Thursday Night Laughing At The Jets Open Thread

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears, for I have come to bury the Jets, not to praise them one damn bit.  That’s exactly what you should be hearing in your head at this moment.  Not one person believes this Jets team is good enough to win.  The last game they played was against the Dolphins.  Neither team wanted to win, except for the kickers, because kickers are like the white crayon in a box of crayons:  No one cares about it.

This should be a blowout.  Hold on one second.  Let me check the spread.

*googles*

Only 14.5?  That seems ridiculous.  Makes me think RG3 is going to be getting some playing time this week.  The problem is that Lamar, Mr. Jackson if you are nasty, is only slightly injured.  He’s still practicing this week.

But, I’m not just going to make wild assumptions.  The Ravens are 1^st in offense in the league.  The Jets are 31^st.  The Ravens are consistent in putting up top tier ground yards and quality defense.  The Jets are the Jets.  The Ravens have a QB that is going to break a run record for a season at the QB position.  The Jets have a QB carrying mono, presumably from kissing too many street performers in Times Square.

Those are just facts, people.  Some things are very hard to deny.

As a friendly reminder to those of you who like to read things, Christmas is just, uh, so many days away.  You only have so many days to buy me a gift.  Get out there and buy me things.  I like expensive things, like meats, cheeses, ramen, gift certificates to restaurants, fruit snacks, pretzels, and candy.  Basically anything I can put in my mouth.

Leave your gift ideas for me down in the comment section, or anything you feel like talking about.  I’m here to listen, friend.