle of Jersey’ and You’ll Like It!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

God, it’s been so long since we chatted about my fantasy money leagues! Well, I’m doing good-1st in one at 7-2 (highest scorer and least points scored against) and in the other I’m also in first…at 5-4, tied with four other guys. Logjam! Sooo, Parker vs. the Colts or Brown vs. the Browns? Help me out here.

TO THE GAMES!

Lions/Bears:

If you play Golloday or Jones be advised that Windy City hasn’t given up a wideout score since week three. A fantasy yapper said this week he’d take Ingram over Montgomery and I was a bit surprised. The Lions have surrendered 120 to Jacobs, 143 combined to Saquon, 142 to Dalvin and 136 combined yards to Jamaal Williams over the last four weeks. I’m guessing he was valuing floor over ceiling? (Ingram has Cincy)

Ravens/Bengals:

LAMAR! is at 637 rushing and should significantly add to that today. That’ll put him ahead of Mike Vick’s record of 1,039 and he doesn’t have any dogs in his closet! This being a lost season and all, don’t you think Cincy should just put A.J. Green to bed and be done with it? What is there to be gained throwing him out there with rook qb Ryan Finley? Speaking of the latter, he’s the [counts on fingers] ‘umpteenth’ first year qb to start this year.

Bills/Browns:

Kareem Hunt has risen from the grave/half-year suspension and Chubb owners from coast to coast are blubbering about his reduced timeshare. Easy now fellas, Hunt hasn’t had any contact and has only worked out this last little while-he’ll be eased in and it might be at most 8 touches. It’s the Dontrell Hilliard guy that will suffer. Did the Giants sell high and get out while the getting was good? OBJ’s PFF numbers have dipped every single year since his first outing, down from 127.6 to his current 77.1. Today he gets Tra’Davious White who hasn’t allowed a TD in coverage all year.

Chiefs/Titans:

It would appear at first glance that today’s game flow might tell you to fade Derrick Henry but the Titans are a stubborn bunch and will always just plug away with the run game. And they also have him in the pass game as well. Sure it’s only 11 receptions but he averages 18+ every time he grabs it. Mahomes is good to go after practicing Wednesday.

Falcons/Saints:

Kamara is back but Murray did so well in his absence that you’d think that the timeshare would be altered in the latter’s favor. Julio’s always in play but his ceiling will be monitored by cb Lattimore. He’s the fella that got his shit back together in early October and caused the Saints D to vault up the rankings as a result. Qb Ryan is back, so can I get some scores for Hooper and Ridley please?

Giants/Jets: 

Ahhh, the pearl of this slate’s offerings! Which rancid D will buckle first? Or will they take turns? Will Unfrozen Caveman QB have more intercepts or will Danny TenCent have more fumbles? So. Many. Questions. Hey, if you’re thin at wr you may want to take a flyer on Darius Slayton again. With Engram gone and Shepherd still absent, Slayton will get 2-3 homerun balls thrown to him. A Giants O that tries to stretch the field-I never thought I’d see it again.

Cards/Bucs:

Should be a matter of minutes before these guys both abandon the run game and start flinging the holy hell out of the ball. David “The Gimp” Johnson has finally put the ballgag down and plays a different game today. So you Drake owners out there might want to sit your fella and see how this plays out. Hint: DJ will re-injure himself.

Have at it, one and all!