Just don’t tell me your league has their final on week 17 because that’s plain silly.
TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Cincy:
As per the usual, New England has pattycakes on their sked down the stretch. (we can pretend that the Bills will give them a tussle in Patsland but, no) This will be the 10th straight year that they get a bye thru the first round of the playoffs.
Bucs/Lions:
There have been 9 wr’s that are ranked in the top 25 in fantasy that have played the Lions. As a group they average 25 points in those games. So yeah, Golloday. On tudder side Jameis is good to go vs. a Lions D that has given up a minimum of 2 passing scores in every single game this year.
Bears/Packers:
Green Bay gives up all kinds of scores to rb’s so that’s good news to David Montgomery who has been given every oppo but just. can’t. get. it. going. Poor Chicago fans-Truth Biscuit has turned things around just enough so that the front office won’t go looking for another qb in the offseason. And that means at least one more year of below average play at the qb spot while the team has a dominant D. Suckers.
Potato Skins/Eagles:
Rook McLaurin has the highest target share of any wr corps in the NFL. Sure it’s the league’s lousiest but he should do well vs. a Philly secondary that is looking almost as bad as the Bucs.
Fins/Giants:
Who cares? Actually, I do because I’m chasing last week’s Darius Slayton points. Fifth place in one (not anymore) money league will be mine!
Broncs/Chiefs:
I guess it was during the bye week that it was decided that Lindsay should get the loaf of bread. Since then he’s out-touched Freeman 72-32. You wouldn’t characterize the Chiefs D as ‘good’ but they defend the outside receivers better than anyone else in the league. Still, if you’ve got Sutton you have to play him, right?
Texans/Titans:
There were worries that rb Henry wouldn’t be able to go after he missed practices midweek but it turns out that the Titans are flirting with this ‘load management’ thingy that’s all the rage in NBAland. And who deserves a break more than Henry?
Seahawks/Panthers:
With Penny out this week, Carson can fumble to his heart’s content and not worry about being pulled. Who does he think he is, Daniel Jones? Btw, the Panthers run D is giving up an average of 5.34 yards per rush. As Bill The Cat would say, “GAK!”.
Good luck to you if you’ve made the semis. I’ve got a semi for you.
It’s a good sign he didn’t start crying when he saw the helmet.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/heisman-winner-joe-burrow-reacts-after-receiving-a-bengals-helmet-from-former-nfl-mvp-boomer-esiason/
Ok boomer for once is the best response
Wentz should never throw from the pocket again
The new Jaguar… For when you want to make double-extra sure that people around you know exactly how big of a twat you are 😀
The Jaguar SUV is just a Land Rover that’s been rebranded by Tata isn’t it? Just boomer things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eWIrBOc3zE
“English engineering. As bad as you thought it was.”
I was always told that their cars are great, if you replace all the electrical components.
Great, aside from quality control, fit and finish, shoddy design (in fact a short set a colleague’s car ablaze last year) and a surprising tendency to rust like motherfuckers (INCLUDING THE GODDAMN Defenders)
Never owned a British car, makes me glad I could never afford to own one.
Yeah. If you want to experience a similar level of existential despair or pain, grab a pre-owned high-milleage Audi W12 or an M5 😀
English Engineering, Indian oversight an’ a tosspot behind the wheel 😀
Need this. Engage Kevin Kolb jersey.
What ever happened to David Boston?
Tore an aorta flexing at himself In a mirror
I don’t think Urban’s heart problems and the Washington medical staff is the best fit
derp derp derp 10 yard pass to Ertz derp derp derp 10 yard pass to Ertz derp derp derp 10 yard run by Miles Sanderes
Need a genius cooooch like Urban to figure this out
1st D battery to the head and Urban is having chest pains, will need to resign by days’ end
Best part of someone like Meyer is that could come from any fan in the league
Can’t wait for San Fran to push in Green Bay’s shit in the playoffs.
More likely the Saints do it.
DUBLFUMBL!
Whelp, we can all stop watching Cincy/Pats now.
If you were watching it this is a exactly what you were here for you Patriots d starting mother fucker
I know cuz it’s me in one of my league
THAT’S THE ANDY DALTON I KNOW!!
Be nice irony if Hippo used the P*ts D/ST to beat Sharkbait in fantasy playoffs.
oh Eli…
Eli with the Hat Fuck
Fumble and decent field position? Eli sees and calls.
Some guy in Carolina just tried to catch the field goal only to be stymied by… the net. The net that’s always there for every field goal attempt. Dude.
“Forget it Dude. It’s Carolina.”
-the closing line from my Chinatown/The Big Lebowski mashup
As an NC native, I bet he is from SC or like most people who live in Charlotte, from NJ.
Drunk in Carolina is the only reason to be in Carolina.
Donks gave up on the 2pt
You know how confident I was that the Bears were going to lose to the Packers? I chose to get my asshole waxed instead of watching the game.
Seems to me that would be something you could have done while you were watching the game. Don’t they have that already, like the places you get your haircut and watch sports? They could call it SphinctSports or something.
Only Andy Reid will make it out of KC alive
Tittty Dragon only goes for 30 yards
My colleague at work who is from Marblehead just accused me of opioid-induced heresy when I told him a moment ago that I hoped “we” lost out and missed the playoffs entirely this year. I told him fuck it, Brady’s first SB ring is old enough to vote, need a little excitement, some fun, I want to see some angst and anguish and hate and discontent and that Schwarzenegger line from Conan movie about the cries of his enemies’ women as this pats plane crashes into the mountain. My opinions probably place me in the minority of P*ts fans at this time, however.
But he’s right about the opioid part.
I at least want to see them have to slum it in the wild card round for once.
This strange desire to see chaos in the cosmos probably qualifies me for a Cabinet Secretaryhood in today’s administration.
I just realized I was becomming one of those people… the DSLR hardo people… Also, who’d have thought a fucking tripod’s so useful 😀
What’s your favorite ɢʟǟֆֆ, bröther?
A brimful of Bushmills single malt 😀
Seriously, tho, for simple tourist-y shit – a combo of a 200D (I know,I know!) and an all-in-one Tamron 18 – 400 Telephoto (not the best in any range on the planet, but dial that in a bit and it’s very fucking good 😀 )
For the times I actually intend to go shooting – “Depends on what I’m doing”, a Full-frame 5D Mk4 and a couple of lenses in a kit bag 😀
At this point the Pats O is dependent on missed tackles for success.
And screens cuz the Bengals be like ?
That’s the Bengals specialty.
Donks have a reasonably good pass defense, this is legit impressive quartered backing by Mahomes-y
That’s the Andy Dalton I know!
Football is unpredictable enough, but the 500s take it to a whole ‘nother level.
500s? Is this some kind of code for drugs?
(It’s Indy, right?)
is Los Tejanos (after an apparent “Houston 500” porno)
The Game of the Week is Rams/Cowboys. The Game of The Weak is being played out in Metlife Stadium right now.
Does that make HOU vs TEN the game of the bleak?
Iggles/Dacteds would like a word
That word is suck
Halftime dance party!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=aWTGQ4oa2tE
I’m not sure what it says about the Eagles that they are getting routinely coffin-cornered, but I’d like them to stop it
Watching Redzone, hoping for an Ertzdown. This is the game Redzone forgot.
Even Patrick Mahomes’ bad throws are “great throws that just sailed on hin”
Pretty early in his career to reach hallowed Brett Favre, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady territory, ya think?
I’m projected to beat my best buddy by more than 60 points right now. Probably should start looking for a new best buddy.
Or he could just disappear by the tracks. You never had a best buddy.
All kidding aside, the Bengalis came to play today.
Stupid pride.
Well, they knew they were going to be on film…
In the end they’ll muck it up but right now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIcC8YJrevQ
Referee favoritism towards New England? I am shocked. Shocked, I say!
damnit
allen robinson isn’t doing anything…
-Mrs. Allan Robinson
Oh Bungles. Thou hast bungled.
The refs helped on that one.
Tom Brady just got sacked by the Bengals. Can they do that?!
Oh, now we fumbled the ball. We don’t know how play good.
Our own Low Commander is stopping by the right House today and he will have no choice but to watch his former boltmen play my Vikings in beautiful 4K glory.
Nobody tell him, OK?
How much extra sinew ya got?
Not a lot. Going with tenderloin today.
Tanny Fanny, back to his usual shitty decisionmaking.
DONKS WOO SHUTOUT AVOIDANCE!!
Why would you give a droid emotions?
-Saudi men
Know who I admire? Anyone who had the bollocks to start the LOLfins D today.
I take it that Eli jumped right back on that dead horse?
/lost my feed of the tilt
oh yeah
This first half is going so well for me fantasy-wise, I’m thinking of PM’ing Kate Upton.
I need ALL YOUR TANNY FANNY POINTZ
Live look at Mahomes
This is such bullshit.
There’s no hope.
Cheers.
No hope to kill yas today, at least. Cheer up, “Everyone’s Ded” Everton shows up next week
If you remove
Then append
It will embed.
Awesome. Thanks
You should write the manual Unsurprised. Seriously you are the most knowledgeable.
JJ spent last 3 weeks editing in as much baby Yoda as possible into the movie
We all know this to be true
Just like Eli into home videos of him and his brothers.
Going to end with a village of Baby Yodas with a Mandalorian in the middle
Did Phillip Lindsey not make the flight?
Didn’t meet the height requirement?
And Miller blows his shoulder out again.
This the labotomy the Patriots deserve for stealing the Bengals signals.
It Follows: NFL Edition
I’d love to see Michel run for about 220 today just to shut up all the Patriots mouthbreathers who say he sucks when he’s running behind the same line the use to excuse Brady’s dropping performance.
Pats O struggling against the Bengalis. I can see the future. It consists of New England being one and done in the playoffs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb8fWUUXeKM
The 90s are back!