Your “Hey Julie, Whatta Ya Think of the Falcons New RB?” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

It’s not a good joke but it’s better than my “The Hills Have Eyes” riff that I couldn’t quite put together.

TO THE GAMES!

Cowboys/Lions:

There’s not much to choose from when it comes to the Detroit backfield but I should note that McKissic is good at catching the rock and Dallas gives up the 10th-most fantasy points there. Last week’s leading rusher Jeff Driskel gets the call again-he didn’t do too badly vs. the Bears last week despite being thrown into the fray with little prep time.

Jags/Colts:

What do Julio Jones and Lenny Fournette have in common? That’d be tons of production and very few TD’s to show for it. It borders on the impossible for an rb that gets 89% of his team’s carries and only has one stinking TD. Maybe little Nicky Foles will breathe some life into the Jags deep-passing game.

Bills/Fins:

I was so excited to start Singletary last week after seeing him go off vs. the Potato Skins. But it was Josh Allen that got the big rush yards and the two scores. Not sure what to make of Buffalo’s O right now. We know McDermott wants to run (because the pass game is a laugh a minute) and is transitioning away from Gore but his qb is a real wild card at the moment. Miami has two straight in the W slot and has covered the spread in 5 straight.

Broncos/Vikes:

Maybe keep it close and pray, Denver? Qb Allen fared okay last time out but Minny is a different kettle of lutefisk than Cleveland. There’s a bit of good news in that Linval Joseph is out but Griffin and Hunter are still there so the run game would be a no-go. Maybe Sutton can make a difference?

Saints/Bucs:

This is pegged at a fairly high over/under of 51.5 but Brees has struggled in Tampa-over the last 5 he’s 3-2 and hasn’t thrown for over 300 games. And he’s been struggling with a very poor average depth of target of just 6.5 yards which is 2nd-last in the NFL. There’s good news for Mike Evans in that cb Lattimore is gone with a hammy.

Jets/Potato Skins:

Qb Haskins is in a great spot to improve on his miserable 42.2 QBR. He’s had a bye week to prepare and the Jets D is a very forgiving bunch. It’s sorta now or never as far as him piling up the stats. Do you pick up Darnold and stream him against these guys, the Raiders, the Bengals and the Fins? Serious inquiries only, please.

Falcons/Panthers:

I read a small piece telling me to fade Matt Ryan because he was missing two of his ‘weapons’ in te Hooper (okay, he was playing well) and Devonta Freeman. Wait, you mean the guy that has been stumbling along at 3.5 yards per carry and has a mere three TD’s? Him? Go away. (Besides, Carolina’s secondary is all beaten up)

Texans/Ravens:

You know who’s having an under-the-radar good year? Carlos Hyde, that’s who. Sure he doesn’t score many TD’s or have electrifying runs but he’s chugging along at a pace that will give him a 1200+ yard season. What more do you want from your (relatively cheap) rb?

Let us do some commenting forthwith and such.

Please Login to comment
179 Comment threads
192 Thread replies
1 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
33 Comment authors
Charge of the Light BrigadeRedshirtGatoraidsSenor WeaseloKing Hippo Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Charge of the Light Brigade
Charge of the Light Brigade

I did not know the Bills offense could count above 17. The brain worms must’ve had the day off.

Redshirt

(Ferris Bueller voice)
Here’s where Hippo goes beserk.

Senor Weaselo

“We’re stuck in [Redacteds] eternity.” Jets radio commentator wants to get out of there.

Redshirt

How do you not go out of bounds?!

King Hippo

WANTS HIPPO DED

Redshirt

Why is a Denver Bronco not named Terrell Davis wearing No. 30? Especially a RB. If it wasn’t for Davis, Elway doesn’t get his two rings.

King Hippo

He asked permission, seriously. TD was honoured.

Redshirt

Okay, I’ll allow it. I know I have no say in the matter, but I’ll allow it.

LemonJello
LemonJello

THIS GUY KING HIPPO, I CALL SAM KINISON, BECAUSE HE’S YELLING ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HE’S SO ANGRY

hippofant
hippofant

Angry incoherent yelling about stuff nobody else understands is what makes him a great national leader.

hippofant
hippofant

ALSO CAPS LOTS OF CAPS SO PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE SERIOUS ABOUT IT REAL SERIOUS CAPS!!!!1

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Losing your kidney to your bookie you hate to see it folks

King Hippo

AGGGGGHHHHHHH AGGGGGGHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Hippo hasn’t beaten the spread since Basic Instinct

King Hippo

THESE FUCKADOOS WON’T QUIT FUCK YOU REFS

King Hippo

MINNY LINES UP OFFSIDE, NO CALL

LemonJello
LemonJello

Maybe the [*Redacteds] coaching staff should tell the players they’re down by 20+ at the start of every game?

hippofant
hippofant

I think maybe it’s more they need to tell their opponents they’re up by 20 points.

King Hippo

RAGE RAGE FUCK YOU

King Hippo

you watch, they won’t reverse b/c was holding

Redshirt

If its Horsies vs. Hornies, there was PI but it was against the other receiver.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus what a breathtakingly stupid penalty by Dallas

King Hippo

REFS ARE ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY GIVING THIS MATCH TO MINNY

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Pick 2!

King Hippo

YAAAAAASSSSSSSS MOTHERFUCKERS

Horatio Cornblower

I remember dropping Gallup earlier this year due to his leg owie.

Solid decision on my part, that.

King Hippo

He and Chark are on mah bench

/PeyPey sings, obvs

King Hippo

ALL TEH SWEAR WORDS

King Hippo

goddamn Garret Bolles AGAIN

Col. Duke LaCross

I was at that game against Chicago. I’ve never seen an entire stadium both feeling sorry for one guy and wanting him dead at the same time like that.

Go Utes!

King Hippo

y’all keep feeding Sutton

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Hippo reacts reasonably

King Hippo

I am PLAID and then some

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Watching this Bills-Dolphins game, Archuleta is like a brain damaged Collinsworth.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Anyone exposed the the Dolphins is liable for some kind of stroke

Horatio Cornblower

Zeke Elliott, WR.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Jeff Bezos tosses a dime in front of Dan Snyder

Horatio Cornblower

Apropos of nothing, I found a picture of OSZ’s family tree going back to 1370:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EJmX2j9WsAAtmEh?format=jpg&name=small

(also Lindsay Fitzharris is a good Twitter follow and wrote a book called ‘The Butchering Art’ about 19th century surgery and hospital hygiene that will turn your stomach, but is still a good read)

Senor Weaselo

Will the Dacteds score a touchdown the rest of the season? MAYBE.

Senor Weaselo

They did because the Jets radio announcers wouldn’t fucking stop talking about it!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oooffff …the CBS feed switched over to the more competitive Broncos Vikings game ..

Dunstan
Dunstan

Are the Donks gonna Donk away this game? Elway says neigh!

Horatio Cornblower

Dak, just because they call a deep route doesn’t mean you have to throw it deep into double-coverage.

hippofant
hippofant

Man, Angelo Blackson looks tired.