Get Well Andre Gomes – 9 November 2019 Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

No doubt by now, you’ve heard a bit about the above-pictured handsome devil (sorry about the lack of Bama/Bayou Bengals cheerleaders, you’ll live).  Enough to know NOT to Google the horrific injury he suffered, resulting from a snidey (but not malicious) Son Heung-min tackle.

All the human emotion and forgiveness talk was cool with me.  Lesser footy, despite its undeserved American reputation, is very much a physical, contact sport.  Guys get concussed all the time.  Grotesque leg injuries?  Less frequent, but inevitable.  There doesn’t NEED to be a villian.

But this time, there are two.  Spurs (as a club) for appealing Son’s red card.  And the corrupt-as-fuck English FA (football association) for agreeing to rescind it.  Because Spurs have earned the stature of a “big club” – one of the Sky Five/Six that play by a different set of rules.  The officiating bends over backwards to kiss their ass (not one, but TWO horrific VAR decisions went against Everton last Sunday, playing at home), and the powers-that-be reward that.  Because to them, TV is supposed to bring “stars” to the people, not good, honest, FAIR competition.  You likely noted how positive NBCSN was during Leicester’s title run (and acknowledging that sommet was happening well before Christmas) – not so in England.  There, Sky Sports treated them as an irritant, turd in the punch bowl spoiling their sweet, pre-arranged narrative.

It is threatening to ruin the game all over the continent, but especially the Premiership.  Obvious parallels to NFL officiating debacles (and “ref ball”) abound.  TV money is the golden goose all over, but they might pluck it away to the feces rotting inside – if and when the next generation of potential fans doesn’t give a fuck.

That will be a mighty big reckoning.  I probably won’t live to see it.  But just like the NFL’s malaise, it shows no signs of getting any better.

Not that you see anything in the British media – Andre Gomes barely merits a mention.  The 26-year old Barcelona prospect, who overcame career stagnation and (which he bravely was very public about) mental health struggles trying to find his professional footing.  But along came last season’s loan to Everton, who supported and loved the clever central midfielder.  He insisted over the summer that Barca make a permanent sale to Everton.  No others need apply.  He got his wish.

And now his career is very much in the balance.

Good news is that the surgery went as well as it could have, and Gomes has a fair chance to be back for the 2020-21 season’s start.  But not at 100%, of course.  That will never be seen again, at Goodison Park, or any other pitch.  Everton’s midfield was already on life support due to Jean-Phillipe Gbamin’s core muscle injury (MAYBE back in January), now it’s a shambles.  The Toffees will have to piece together what they can, and stagger to the finish line – likely in the 10-12 range.  I guess we are lucky that so much trash at the bottom meand relegation isn’t a serious concern.  But fuck me, it’s depressing.  And it’s not SPURS (or really even Son personally – a good dude by all acounts) who deserves your sympathy.

Chelsea hosts Palace in the early fixture (7:30, NBCSN) – but I wouldn’t bother too much with alarms for that.  Uncle Woy (himself the perpetrator of a much shittier leg-breaker tackle) seems to have run out of his anti-football magic.  Frank Lampard is also a douchebag, but having success.  As douchebags are wont to do.

Spurs (home to Team Knifey) and Everton (away to Saints) both play in the 10:00 window.  I can guarantee which gets broadcast TV coverage without even looking.  Cherries at Newcastly, Hammers at Burnley are also lurking about.  YMMV.

Leicester host this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), sitting in 3rd position while Arsenal “languish” in 5th.  Unai Emery is under immense pressure, for drifting about pretty much the same table position as late-stage Arsene Wenger frequented.  That fanbase is weird (sorry, Horatio).  Should be a cracker of a match.

United host Brighton and Wolves welcome surprising Villa on Sunday morning (9:00, NBCSN and Gold – maybe CNBC too), but that’s all prelade to 1st place assholes Liverpool and the visiting defending champs (11:30, NBCSN).  Much like this same fixture last season, City need a real response (and all three points) to de-rail a possible runaway, smug train.  PRETTY PLEASE, Pep.  Do a good.

Perhaps the other lads will be by to discuss other matters.  Hippo tired.

Paedo State (-6.5) at Minnesota (Noon, ABC)

Wow, this is pretty good #HailGamblorRespek towards Mister Row the Boat in a Weird Shirt guy.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if 8-0 Gophers turn into 9-3 real quick-like.

Baylor (-2.5) at TCU (Noon, FS1)

Hey, is this the window where all the bad touchers go down (PHRASING?) – I seriously doubt it, but I do like the Bloodeyes to at least make it 1-for-2.  Glass jaw is glass.

LSU (+6) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Realistically, this is the only match you need to concern yourself with.  Fuck Herr Fuhrer, I hope he catches even MOAR crotch rot down South.  I would have expected this line in the bayou, in Tuscaloosa it seems almost an insult.  Guess one can’t be 100% sure of Tua’s ankle, but I suspect he’s fine.

Iowa (+9) at Wisconsin (4:00, Fox)

I mean, this might be good enough to flip around to here and there.  Both teams are painful to one’s eyeballs, though.  Maybe I will moneyline bet Team Cornpone, keep it interesting.  -ish.

Missouri (+16.5) at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

WARNING – the evening window is absolute shit.  NO, I will not be previewing my side as a 32.5-point fucking home underdog.

Washington State (-8) at California (7:00, Pac-12)

I mean, Mike Leach is involved…so maybe fun?  Not really counting on it.  Both squadrons are 4-4.  BTW, ESPN2 has Happy Appy, I shit thee not.

Iowa State (+14.5) at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)

Notre Dame’s collapse opens a pathway for Team Steerfuckers North, but they best be making with the style points, and consistently so.  Cornpone State can be frisky at times, but the talent gap here is immense.

Wyoming (+15.5) at Boise State (10:15, ESPN)

Ah wish ah could quit yeeeeewwwww, Tweaker fixtures!  Actually no, I don’t wish that.  No mandatory 14-hour NFL slate tomorrow, so we can knock ourselves out.  Like the Smruf Turfers did when they played Original Recipe Team Big Love.  HEY-OH!!!!

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Gumbo and go tigers…..that is all I could make out of the coach….

Horatio Cornblower

Good god LSU. If there was ever a time to go conservative and play prevent defense it was then.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Evening thread is up

scotchnaut

LSU play-calling? [chef’s kiss]

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Insane conversation there. Reminds me a need to uh show my support for LSU more by having a hurricane

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well I can check off “announcers marvel at how far/fast a coach runs to call TO” on my shitty announcer bingo card.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
herodotus450
herodotus450

The upside to trump being at this game is that, at the end, he’ll decide with a thumb whether the loser gets executed on the spot. Go LSU!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Just kill the black guys on both teams and it will be cool.”
—-The Prez

scotchnaut

Bama cheerleaders breaking out their finest track pants today.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

How am I able to see LSU runner’s knee down when the announcers are not?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I got nothin’

Redshirt

JV Cincy LB stopped a 4th Down QB Sneak by jumping over the offensive line at the snap and, if the RB wasn’t there to hold the QB up, pulling off a Sunset Flip Powerbomb on the QB.

Brocky

….now if it was a jackknife powerbomb it’d be unnecessary roughness

Senor Weaselo

Sam Grezses (sp?) approves of this comment.

scotchnaut

Horatio should be proud that UCONN came within a mere 42 points of a W today.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So I didn’t care about who won this game, and normally I would root for the lower ranked team, but since this is being played in the Alabama place, I really hope LSU shuts the fans up and sends them for the exits early. I like home stadiums when they are quiet.

Redshirt

Maybe Tagovailoa came back early so he’d drop below the Bungals and the LOLphins.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Fins updating season slogan to Bomb for Burrow

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Vice is temporarily hosting the Not-Legally-But-For-All-Intents-and-Purposes-Jamboroo? Fucking Hell.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

LSU/Alabama-

“The World’s Largest Outdoor Gout Party.”

rockingdog
rockingdog

thats a good funny

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Gout used to be The Rich Man’s Disease. Hooray for corn subsidies making it practical to use that shit for literally everything we eat, use, or touch (and even tattoo ink).

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess CBS won’t be broadcasting the announcement of the President’s attendance at the game, in order to minimize World Series-like booing.
“They weren’t booing, they were saying “Boo-kraine”.
—Fox News

herodotus450
herodotus450

They did show it earlier, but I’m skeptical whether it was mixed with the correct audio or just generic cheering.

Senor Weaselo

It’s Alabama. They’d probably vote for him more if he shot somebody on 5th Avenue, as that damned Yankee deserved it.

Redshirt

I’m so looking forward to experts explaining why Alabama got into the Playoffs as the 4-seed with this egg-laying performance.

Senor Weaselo

Calling it as “When Tua is healthy, etc. etc. etc.”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/Notre Dame laughs

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Don’t mind Ed Orgeron, he’s just taking Nick Saban for a walk
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rockingdog
rockingdog

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Spur
Spur

Satan is not happy. Maybe Trump can give the Bama team a halftime speech?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I was really hoping this National Championship game would have been at least competitive until the 2nd half ..

rockingdog
rockingdog

LSU feeling this….
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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Dude on the left looks frighteningly similar to Low Commander of the Super Soldier’s avatar.

rockingdog
rockingdog

this RB for LSU totally reminds me of Darren Sproles

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
yeah right

DJ TAJ is venturing to the friendly environs of Inglewood to score the household the Popeyes Chicken sandwich! There may be a crossover Boots on the Ground/ Sunday Gravy hybrid post if he’s successful.

Pray for TAJ.

Senor Weaselo

Oh, there gon be stabbings.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nah. Unless he’s in a gang or a total asshole, he’ll be fine.

yeah right

Since he’s a Saints fan he goes to this location all the time for game day juju. It’s fine.

rockingdog
rockingdog

is it a catch?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Jamarcus Russel didn’t win the Heisman?

litre_cola

If you are a kick for Bama you should be the best kicker in the country no?

Wakezilla

Oh men, I woke with a smile on my face because I thought my late night picks in the lesser footy pool were perfect. Then I checked the scores.

I picked Rum Ham on the road against Burnley? Bournemouth on the road against New Castle?

What the fuck were in those shrooms I had last night?

Jesus. Forgetting the results for a second, that’s just bad!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Baylor and Penn State are trending on Twitter. Without checking or noticing what the day and date are, I’m just going to advise that you hide the women and children and nuke Waco and Happy Valley and salt the earth, just to be safe.

Redshirt

This Alabama Crimson Tide football team, I call it the USS Alabama (SSBN-731) because people are having doubts about the person leading them.

blaxabbath

Herm is such a great coach bringing NFL concepts to ASU that the Devils just ran a play out of the wildcat formation.

blaxabbath

4 first qtr touchdowns.

ASU defense sucks

blaxabbath

297 passing yards

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

I hollered at some bible thumpers who knocked on my door today, so I’m feeling pretty good about myself right now!

blaxabbath

Fake Christians

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Go away! You’re interrupting the ritual and making the goat nervous!”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Tell them you don’t speak English and slowly shut the door, staring at them intently through the ever shrinking gap.

yeah right

I just tell them “No thanks. I made up my own religion.”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I got tired of having to eat fish every Friday on my ship since the Filipino mess cooks apparently never heard of Vatican II. Me and several of my shipmates decided that we needed our own religion to demand burgers on Fridays. The upshot was our own version of the Lord’s Prayer in worship of the Holy Order of the Golden Arches (we even had ball caps embroidered, and instead of the sign of the cross we made an M over our heads, like when you dance along to YMCA by Village People.
35 years later I can still invoke it.
Hail Ronald
Full of mayo
The Big Mac is with me
Blessed are the holiest McFries
Blessed is the fruit of the Hot Apple Pies.
Mayor McCheese
Keeper of the Secret Sauce
Keep warm our dinners
Now and until the hour of the Thick Frost Shakes.
MM-MMM!

blaxabbath

USC should stop letting kickoff returns reach their half of the field.

blaxabbath

Not sure who’s making more $ on feigning military support: Trump Jr or ASU?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Someone is forgetting the NFL.