When You Are More Interested In Who Is Going To Lose Thursday Night Open Thread

Wow, do we have the match up that you don’t want to see.  I mean, sure, maybe OBJ will make some glorious catch.  But, really, no one likes either team.  Just look at this schmuck.

"Public Intoxication" arrest which means he was being a dick

That’s a Jim Spanfeller-level punchable face.

Let’s talk about the Steelers first, though.  I’m still not sure how they corralled in the egos of Antonio Brown and that dude who now plays RB for the Jets.  Whatever his name is.  He doesn’t matter anymore, now that we know that O-line was the real reason that running backs do well in the Steelers system.  Good luck, Jets.

Tomlinson, who comes across like a real jackass in every interview he has ever done, going back to when he was 3 and someone asked him to sing the ABC’s, has done a fantastic job keeping this team on track.  I would like to think that he would be nice to someone in his life.  His wife?  Mom?  The sheep he drags to the bedroom and calls “Baker”?  I don’t know who, but there has to be someone.

At QB, they have some putz who is just a putz.  Middleman Putz might be his name.  That’s how much I care.  He’s serviceable, like a great many QBs you see in this league.  That’s good enough.

The defense on this team is still tough.  Not Patriots tough.  Not Niners tough.  Not Bills tough.  But, definitely not a cake walk.  That’s why they should win this game, and, also, because I like to hate on The Browns.

Now, let’s get to the part that is hard to talk about:  Flaker Mayfield and the Brown turds.

They finally won last week!  Yeah!  3 wins, baby.  They are definitely going all the way.  All the way to another top 10 draft pick, where they will probably draft a QB for when Mayfield becomes a backup on another team and fades into Oblivion.  (Side note:  I’m picking up Oblivion for the XB1 once I’m done playing Skyrim… again.)

But, last week was a fluke when you look at their season as a whole.  OBJ had catches.  Mayfield didn’t get intercepted (I would fact check that, but I don’t really want to).  They stopped the run.  Sort of, anyway, as the Bills should have ran it more, aside from Josh Allen.

This week, the Browns are going to have a hard time stopping the run.  The Steelers aren’t scoring a ton of rushing TDs, but they know how to utilize the run game effectively.  Kitchens doesn’t really garner a lot of surety as a head coach.  He is going to have to play his linebackers in a manner that negates the run.

Since this is a rivalry game, expect a fun game to watch.  Really, either team that loses is a win for us all.

“Fair weather fans are HILARIOUS to me…” – Emily Mayfield, wife of Baker, which means she made that choice voluntarily (that we know of), which should tell you everything you need to know about her

Still curious as to why the Browns are favored.  They are the Browns, after all.  Historical levels of losing that make Detroit fans jealous.

Talk about whatever below.

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TheRevanchist
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Horatio Cornblower

The Browns should send everyone to the end zone and go for it.

Redshirt

Well that’s was a nice Season Finale for Miles Garrett.

Recovery Whiskey

Whats hilarious here is the games over. Yet nobody has left

Redshirt

I just looked down at my phone for a second. What happened?!

WCS

Something we’ll be talking about for a very long time.

Recovery Whiskey

A nice throwback to the 1980s

Senor Weaselo

Shit, what’d I miss?

Horatio Cornblower

Not as much of the season as Garrett is about to.

Recovery Whiskey

A pretty nice street brawl

Recovery Whiskey

That was a microcosm of both cities histories

Brocky

Cannot use the helmet as a weapon

AkA the “lyle alzado rule”

SonOfSpam

I thought that rule was “don’t take so many steroids as to get terminal cancer” but it was a while ago so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brocky

No, that’s a separate rule, its more along the line of:

don’t go on national TV and admit to doing steroids or else the NFL will downplay your legacy

The league knew he was juicing, they just didn’t care.

Also, obligatory: “there is no known link between steroid use and brain cancer” I appreciate the purpose of the guy’s message, just can’t help but feel it bordered on pseudoscience

SonOfSpam

Yes, that’s all sadly accurate. Alzado was a figurative and almost literal beast who done got used for the NFL’s insidious purpose.

BC Dick

You gotta Turley that helmet. It’s the smart play.

Horatio Cornblower

At a minimum Garret is done.

Recovery Whiskey

BUH GAWD IS THAT RICHIE INCOGNITO’s MUSIC?

WCS

Pretty sure Myles Garrett just played his last snap for a while.

Mr. Ayo

That’s going to be super expensive.

SonOfSpam

“…You can’t do that”

– some ref like 25 years ago

Mr. Ayo

That dude is FUCKED

Game Time Decision

Hahah. Football fight
Swinging the helmet. 10 yards. Defense

Viva La Tabula Raza

Passed out/fell asleep there for a couple of time units. Cleveland is going to win? THAT IS COOL! Also, met an attractive, age-appropriate lady at the bar this evening whose presence might make me overcome the “have to take a viagra just to wank it” thing.

SonOfSpam

(take two just to be sure and congrats)

Game Time Decision

Congrats. Hope,it works out

Horatio Cornblower

If it last more than 4 hours make sure to live-blog it.

SonOfSpam

I got a cam set up in his bedroom so we’ll see

Horatio Cornblower

Well, Mike Pouncey just got the rest of the year off.

SonOfSpam

ACTUALLY, nawt his fawlt (for once)

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I just saw the tail end of it. If he hadn’t kicked Garrett in the head I’d say let it go, justifiable attempted homicide.

SonOfSpam

“Yeah, that’s a thing”

– all cops

Horatio Cornblower

And so did Myles Garret.

Jesus what a fucktard.

Recovery Whiskey

Some fine sportsmanship there

Mr. Ayo

BRAWL!!!

SonOfSpam

The Browns have inflicted more sacks than the Japanese in Nanking.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, with that beard Rothlisberger is just daring Scotchy to try something.

SonOfSpam

Random YouTube is fun when drinking, and apparently I’ve listened to “Birdhouse in Your Soul” a lot.

Recovery Whiskey

John and John approved

Horatio Cornblower

“Lamar Jackson is the spitting image of me” Mike Vick

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!” Lamar Jackson

SonOfSpam

suspicious side-eye

– L. Jackson’s beagle

jjfozz

Good night my lovely droogs. See you tomorrow night.

Recovery Whiskey

Enjoy the sofa

SonOfSpam

Peace and love and sharting

Redshirt

So the Steelers are getting Kaep, right?

Horatio Cornblower

Probably as a distraction, redirect the fans’ hate.

Recovery Whiskey

The typical Stiller fan’s head would explode

WCS

Hopefully; though with what’s left of this receiver that’s left, Brady couldn’t make dick out of this.

jjfozz

A lot of fat, drunk, hairy ugly chicks are gonna get lucky tonight in Cleveland. And I’m not talking about their cheerleaders.

SonOfSpam

Sounds like my wedding night*

*I was the bride
*”Deflowering” can mean lots of things

WCS

So, this is how the rest of the season is going to be, eh?
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Let’s drink.

Sharkbait

Mike Tomlin needs to be…Corrected.
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Brick Meathook

Food update: Cold rice and a little rat meat. That’s my idea of great R&R.

Mr. Ayo

Straight from the Tomsula Railyard Cookbook?

Recovery Whiskey

Lol

Recovery Whiskey

Pair that with some bum wine and you got yourself a party — Jim Tomsula

Recovery Whiskey

Santa Clara Niners are definitely sea level and goin under if the seas rise. they’re built on tidal sand fill now as it is.

SonOfSpam

LOL Mason Rudolph has two tackles.

Mr. Ayo

On the bright side, Mason is a great tackler.

SonOfSpam

what you look for in a qb smh godbless

Recovery Whiskey

ANOTHER PICK

Recovery Whiskey

Cleveland is right on Lake Erie

jjfozz

Baltimore woudl be inundated by the backwash of the Chesapeake Bay, so yeah, complete armagedeon.

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait needs a McDonald touchdown. I somehow think she will not get it.

Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

/cums

jjfozz

/cumsharder

jjfozz

Not a homer call: but it seems to me that it flat out kills some commentators that Baltimore might have a shot at the conference this year. I’m not saying it’s a gimme, but good Christ the mental gymnastics are on the Gymkata level.

Redshirt

If they can keep Jackson healthy and give him time, you guys have a good chance.

SonOfSpam

IF AND ONLY IF they can hold off the Bengals

jjfozz

Coming into the Bengals game I was thinking “yeah a good time for us to completely shit the bed”.

Redshirt

Never underestimate the Bengals’ ability to suck.

Recovery Whiskey

Food update: mini weiners in blankets and arbys curly fries baked to a golden perfection in a convection oven and backed up with a nice big Jamesons with a seltzer chaser. Living the dream boys.

jjfozz

I’ll be over in 10, got three warm Busch Lites and half a bottle of Night Train.

SonOfSpam

Give me your address and maybe SSN and naked pics of your mom”

*j/k already got those

Senor Weaselo

Update on update: Cheese fries weren’t cheesy enough since I used the little bit of cheese we had left, I’ll try it again maybe Sunday, with cheese, and then I can add a pepper.

Recovery Whiskey

Suck it Yinzers

Recovery Whiskey

Holy crap what a garbage play that worked

Game Time Decision

How. Nice catch

jjfozz

“The great thing for Cleveland is they have not turned the ball over.”

That’s like saying, “Well John Holmes didn’t get herpes, he just got AIDS.”

Recovery Whiskey

Cleveland doesnt play teh ground game

Recovery Whiskey

That was a Lovie Smith commemorative LB pick

jjfozz

God what a fucking pool of shit

Mr. Ayo

Wait, are you talking about this game, Cleveland, or Pittsburgh?

jjfozz

Yes

Mr. Ayo

This game needs more Duck

Recovery Whiskey

Pickerception

Mr. Ayo

That was Truth Biscuit-esque throw to the left.

Recovery Whiskey

Baker Mayfield a winning team but its not likely

jjfozz

“Turn the corner”, Troy? Yeah, right into a bubbling pool of nuclear waste.

jjfozz

Christ Amazon, you have to ruin a great soul song? go eat a bag of hot shit, Bezos.

Recovery Whiskey

Amazon paying money just to try and be loved

Sharkbait

Taking a page from Facebook I see.