Your “That There’s Slim Pickings” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Thank goodness they staggered the two games on offer, huh? And the featured game is between two teams that the majority of football fans would like to have fired into the sun. But let’s think about that for a second. Why would we do that to the good old sun? It was your fault you got burned that day-you forgot to re-apply the sunscreen. And the sun is a job creator. It was the one that originally determined when the tides came in. It gave that task to the moon as soon as it graduated from college. Now look at how the moon is thriving! The sun is a good friend.

TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Titans:

Poor Jacksonville is gonna get bulldozed as though it were a shantytown somewhere in Africa. The head bulldozer goes by the name of Derrick Henry and he has some experience. The Jags give up the most yards per rush in the league and allowed two rb’s (Williams and Mack) to gain 100+ against them last time out. This one is gonna hurt.

Cowboys/Pats:

One has to wonder how New England is going to score, what with both Sanu and Dorsett both out and the running game being the shambles that it is. Even if wonky-kneed Cooper is ineffective Dallas still has Gallup and Zeke and DAK! out there making plays. I just get the feeling that the Pats are going to be exposed today as GrumbleLord begs everyone to not look behind the curtain.

There ya go. Make some words.

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Spur

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LemonJello

Needs a photo to prove aftermarket upgrades to his insurance company?

Gratliff

It looks like Bennet went from tiny shoulders to big fucking holes for the arms. Why does he hate normal human clothing?

Spur

DFO does have an anti pants fraction

Brick Meathook

The Grey Cup is pretty good so far!

Mr. Ayo

Lots of turnoUvers for the 3 cats.

Spur

Is that what they call Roethlisberger’s cup? the one no one is allowed to clean?

litre_cola

Damn straight!!!

Game Time Decision

It’s usually a good game

Spur

Double J, PAY THESE REFS NOW!

Gratliff

Holy shit, Troy. You about had to Zapruder that screencap to make your argument.

WCS

And here comes the bailout flag!

Spur

A TD here might seal it

theeWeeBabySeamus

There should be a law against family showing up to eat when sprots iz on.

herodotus450

Have you heard of “The Castle Doctrine?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes. And also have heard of “Justifiable Homicide”.

WCS

Dreamboat didn’t get a call, fire the refs!

King Hippo

Even after he strenuously objected no less.

Gatoraids

EARL HEBNER MUST BE LEAD REF TONIGHT NO ONE DENIES THIS

WCS

GREATEST COMMENT EVAH NO ONE DENIES THIS

Gatoraids

need a Bill Simmons face photoshopped on Tommy from Quiznee gif

King Hippo

Jagura coach clearly has Horny Fourny in fantasy

Spur

Dallas D is holding on. Offense needs to step up

Gratliff

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Redshirt

Check out this abomination that was approved on several levels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HiPsF06n4c

Brick Meathook

I actually really like Canadian football rules. I rarely get to see it. Yesterday was the college championship and it was a fun game to watch.

litre_cola

To the tune of Yellow submarine,

“No one wants to live in Hamilton, live in Hamilton.
No one wants to live in Hamilton, live in Hamilton

Building one’s a factoryyyyy
And building 2’s a factoryyyyy
Building 3’s a factoryyyyy
And building 4’s a factoryyyyy

No one wants to live in Hamilton, live in Hamilton.

Redshirt

The NFL Thanksgiving MVP Champion will have lost it in a squash match to Brock Lesnar or Charlotte Flair before the Sunday 1PM games kick off.

litre_cola

Bombers havent won since 1990. Please let my shithole hometown beat the other shithole today.

King Hippo
Brick Meathook

I’m in a brew-pub with 20 channels tuned into the Grey Cup, as one would expect. I don’t know if I can even ask if maybe one TV could be changed to watch the Cowboys-Patriots.

King Hippo

Missing nothing but punts.

Brick Meathook

Yes, but those are American punts.

hippofant

Can’t even earn a rouge for a really good one smh

hippofant

Imagine, how many points would Shane Lechler have scored with rouges?

hippofant

That’s fine. Punting is why you watch the CFL.

hippofant

GET THE FILTHY AMERICAN SCUM!

Mistborn Impossible

Once they know he’s american they’ll definitely change one TV for him, because they’ll assume he has a gun

Brick Meathook

I’m going to slap down a U.S. $100 bill and tell them if they want it they not only have to change just one small TV to the NFL but also have to listen my detailed description of Ulysses S. Grant’s Overland Campaign.

King Hippo

It’s gonna end 10-6

Spur

on a BS call stopping the last Dallas drive

King Hippo

21-yard procedure penno on the punt ain’t help none

Gratliff

You may be good enough to beat the Pats, but you won’t be good enough to beat the Pats + refs!

Brick Meathook

“All CFL fans, please rise if you can for the singing of the Canadian national anthem.”

herodotus450

They got enough free viagra up there, it shouldn’t be a problem.

King Hippo

#UnpatrioticCripplesSMH

WCS

We disrespect the flag POLITELY, eh.

Spur

Shazier files for asylum

Gratliff

It’s a better song and they STILL aren’t shitty about it

Spur

lucky duck Dak on that pas

WCS

Michigan-Ohio State at noon is a crime against humanity.

King Hippo

Great suicide bombing crisitunity, though

Spur

I’ll root for Michigan but its hopeless.

Redshirt

Have to disagree for several reasons.

1. Its tradition.
2. It gives extra time to drink in celebration or drown our sorrows.
3. With Tailgating occurring in the morning, it allows for morning drinking without it being a sign of alcoholism.

Spur

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herodotus450

I know we hate the Pats and all but… what is a defenseless receiver?

Spur

that was clean unlike every Steelers player

Spur

BANG. Kill Shot….on shooter

King Hippo

WOW, no BLEERGH on that clean hit. Unexpected.

Spur

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Gratliff

Ah, here’s the problem. Some dipshit in college made Carson learn the bible and it’s affecting his football brain
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King Hippo

Quite typical Evangelical shitting on the belief structure of NORMAL FUCKING CHRISTIANS.

Gratliff

Apparently, they were leaving these in the seats the Eagles game wtfffffffffffff

Gratliff

Lincoln Financial Field seats: The new top drawer of a motel nightstand

King Hippo

FUCKING GROSS

King Hippo

This Non-Gendered defensive performance is impressive. Not enough, but still.

Spur

Dak needs to run it. Stop being stupid.

hippofant

Sometimes when you watch an animal move across the savanna, you can’t help be amazed at their grace and elegance and the cleverness of nature’s design. It can be awing, in a quiet subtle way.

Watching Nick Foles run for that first down was the opposite of that.

Spur

Too many products in that ad. What do you want me to do. buy a phone? rescue a dog. watch a movie? WHAT?

King Hippo

Those of us who started 3 Jaguras <3 this garbage time.

King Hippo

FUCK YOUR SUN-TZU NARRATIVE YOU COCKMONGER

Gratliff

Grumblelord is discussing Sun Tzu on red zone and I want to vomit

King Hippo

(see below)

herodotus450

“I tried bringing it up with Bill (Parcells) once but he cut me off and muttered something about Unit 731.”

Spur

That punt sucked

Gratliff

Yup. That’s what Edelman does. It’s the fucking worst.

WCS

NO ONE DENIES THIS

WCS

3rd and long.

Bailout flag in 3…2…1….

Mistborn Impossible

Every damn time the Cowboys throw incomplete, I think yes! and then quickly oh, wait, no, that’s actually bad

King Hippo

No sir, I don’t like what this fixture does to my fee-fees.

King Hippo

FAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK, I needed that Foles to Horny Fourny score.

Spur

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Spur

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Spur

Buck looks old. its the creepy flesh colored beard

Spur

Game on

Spur
Spur
Petronel

Oh Gronk, you beautiful man you

Spur

you can barely notice the CTE

Gratliff

So uh Nick Foles maybe not the answer

WCS

There’s always the porn career to fall back on.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Right. What was the question?

Redshirt

That’s your answer to everything!