Get Well Andre Gomes – 9 November 2019 Lesser Footy Open Thread

No doubt by now, you’ve heard a bit about the above-pictured handsome devil (sorry about the lack of Bama/Bayou Bengals cheerleaders, you’ll live).  Enough to know NOT to Google the horrific injury he suffered, resulting from a snidey (but not malicious) Son Heung-min tackle.

All the human emotion and forgiveness talk was cool with me.  Lesser footy, despite its undeserved American reputation, is very much a physical, contact sport.  Guys get concussed all the time.  Grotesque leg injuries?  Less frequent, but inevitable.  There doesn’t NEED to be a villian.

But this time, there are two.  Spurs (as a club) for appealing Son’s red card.  And the corrupt-as-fuck English FA (football association) for agreeing to rescind it.  Because Spurs have earned the stature of a “big club” – one of the Sky Five/Six that play by a different set of rules.  The officiating bends over backwards to kiss their ass (not one, but TWO horrific VAR decisions went against Everton last Sunday, playing at home), and the powers-that-be reward that.  Because to them, TV is supposed to bring “stars” to the people, not good, honest, FAIR competition.  You likely noted how positive NBCSN was during Leicester’s title run (and acknowledging that sommet was happening well before Christmas) – not so in England.  There, Sky Sports treated them as an irritant, turd in the punch bowl spoiling their sweet, pre-arranged narrative.

It is threatening to ruin the game all over the continent, but especially the Premiership.  Obvious parallels to NFL officiating debacles (and “ref ball”) abound.  TV money is the golden goose all over, but they might pluck it away to the feces rotting inside – if and when the next generation of potential fans doesn’t give a fuck.

That will be a mighty big reckoning.  I probably won’t live to see it.  But just like the NFL’s malaise, it shows no signs of getting any better.

Not that you see anything in the British media – Andre Gomes barely merits a mention.  The 26-year old Barcelona prospect, who overcame career stagnation and (which he bravely was very public about) mental health struggles trying to find his professional footing.  But along came last season’s loan to Everton, who supported and loved the clever central midfielder.  He insisted over the summer that Barca make a permanent sale to Everton.  No others need apply.  He got his wish.

And now his career is very much in the balance.

Good news is that the surgery went as well as it could have, and Gomes has a fair chance to be back for the 2020-21 season’s start.  But not at 100%, of course.  That will never be seen again, at Goodison Park, or any other pitch.  Everton’s midfield was already on life support due to Jean-Phillipe Gbamin’s core muscle injury (MAYBE back in January), now it’s a shambles.  The Toffees will have to piece together what they can, and stagger to the finish line – likely in the 10-12 range.  I guess we are lucky that so much trash at the bottom meand relegation isn’t a serious concern.  But fuck me, it’s depressing.  And it’s not SPURS (or really even Son personally – a good dude by all acounts) who deserves your sympathy.

Chelsea hosts Palace in the early fixture (7:30, NBCSN) – but I wouldn’t bother too much with alarms for that.  Uncle Woy (himself the perpetrator of a much shittier leg-breaker tackle) seems to have run out of his anti-football magic.  Frank Lampard is also a douchebag, but having success.  As douchebags are wont to do.

Spurs (home to Team Knifey) and Everton (away to Saints) both play in the 10:00 window.  I can guarantee which gets broadcast TV coverage without even looking.  Cherries at Newcastly, Hammers at Burnley are also lurking about.  YMMV.

Leicester host this week’s spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), sitting in 3rd position while Arsenal “languish” in 5th.  Unai Emery is under immense pressure, for drifting about pretty much the same table position as late-stage Arsene Wenger frequented.  That fanbase is weird (sorry, Horatio).  Should be a cracker of a match.

United host Brighton and Wolves welcome surprising Villa on Sunday morning (9:00, NBCSN and Gold – maybe CNBC too), but that’s all prelade to 1st place assholes Liverpool and the visiting defending champs (11:30, NBCSN).  Much like this same fixture last season, City need a real response (and all three points) to de-rail a possible runaway, smug train.  PRETTY PLEASE, Pep.  Do a good.

Perhaps the other lads will be by to discuss other matters.  Hippo tired.

Paedo State (-6.5) at Minnesota (Noon, ABC)

Wow, this is pretty good #HailGamblorRespek towards Mister Row the Boat in a Weird Shirt guy.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if 8-0 Gophers turn into 9-3 real quick-like.

Baylor (-2.5) at TCU (Noon, FS1)

Hey, is this the window where all the bad touchers go down (PHRASING?) – I seriously doubt it, but I do like the Bloodeyes to at least make it 1-for-2.  Glass jaw is glass.

LSU (+6) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Realistically, this is the only match you need to concern yourself with.  Fuck Herr Fuhrer, I hope he catches even MOAR crotch rot down South.  I would have expected this line in the bayou, in Tuscaloosa it seems almost an insult.  Guess one can’t be 100% sure of Tua’s ankle, but I suspect he’s fine.

Iowa (+9) at Wisconsin (4:00, Fox)

I mean, this might be good enough to flip around to here and there.  Both teams are painful to one’s eyeballs, though.  Maybe I will moneyline bet Team Cornpone, keep it interesting.  -ish.

Missouri (+16.5) at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)

WARNING – the evening window is absolute shit.  NO, I will not be previewing my side as a 32.5-point fucking home underdog.

Washington State (-8) at California (7:00, Pac-12)

I mean, Mike Leach is involved…so maybe fun?  Not really counting on it.  Both squadrons are 4-4.  BTW, ESPN2 has Happy Appy, I shit thee not.

Iowa State (+14.5) at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)

Notre Dame’s collapse opens a pathway for Team Steerfuckers North, but they best be making with the style points, and consistently so.  Cornpone State can be frisky at times, but the talent gap here is immense.

Wyoming (+15.5) at Boise State (10:15, ESPN)

Ah wish ah could quit yeeeeewwwww, Tweaker fixtures!  Actually no, I don’t wish that.  No mandatory 14-hour NFL slate tomorrow, so we can knock ourselves out.  Like the Smruf Turfers did when they played Original Recipe Team Big Love.  HEY-OH!!!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450

I tried adding some whiskey to my braise, as suggested here, but it just kept going in my mouth instead. WEIRD.

scotchnaut

Mouth Whiskey is the best whiskey.

/what you braising?

herodotus450

Just some beef chuck, with some crazy korean spices. I’m already looking forward to it being even better tomorry.

Horatio Cornblower

Ah, the vaunted Arsenal defense. Haven’t seen something penetrated that easily since Traci Lords turned 18.

scotchnaut

My satellite feed has conked out.* Damn you, Arthur C. Clarke and a boatload of other people responsible for this technology!

*I believe that’s the proper terminology

Brick Meathook

Howard Hughes, man. Howard Hughes.

scotchnaut

His bottled urine-based technology was a ground breaker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just discovered that HD S;portsmix on DirecTV is kinda like a College football Redzone light on Saturdays.

Yay foar no moar flipping.

Viva La Tabula Raza

What channel is that?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Deion Sanders rumoured as a candidate for HC job at Florida State.
How much do I hope this happens? A lot.

scotchnaut

It can’t happen. We’ve touched ourselves far too often for this to happen.

Redshirt

That explains how Trump took over my political party.

scotchnaut

Eric Dickerson is at the SMOO game and Craig James has a conflicting appointment involving a shovel and an isolated part of a forest.

herodotus450

Jerry Jones is gonna be lonely tonight.

scotchnaut

“I could lend you my JerkMaster3000 prototype if you’re that hard up.”

-R. Kraft, Foxboro, MA.

herodotus450
Redshirt

Fox Announcers put some context into the Buckeyes going Full Shredder against the Gridiron Turtles. Last year’s game, Maryland almost upset Ohio State and they apparently started talking trash to the Buckeyes.

This is just Ohio State hitting them over the head with reality.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not a big tOSU fan, but UMd deserves no mercy.
Squash those assholes.

herodotus450

I expect Minnesota to rise as high as #15 if they go on to beat Penn St here today.

scotchnaut

If Minnesota wins I expect that a butter statue of Antoine Winfield Jr. will be erected outside their stadium.

scotchnaut

TYLERJOHNSONDOWN!!!*

*no idea who this kid is but he deserves to be mentioned on an obscure sports site by a broken-down, day-drinking goober

scotchnaut

ANTOINEWINFIELDCEPTION!!! X2

Redshirt

Poison Nuts 28 – Fighting McConnells 0

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, my niece’s school has had 3 threats of mass violence in past two weeks. At least one of which was credible (kid had access to weapons and ammunition in the home….he’s now sitting in juvenile detention). But two more after that one, after that kid was in custody. No suspects yet on the two new ones, dated for one day next week.

Do I keep her home that day?

Da Fuq is wrong with people?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m fine with that, as long as she grows up.
/shops foar kevlar backpacks

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, just buy her a gun and then start screaming about the 2nd Amendment when she gets arrested in math class

scotchnaut

Back in my day, ‘mass violence’ involved the threat of benches collapsing in the cafeteria when all the fat kids sat together.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I remember when my biggest fear going to school was I didn’t finish my homework over the weekend and the pretty girl sitting in front of me thought I was an idiot.

Redshirt

Part of me wants to blame bullying. Kids are bullied and teachers don’t do anything about it. Kids grow up angry and wants to hurt people back.

However me and my sister were bullied in middle and high school to the point where it still affects us as adults today, and we didn’t threaten to shoot up our schools.

Brick Meathook

My threats of violence were always in-credible, man, just in-fucking-credible. I’d a done it too if I knew how to buy napalm.

Redshirt

My Ultimate Revenge Plan failed because I couldn’t pronounce the words in the Necronomicon.

tomsellecksmoustache

Ah, PJ Fleck. The JV Pete Carroll.

scotchnaut

I’m getting a kick out of Franklin on the other side stamping his feet at the refs and yelling, “But they’re Minnesota! They don’t get those calls!”.

scotchnaut

SMOO’s unis look too much like the Bills kits. That ain’t good.

TheRevanchist

Don’t forget Utah State at Fresno State. There are many reasons to hate Utah. 1. They are in Utah. That’s good enough for me. Fresno State -5

herodotus450
Redshirt

Ohio State went Surprise Onside?! Why?!

tomsellecksmoustache

It’s nice to execute things in a real game when you have nothing to lose. Plus people love seeing the #1 team pulldown an opponent’s pants and jerk of their little baby dicks in front of everyone.

scotchnaut

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a Buckeyes’ cleat stamping on a Terrapin face-forever.”

-Eric Arthur Blair, sportswriter

scotchnaut

Apparently Pedo St.’s secondary has never seen a crossing route before.

/GoFers up 14-7

herodotus450

[Insert Hamburglar gif here for OSU-MD]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gary Patterson is having a hard time keeping his drawers up. Don’t they have belts in Fort Worth?

Redshirt

I hate it when teams schedule a cupcake game in November. Ohio State is better than this!

scotchnaut

Holy Crap! If Pedo’s secondary is really this bad, Minny shouldn’t have many problems.

Redshirt

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/ohio-states-chase-young-may-miss-rest-of-regular-season-but-could-appeal-to-return-sooner-per-a-report/

If he got the money to get a car or for a hot date, then he needs to be suspended. But if he got the money so he could have a place to sleep and food to eat, than the NCAA is worse than Goodell.

rockingdog

yea NCAA is a joke.

herodotus450

I saw he got it to fly his family out to the rose bowl last year, and paid the money back already. But also the guy who loaned it to him is an nfl agent, so…

Redshirt

In that case, he’s lucky to only be looking at four games (Why can’t the school fly in the family?! Ohio State qualifies as one of the biggest cities in the state!!). That should’ve made him permanently ineligible. And I’m an Ohio State fan saying that.

He probably saw the Bengals or Dolphins were going to be the top picks and decided to hedge his bets by leaking his mistake so he can drop in the draft.

herodotus450

But also, he knew the guy personally, before he started at osu.
But also, he only met the guy like 2 months before he started at osu.
I think most baffling is why is it coming out now, and why at all? Maybe Young decided not to pick that guy as his agent, so the agent threatened to tell on him, so Young got out in front of it?

Redshirt

Makes sense.

rockingdog

Raiders fans be raiders fans…comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pfft. A real Raiders fan wouldn’t have made bail.

TheRevanchist

Half the crowd probably skipped bail. Quickest fight I ever seen was at a Raiders game when one dude pulled the one punch knockout. Both dudes had gang tattoos. Probably related.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“If I was still coaching we’d have been all over that kid”
– J. Sandusky

scotchnaut

BATEMANDOWN!!!!!!!

scotchnaut

Antoinewinfieldception!

scotchnaut

I’ve not been to Minny but I’ve been within 50 minutes of the border, so there’s that.

litre_cola

Rev takes a 3 pt lead in the tipping comp.

Mr. Ayo

I’m picking against the Spurs for the rest of the season out of principle.

What a shitshow of a team.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’d trade it all for Spurs competence…

tomsellecksmoustache

Its 12:04, do social norms allow me to have my first beer of the day sitting alone in my house?

ArmedandHammered

If he has a heroine, is he really alone?

ArmedandHammered

Why did you wait that long. Cereal is made from grain, beer is made from grain, hence beer = cereal.

litre_cola

This checks out.

ArmedandHammered

An oatmeal stout, is just oatmeal in a glass.

tomsellecksmoustache

Damn, never looked at it that way but it makes total sense.

scotchnaut

Why do you care what guys called Norm say? You do you.

ArmedandHammered

And you are asking this group about social norms?

Mr. Ayo

You’re 3 hours late rookie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pictured: Art Schlichter on work release.
comment image

Redshirt

How do you get that GIF of me in gym class?

scotchnaut

Looks like Minny is entering the guts of their sked now. I’d love to see an upset today.

/has a weakness for non-traditional teams doing well.

herodotus450

1 tablespoon of wine for this recipe? Better drink the rest of the bottle so it doesn’t go to waste.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

scotchnaut

I’m not gonna tell ya how to cook but I’ve found that a splash of bourbon livens up pretty much any dish.

rockingdog

comment image

scotchnaut

Had to explain to a new business owner, “Uh, yeah, sales do slow considerably in the month of November”. Wow.

herodotus450

Dude clearly isn’t cut out for the Jack–0-Lantern business.

scotchnaut

He’s thinking of expanding into the jean shorts business. I told him that wasn’t viable either.

herodotus450

He should sell the kind that zip together, to make pants, then he could double his sales in the wintery months.

litre_cola

GOOOOOOLLLLLLLL

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Hippo: KState +7, ML +225 in Austin.
Even ranked, I don’t trust ’em. What say you?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ya think UGa letdown after UF, Mizzou could maybe cover (+17.5) in Athens?

Redshirt

I didn’t find the video of the Andre Gomes injury but I saw the picture just as the ankle was hit. I don’t watch soccer much but unless they changed the rules from the time I played in 1st Grade and you’re supposed to move the soccer ball around by hitting it with your shoulder while its on the ground, there is no way that’s not an illegal hit. Since the Red Card was rescinded, unfortunately this means the next time these two clubs plays, Son Heung-min is a dead man.

The sad thing was, if it wasn’t a malicious hit, a red card would’ve been enough. Son seems remorseful, and now because the league didn’t want to do its job, now two careers are going to be on the line. This is exactly how the Bengals-Steelers games slowly transitioned from an NFL Division Game to an NFL Thunderdome Deathmatch. A bad hit or two wasn’t penalized the league, so the other felt like they had to respond in kind.

In both cases, all the league had to do was say “You may not have intended to do it, but you did it, so here’s a slap on the wrist. Don’t do it again.” and its over.

litre_cola

Green Monkey CBD drink being advertised around the Birmingham pitch, time have changed.

litre_cola

Cherry goal! Barcodes going down.

litre_cola

Ponytail goal for teh Toffee Hippos!

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State ML vs Clemson: +5500 (lol).
But that actually might be worth laying out a few bucks. That way I can buy a snowmobile when hell freezes over.

One must plan ahead.

litre_cola

Good to see Balotelli still playing and for his home town. They must have gotten rid of xenophobes up there . No racism in Northern Italy, no siree.

Brick Meathook

I hate racism of any kind, especially when it’s committed by a bunch of greaseball wops.

rockingdog

comment image

rockingdog

the dude Pulisic putting this game ON ICE!!!!!
NICE!

scotchnaut

Palace doesn’t seem to be aware that there is a ball in this game. They’re just running around chasing the other guys.

/2nd goal just now

litre_cola

I remember the days Wyoming made us a lot of money Hippo. Those days are gone.

herodotus450

Geez how old are you guys? The copper mines of Wyoming dried up years ago.

litre_cola

If you ask Zymm Wyoming doesn’t even exist.

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