Your “The Larks, Still Bravely Singing, Fly” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

It’s a holiday weekend in both countries this weekend. It’s Veteran’s Day in the US,

and Remembrance Day in Canada.

The History major in me says to get out to a ceremony on Monday.

I wasn’t able to serve. Pleurisy got me in my 20s & meant I wouldn’t pass the physical; I know because I checked. I’ve had relatives on both sides of the family serve in the Canadian, US & British armed forces, so I understand the sacrifice even if I never actually made it myself.

One of my favourite stories, which I may have recounted here before, involves my Aunt Judy. My dad’s family was from Kirkland Lake, Ontario.

which just so happened to be the home of a radar station that was part of the Pinetree Line of defence against Soviet bombers.

  

I asked her one day why she married an American soldier like Uncle Ralph. “Robert,” she said while taking a long drag on a Marlboro Slim, “Kirkland Lake was a very small town. I knew all the boys, and your Uncle looked good in his uniform. I knew where your Uncle could take me. I made the choice to get out.” She saw the world, and then they settled in Texas – New Braunfels to be exact. Nice place. In fact, all three of my dad’s sisters married servicemen from that joint airbase, and none of them ever went back to Kirkland Lake.

To one and all – thank you for your service.

And now, a word from [DFO]’s newest sponsor – Dunkin Donuts.


Sunday Broadcast maps – courtesy 506sports.com

CBS SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█ Kansas City @ Tennessee – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

█ Detroit @ Chicago – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█ Baltimore @ Cincinnati – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█ Buffalo @ Cleveland – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

█ Miami @ Indianapolis (LATE) – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

————————————————————–

FOX EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█ Atlanta @ New Orleans – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█ NY Giants @ NY Jets – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█ Arizona @ Tampa Bay – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█ NO GAME due to blackout enforced by local home team on CBS

————————————————————–

FOX LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█ Carolina @ Green Bay – Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

█ LA Rams @ Pittsburgh – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

With the exception of the Carolina-Green Bay game, these all look like dogs. So unless you’ve got pill money riding on these like Hippo does, maybe spend part of the day with your family?

And now, a word from tonight’s other sponsor – Totino’s Pizza Rolls.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Flyers at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Kings at Habs – 7:00PM | City TV
    • Hurricanes at Senators – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Blues at Flames – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA: (national broadcasts of note)
    • Football:
      • Missouri at Georgia – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
      • Appalachian State at South Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Clemson at North Carolina State – 7:30PM | ABC
      • Iowa State at Oklahoma – 8:00PM | FOX
      • Wyoming at Boise State – 10:15PM | ESPN
      • Nevada at San Diego State – 10:30PM | ESPN2
    • Basketball:
      • Texas at Purdue – 7:00PM | FS1
      • Rhode Island at Maryland – 9:00PM | FS1
  • NBA:
    • Mavericks at Grizzlies – 8:00PM | TSN4

That’s it for me this week. I’ll see you Tuesday night.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopyBrick MeathookMr. AyoUnsurprisedViva La Tabula Raza Recent comment authors
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

WTF is balls?

No EPL post and no TITs post this week. I’m losing track of the days without these blogs.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— Blair Walsh

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know what that hashtag means, but I hope the people* of Alabama blame president trump 100%.

*Term does not apply to Roy Moore voters

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t seen anything recent from Sam Gross, but that dude was one sick mofo when he was active.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I can’t find the one where the guy is getting a BJ from the hand dryer in the men’s room. Maybe even the internet draws the line at some point.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

There’s always monkeys:
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I live in John Callahan’s old neighborhood. Once I realized it and asked around, I was blown away. He really did used to tear ass down the sidewalks in his chair all the time. Anyway, both of them and some others had comics in these Truly Tasteless Comics anthologies in the 90s and I wish I still had them.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So is there some secret reason for blue turf?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

SMURFs

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Haven’t seen GEICO mime ad until just now. Marcel Marceau screams from beyond the grave.

Senor Weaselo

But silently, because he’s a mime.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

In the cemetery, no one can hear you scream.

yeah right

I feel just like Tom Waits.

Today the Reedley fucking Tigers traveled to Monterrey Peninsula – I have a rough idea of the central hopefully non-burnt coast of my chosen state.

58-38 Reedley fucking tigers.

Don’t any of you fuckers want to play?

Boosh!

Gratliff

Oh, hey the Flyers are in a playoff spot now. Time for a game against a strong conference rival–Boston, in this case–that goes sideways so bad they start calculating the draft lottery.

Horatio Cornblower

“A little early contact…”

Yeah, we call it pass interference, but go ahead and close your eyes for Oklahoma when you would have called it on Iowa State.

Horatio Cornblower

Gottdam! Iowa State.

Gratliff

Renee Young commenting on her husband getting thrown into barbed wire in another company like she didn’t know he let a dude used a sawzall on him
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2sc9uoRUI1qhjbxeo1_400.gif
EDIT: Occurs to me y’all might not wanna see a dude’s forehead get literally sawed open

Horatio Cornblower

For the record I am far more in favoUr of pictures of half-nekkid people than pictures of dipshits getting cut open with power tools.

Gratliff

Yeah, I changed it to a link instead after some consideration. I’m numb to meaningless, but ultimately harmless gore.

Horatio Cornblower

Nah, you’re good. See below. We’re a fucked up society.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

As someone with a weak stomach, the only gore I can handle is Al. And that’s just barely. Fucker should have contested in 2000.

Horatio Cornblower

Which is more a comment on society than anything else. Christ, when I’m at the gym watching Netflix and smoking cigarettes while using the elliptical, I’ll dive across the TV screen if some tits show up, but if I’m watching some guy get hacked to pieces with a samurai sword? Eh, whatever Grandma; you knew the risks when you took the machine next to me.

Horatio Cornblower

Boots On The Ground report from my son: He’s at a Bill Burr show in Boston and says that Burr is bombing.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Boston Comedy Show Bomber” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They didn’t get the message that miscegenation is legal now

Horatio Cornblower

“Gunslinger” mention in the Oklahoma-Iowa State game. Everybody drink!

Well, OK, then, everybody drink more.

Gratliff

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King Hippo

I hope some yahoo really did that in-store

King Hippo
Horatio Cornblower

Iowa State is threatening to make this interesting against Boomer Sooner

Horatio Cornblower

Welp, Oklahoma has put a stop to that nonsense.

King Hippo

I turned the teevee box back on. BLAME HIPPO

King Hippo

Sheisse, we ain’t win 2nd half after all.

Spur
Spur

Coast Guard do SO MUCH and get no respect

King Hippo

like a less-gay Navy, right?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

As we used to say when I was in the fleet, “It’s not gay if you’re underway!”

Horatio Cornblower

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Ryan Leaf is the color guy for the SDSU game tonight. He must really need the money, because he knows what’s looking for him in the basement.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Your blood can’t be sacrificed to the blood god if you sold it all this morning.

Horatio Cornblower

Wyoming-Boise State now? Oh late Saturday college football
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King Hippo

I made that very joke in my preview text

Horatio Cornblower

Probably why it sprung to mind when Wyoming flashed across my TV screen

King Hippo

NC State still winning the 2nd half 10-7. That would have got you a point in the old CBA standings!

Horatio Cornblower

Unless I’m hearing things that aren’t being said, (and I’m only on my first beer), Ryan Leaf is doing coloUr for the San Diego State game.

King Hippo

I’d bet you a rail of Percocet that u rite

King Hippo

DERPIEST SHIT EVAR

King Hippo

well, they was holding anyhoo, dumb chucklefucks

King Hippo

Shitty Wolves trying to backdoor cover Mr. Ayo’s insane bet.

King Hippo

Pretty epic dick-shitting, Happy Appy

King Hippo

Hold our beer! – South Cakalaky

Horatio Cornblower

I got bounced for the opening of San Jose State-Nevada, because everyone knows that the opening kick-off is the most important part of the game.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It sets the standard for bed shitting to come.

Horatio Cornblower

App State is gonna beat South Carolina.

King Hippo

Maybe not

EDIT – probably not

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, much like my senior prom I was a bit premature on that one.

Just kidding. I didn’t come close to getting laid at my prom.

King Hippo

Premature Ejaculation would make a GREAT prom theme!

Gratliff

We did it. We found the good cop.
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Gratliff

Possibly also the bad boy

Horatio Cornblower

Fucking furries are getting a little too public with their kinks.

Gratliff

Mr. Mayor, beginning at 4pm I will reveal a gender every hour until my demands are met.

— mattman (@cushbomb) November 9, 2019

Gratliff

AEW has judges out for the title match for some reason and one of them is Dean Malenko, who famously attempted to murder every cruiserweight in WCW
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Horatio Cornblower

Everybody knows that NC State doesn’t really start playing until the 4th quarter, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Horatio Cornblower

Sir

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We are off to the theater.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh an we fancy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Very much so, yes

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Never heard of a titty bar referred to as “theater,” but it works at some level.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Ice Alouettes hold on to beat the … Ice Rams? Ice Chargers?

Gratliff

Regret to inform you that the Flyers are going to overtime for 85th time this year

herodotus450
herodotus450

Never and still don’t get the hype over Amanda Seyfried, plus she’s still just the dead girl from Veronica Mars to me.

King Hippo

u mean teh HOT ded girl ,, smh

Brocky

Where? – Ed Gein

for the record I fucking hate myself for this joke

King Hippo

now THAT is a corpse you’d pay to be left alone with for half an hour amirite??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Well I thought it was hilarious.”

[gives you a high five]

– Fitzpatrick Bateman

Brocky

…there was hype? I thought her sole purpose in films was to be the “average-looking” friend to make the leads look even more attractive

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Is she the one who looks like a hammerhead shark with lips?

Gratliff

Apparently, ICE was rolling through Queens today like they were invading Fallujah. Very normal, non-fascist organization.
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herodotus450
herodotus450

Ya but that looks like a German Schnouzer, so, justified.

King Hippo

but they brought a PUPPY!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Don’t let the attire fool you. They aren’t police. They don’t have police powers. They have a very narrow set of law enforcement powers and in principle can get fucked sideways.

In reality, getting slammed face-first on the pavement and detained doesn’t discriminate based on statutory powers.

King Hippo

what they lack in statutory powers, they make up in Suck It, Libtard!!!1111

Gratliff

Rebranding the Schutzstaffel to own the libs

Horatio Cornblower

Every time an ICE agent chokes on his own bile and dies and angel gets its wings.

Brocky
King Hippo

that diamond “price match” guarantee – if you find a lower place, we will dock the pay of our Zimbabwean slave children!

King Hippo

(well, their food allowance, at least)

King Hippo

NC State didn’t even cover 34.5 in the first half. And Son de Clem hasn’t even tried all of Q2.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

0-2. Dammit.